Moving on After a Break-up

Have your questions answered to some extent. This is essential because this is what will eat at you immediately following the break-up. If the situation allows, talking thoroughly with your ex will allow better clarity as to why the relationship ended. It is best to ask anything and everything at this point (and this point only) so you will be able to completely separate and begin building a life without him.

This is so important: STAY separated and sever every tie there is. Keep your space until the wounds are healed--I'm talking you can comfortably imagine both you and him dating other people. It most likely will not be easy trying to keep the distance but please know that it is so crucial. And just know, you can be happy again, and you can fall in love again. Like anything painful in life, it starts off unbearable but gradually, and even sometimes, more quickly, it heals. Our bodies are designed that way, and I believe, our hearts too. If this is so then, you will realize how detrimental it is to return to what hurt you. It's like putting a burn back in the flames. Stay away from the heat and close to what nourishs you.

You have built friendships in your life for times like these. Take advantage of your friends and talk to them if you need them. At the very least, don't close off those who care about you at this time, because whether or not it is apparent to you, you need them most now.

And we all now it happens to some, so I am here to encourage those who lost all friends to a vacuum of a relationship, get out and get involved in something to meet some people. Now is the time to get grounded in your connections with people and really build some valuable relationships. Just realize what happened and don't cling onto another guy and let it happen again, build yourself first.

Lastly in terms of friends, take time to reconnect with old ones. Call up those you've lost contact with and set a date to catch up. You'll be surprised by how refreshing this can be.

This one can't be stressed enough. Stay occupied with activities and people you enjoy! Unless you really enjoy sulking in your loneliness (which I doubt you do, because you are reading this), seek out things to do. Spend time doing the things you neglected to do before. Get out of the house and go on a bike ride, out to lunch with an old friend, or treat yourself to something (ie. ladies maybe a good pedicure, and guys, perhaps a shiny new piece of technology?). Now is the time to live for and take care of yourself.

Now get your daily endorphins from exercise! Exercise and eating well has unlimited benefits. Not only will it relieve physical stresses but it will ease your mind, help you sleep better at night (hey, we could all use that at times like these), and keep you occupied (hopefully not the eating part).

The increased self-esteem and even sense of self-control it will provide will be advantageous beyond measure.

Right now you are so wrapped up in all your emotions, it is a perfect time to take a step back and take some time out for others. Get involved in your community. I know we hear that phrase all too often, but i'm sure there is something out there that you're interested in putting your support behind. Whether it be offering a helping hand to a non-profit organization, cleaning up a beach, or volunteering at your local hospital, there is always love needing to be doled out. The reward you will get if you actually go out and serve your community will feed you and keep you doing it again and again. Honestly, what better way to rebuild yourself and take your mind off someone?

The toughest times in life are the most valuable and the times where we learn the most. Don't let all the great life lessons wrapped up in this relationship and its closure go to waste. Make sure you evaluate what worked for you in it and what didn't, what you must have and can't stand. Write these down. Use this list to evaluate future Mr.Rights to hopefully nix them asap and save both of you the heartbreak before you realize two years in that you hate how he never confronts you when he has a problem and neglects his dirty dishes. Hopefully doing so will save you from wasting time with the same wrong guy twice. Always, always go with your gut, and if something is not right, get out.

The truth is, if you--and only you--really find yourself to be ready to start dating again, the best way to start meeting guys is to be leading a full, complete life. This is just naturally irresistible. Who isn't attracted to a confident, stable person? And the reason we are is because those people, in reality, are the ones ready to be in a healthy relationship.