Paris, Not France

Best known for her 'work' in the famous tape "One Night in Paris," and the flop television show 'The Simple Life,' Paris Hilton is a sure fire piece of work herself.

The owner, until recently, of seventeen dogs, Miss Hilton is the jilted heiress of the famous chain of hotels. Yes, I said jilted. The inheritances she and her siblings were to receive were eaten up by a decision from their grandfather to will 97% of the money which the kids would've received upon his death to charity.

Her name is huge as a marketing tool, this much is evident by the popularity of blogger Perez Hilton, a clear parody of her name. Of course, Perez isn't as skinny, but he makes up for it in buckets of personality.

Overrated television series number 3957203, The Simple Life features Paris and Nichole (Nichole Ritchie, Lionel Ritchie's daughter.) You can watch these girls do things like milk cows, make out with local boys, and be complete vapid idiots on screen. It's what they do best, besides sex tapes.

Take the following ingredients and mash them together in a three and a half ounce vial, and you've got a surprisingly good scent guaranteed to make you smell nothing like Paris Hilton:

• frozen apple
• peach nectar
• freesia
• mimosa
• jasmine
• sandalwood
• ylang ylang
• oak moss

Having dropped out of high school and later getting her GED, this hanger-on to A-list celebrities actually released two "books" about her super hot life.

The first is an autobiography, called Confessions of an Airhea... I mean, Heiress. The second is like a diary for those who vomit Armani called Your Heiress Diary.

Suffice it to say, I didn't buy either of these.