i sit here and wonder where i exist, when i exist

i stand here and wonder why i become, if i become

i wander far away to forget my thoughts, until i forget to think

and

in this cone of peaceful silence the self experiences rebirth

phoenix-like, flickering, the burning soul of will

anxiously trembles forth with forgotten strides

a weary, dust covered book spine breaking open

bursting, revealing drained internal resources recently rediscovered

sleeping within some shell of fleshy lethargy, shattered

but

full, filled with some no-thing whole some-ness

awaiting some interactive conjuration from its elf

un-puppeted puppetting puppet master unstrung, unleashed

floppily strung out on the floor, hanging with zero gravity help

free to follow inner formless phantoms which plague the minds

i return with a pulling suck of my owned awareness of me

and

it slips back to me all too quickly for a sip remaining

dizzy hums drizzling from my ears land on the floor evaporating

seep up the walls, through the floors, slip out the ceiling

double drained again for now, refreshed, renewed

emptied full-ness, inside out