The Polish Prince who danced with the Putas

The Polish Prince who danced with the Putas

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So here I am in Costa Rica with a gang full of new best friends that I made over night. There was absolutely no question about whether or not we were going to hit the town each and every night to paint the sky red with laughter and mirth. Amongst the gang there is always a couple stars that stick out; the Polish Prince was one of the brightest. He had an energy that shouted loudly at the top of his lungs: laugh with me, drink with me, share with me; because I'm here for a good time, for this is the only moment that matters.

Monkey bar was one of my favorite drinking holes in Tamarindo. A three level bar with two dances floors, one for salsa and the other for hip-hop, with sunken middle platform housing a large bamboo themed lounge. Like all Princes, this one wanted the ability to communicate with everyone, so he never left home without his Spanish translation book. We would joke that 15 minutes couldn't pass without him making some attempt to pick up on a girl. He never refused a drink as he roamed from girl to girl trying his best to womanize everything with a pulse. As he drunkenly thumbed through his translation book; he found his hook, line and sinker. Funny and ridiculous pick up lines that were translated into Spanish. We all had a grand laugh when he shared them with us. From that moment on, it was his only mission to use one of these lines to meet a willing female who wanted some of his polish sausage. The lines were so out-right ridiculous that they made for a great ice breaker that would open the door of possibility. His approach was classic, walking up with a serious look and trying to say the lines before he showed them the text that would always get a good laugh from his prey. I would later ask him for the exact lines he was using from his book; so that I could share them with you. Actual lines taken from a Spanish translation book:

Can I kiss you? Te puedo dar un beso?

You're just using me for sex. Solo estas jugando conmigo.

You look like someone I know Me pareces conocido/a

Pillow talk: My chicken - Mi pollo/a My fatty Mi gordo/a

Will you meet my parents? Conocerias a mis papas?

He/She Gets around El/Ella es un perro/una perra.

You're cool, but no thanks. Me caes muy bien, pero no gracias.

Don't worry, I'll do it myself. No te preocupes, yo lo hago solo/a.

The last one I found to be the funniest. We went far beyond the call of duty that night and became beligerent spanish pick-up line speaking fools. No women in her right mind wanted to speak with of after the local Guaro ( moonshine) took hold as we stumbled around the playing field. So when all else failed, the Prince relied on the fail safe for comfort; the Putas. The Putas would dance with any Gringo looking to have a good time; no matter what their condition. So the Prince danced like no one was watching, he danced his ass off with the Putas; and they loved it. He grinded his way into infamy that night, but to the Putas dismay it ended there, he didn't take them up on their many offer that went like so: "hot sex for money, hot sex for money". Apperently that was the only english translated pick-up line they knew how to say! Although the night ended without any luck or hor sex for money. It was a grand night that I will never soon forget. Looking back, I made more close friends in my month in Costa Rica then I have from living in Vancouver for two years.

P.S. If you still don't know what a Putas is, you will have to look that one up on your own.

Pura Vida Amigo

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