So you've gone without sleep, you are tired beyond anything you can imagine. Your significant other is there sleeping soundly next to you and every time the baby cries, you look at him, waiting to see if he wakes up. He doesn't even show signs of life, other than the snoring and the occasional rapid eye movement. He's had enough sleep, why is it that he doesn't hear the baby? So you assume he does hear the baby and just decides to pretend to sleep and stay cozy in bed right?

Let's stop right there before the fights and resentment!

Let me introduce you to our friend the reticular formation. You can look it up on wikipedia but I would recommend a biopsychology book or neuroscience or you can keep reading and I will save you the time. However let it be known that the reticular formation is important and has more uses than waking and sleeping, but for now we will only focus on that function.

So, the reticular formation has a job of waking us up to important stimuli while we are sleeping, this stumuli has to be important prior to sleeping. Very anxious people are easier to wake, while people who are more laid back wake less to noise. So how about Bob who sleeps through a train but wakes when someone whispers? Well this individual has some kind of anxiety or lack of trust to whispering and feels it to be dangerous so his reticular formation triggers a "wake" for him. (Notice how dad's don't wake up when their little girl is a baby, but once she's a teen anything wakes them up at night.)

So is it that the baby is more important to the mother than the father? No of course not! Your partner needs to know that he/she needs to be on call that night or whatever night you need them to wake if you haven't rested. Also, if your partner takes pain meds, or drinks alcohol prior to sleep there will be some delayed response in his/her wake. If you have to take pain medication make sure you let others know that you might sleep through a baby's cry.

This very thing applies to alarm clocks. If you are used to having a person waking you up instead of an alarm, chances are you have trouble waking up without them UNLESS they are not around.

So ladies and gentlemen, let each other know who needs to do what before hand, expecting the other partner to know is not worth the time you spend fuming on it.