... However it happened, it sucked because you were the dump-ee rather than the dump-er.

What's worse though is when you find out that your ex is already in a new relationship. How could they? After all you went through together, shouldn't they take a little time to grieve or something? It's got to be a rebound relationship, right?

Not necessarily.

EXAMPLE ONE

Let's take the example of Maureen and Dominic. They dated long distance for a year and a half. She'd met his parents and he'd met hers. Things were going as well as they could until things took an economic downturn. (You may have heard of it. We're calling it a recession.)

Dominic's job was in jeopardy and Maureen's business wasn't pulling in the money it used to. Visits became less and less frequent because neither of them could afford plane tickets. He couldn't find a job near her and she couldn't move her business to be with him.

Things between them cooled off to the point that they sometimes went days without talking to each other. Finally, Maureen decided to break it off with Dominic. It just wasn't fair to either of them to be in a relationship where they had no foreseeable future.

A week later, Maureen was in another relationship. Was it rebound?

No. Due to the situation, Maureen had felt single for months. She hadn't seen Dominic since Christmas and they barely managed to speak to each other once a week since then.

In her mind, she really wasn't in a relationship, so while the breakup made it "official" she was emotionally ready for a new relationship right away. It may look like a rebound relationship to Dominic, but to Maureen it definitely is not.

EXAMPLE TWO

Let's take another example, a meaner, nastier example.

Gina and Scotty have been married for 20 years. To everyone on the outside, it looks like they have a great relationship.

Three kids, stand-alone house, all that typical stuff that equals happiness and the kind of joy you only find in a Disney movie. Oh, except this movie has a villain. Scotty has been cheating on Gina since day one. He's got a girlfriend in every state that he travels to for work and none of them know that he's married or that they're not the only one. Yikes!

When Gina finally discovers the truth, she divorces his sorry ass. Scotty is remarried two months later. Was this a rebound relationship?

Yes and no. Judging from Scotty's past behavior, we can assume he's not going to be faithful to this woman either. You really gotta feel bad for the girl. Scotty's rebound is not emotional - he's not looking for love from the woman he marries. He's just looking for the security of having a wife at home in case he runs out of women to bed on the road.

Harry and Anna have been dating for a year. Things were wonderful and happy and beautiful, at least that's what Anna thought.

Secretly, Harry had been unhappy. He'd been pulling away from Anna, being withdrawn and quiet and not wanting to go out and do things with her friends.

Eventually, Anna got the picture and dumped Harry. She didn't want to have to do it, but things just weren't working out. She loves Harry. She just can't be with Harry if he's going to be acting like this.

Anna's friends take her out for drinks and dancing and Anna ends up, slightly inebriated, dancing a very out-of-step tango with a guy who looks like he could be Harry's brother.

The next day, Anna announces she's in love. This guy is the guy for her and life is perfect. Is this a rebound? Sure is!

The best advice I can give is to just wait it out. If you approach them with the attitude that their choice of mate is less than valid, it's only going to make them try harder to make the rebound relationship work.

Give them some time to make their hideous mistake and hope that when it's all over they'll come back to you, hopefully without any extra baggage or diseases.