If Red Bull really does give you wings, call me Icarus. I've soared beautifully over the sea of Hollywood's skeezy nightlife to land safely back at my apartment on more than one occasion.  I've also had the wax on my wings melted from flying too close to the midnight sun.  Whether I fly like an eagle or fall like a rock, I will never turn my back on the R-BAV(Red Bull and Vodka). 

  My relationship with Red Bull began at San Diego State University.  Known for being the "Ivy League" of the west coast,  San Diego State boasts the largest average cup size(32 C, even when the male populous is factored in) as well as one of the last on-campus bars in academia. 

"Hey bro, you wanna grab a pitcher before Rhetorical Criticism?"

 "I don't not want to."  

As Campus Representative, it was my job to make sure my fellow schoolmates could get a free can of Red Bull when surplus energy was needed.  I was taught complicated acronyms like PINOE(People In Need Of Energy) and I was specifically instructed to focus on "key usage opportunities."  This meant cramming for finals, long roadtrips, Greek philanthropies and any creative event that requires physical or mental effort.  But let's be serious, I was in college with an unlimited supply of the greatest and most expensive mixer on the market. With great power comes great responsibility.  I wasn't yet consumed by the dark side, but there was much fear in this young Edmondson. 

In the summer of '03, after my third year of college I finagled an internship at Red Bull's corporate headquarters in Santa Monica, CA.  I was looking forward to working long hours, contributing like a full time employee and wowing the corporate big wigs with my "go getter," attitude. 

"Edmondson, go home!  It's 7pm on Friday night.  Shouldn't you be out with your friends or something?"

"Who me?  Just kidding Mr. P, I'm heading home after I finish this marketing proposal.  Let me know what you shoot at Spyglass tomorrow and tell Tom his days are numbered...I'm gunnin' for him!"

"You're goin' places Edmondson. I'm keeping an eye on you.  Big things in your future Edmondson, big things."

"Thank you sir.  If I do, it's because I get to work with people like you.  See you Monday."  

My actual interning scenario was much different.  I was working in events planning under a 30 something woman who was living away from her boyfriend and completely burned out on her job.  I guess there was a reason she wasn't in PR.  When she asked me what I wanted out of my internship,  I couldn't explain my corporate wet dream of impressing people with actually doing no work, so I said "I'd like to learn as much as possible...Whatever you can teach me."

"Great!  Go scrape the goo off that wall and alphabetize these extreme videos."

My internship was half janitorial and half "keep Cameron busy for 45 minutes" work.  I eventually adopted her lack luster attitude toward work.  "Cameron, you need to stop rolling your eyes at me everytime I ask you to do something."

"Well it would be a lot easier to act enthused if I thought was going to do something other than scrape goo... By the way, you should totally quit."

My summer would have redefined hell if it weren't for Hollywood and the company Red Bull policy. There was a stock room in the back of the office where they had about 20-40 cases of Red Bull on hand at all times.  Employees were supposed to use disgression and only take a single case once in a while.  I went through 3 cases a week.  The novelty of Red Bull had worn off for the older employees, but I was just getting warmed up. 

For a single young man, Hollywood can afford incomparable diversions.  I saw top notch comedians, bar hopped on the Sunset strip and got into the most exclusive clubs a shallow young man can dream of.   I figured two very important things out that summer.   One was that I would return to Hollywood to live and work after college, which I have done.  The other was that I would always start my partying nights out the same, with two double shot RBAVs.  Double check.

The recipe for the perfect RBAV is simple.  Two shots of well vodka to one can of Red Bull.  You can get fancy and dress it up with Grey Goose or Kettel One, but the truth is Bukov(generic vodka) works just as well. 

Icarus paid the ultimate price for flying too close to the realm of gods and it's a real shame.  I bet he would have been a fun dude to party with.