Revenge, Inc. Part 4: A Short Story
78Author's Note:
Hello, everyone and welcome back. Here is yet another installment or serial (however you would like to put it) to my Revenge, Inc. series. You'll find that I gave a bit of depth into the inner workings of Valhalla and abroad in this addition (which I am not quite sure how many more there will be). Much more will be revealed just as soon as it materializes for me, so please be patient and enjoy. Please fee free to leave comments as I'm curious to hear what you think of this story so far. Thank you for reading.
-ODP
If you haven't already, please click on the corresponding links to be redirected to the preceding installments of Revenge, Inc.
Now, Highway 4 used to be a long stretch of rolling suburban homes of pastels meant to liven up the neighborhood. It wasn’t Jimmy that came to pick me up that day, but some other young deputy who was wet behind the ears. I think he told me his name was Randy. Just as soon as I got in, he took off onto Highway 4 and hit the flashers doing a burnout during takeoff.
Mayor Sylvestri proposed this bill that got owners on Highway 4 to paint their houses “favorable colors” in effort to spruce up the town, free of charge or in other words, tax payer's money. But the residents ate it up and entire families came out and painted their houses with pinks, purples, and yellows and had a fun time doing so. They made it a big smorgasbord, as families cooked and shared meals and refreshments with one another. But the upcoming years would prove to be somewhat of a joke and the proposed bill turned out to be a long-term failure with the stock market crashing and the bandits got away in their private jets to their off-shore accounts in Macau and the Caymans. You might have read all about this in the papers—just not the ones you normally read—but I read it in The Sentinel and believed it word for word. It all made sense to me and the sources were credible enough, as some of the minions of these fat cats had no problem pleading their innocence and crucifying their ex-higher-ups. Someone must have silenced those singing canaries because they were never heard from ever again.
It was during this time when all of the houses everywhere just about went to shit. Suddenly no one could afford their mortgages and so were forced into foreclosure and in many cases, poverty. Middle-class families were suddenly living in their cars with expired registrations and were keeping warm by burning trash as the homeless shelters were over maximum capacity. Letters to congress for help came back unopened and ignored. Then came the pushers and prostitutes turning the once trick-or-treat friendly houses into brothels and crystal methamphetamine factories geared to kill whatever the economy missed. Gangs of rogues began to form. They pillaged from those who were barely getting by during the Crisis. Think this can’t happen to your neighborhood? Think again. If it can happen to mine, it could definitely happen to yours. Everything just turned to instant shit.
While my mind was racing, Randy power-slides around the corner just enough to get the cruiser’s ass to barely miss a telephone poll. I damn near slid over on top of his lap, because I wasn’t wearing my seat belt.
“Where we going?” I asked him when I regained my seating. The station was right down Highway 4. We weren’t supposed to turn.
“Felix and company are over at the Lake,” Randy said.
I thought to say something but then kept my mouth shut. Already, my heart dropped like a stone and fell all the way down to my abdomen. I felt sick and felt the blood rushing out of my face and my extremities, making me shiver. I didn’t like that we were headed to the Lake. I didn’t like this punk cop driving and I of course didn’t like how things were becoming blurry as the image of Haley was already a fading photograph in my mind.
At the gated entrance of Willow Lake, a cruiser was stationed at the path with another newbie cop who stood waiting. As soon as he saw us, he waved us in. When we got inside, I saw Felix’s cruiser, two dark gray unmarked detective cruisers, an ambulance, and a few other cars I didn’t recognize. Felix, who was squatting when I arrived, stood up and looked at me. Before Randy could come to a complete stop, I hopped out of the cruiser and hit the ground running. Felix put both his hands up to try and slow me down, or so I thought.
“Now Cody,” Felix said. “I want you to…Hey! Look at me!” But my eyes were trying desperately and without success to see around Felix’s large frame. Everyone at the lake was huddled around something that was ground-level. And just as I was about to walk past Felix, I felt that death-grip upon my shoulder again just like the other night. It was Felix’s bear paws on both my shoulders. He stopped me in my tracks. He had my attention. “Okay, are you with me now?” Felix had fixed his gaze upon me. I nodded my head. “We found Haley, but not the way you had hoped…I’m so sorry, Cody. Haley's gone.” All the air left my body. I felt as if I got punched in the stomach by a fucking cinder-block.
Suddenly, the huddled mass around the object on the ground that lay atop a black tarp all got up and took a step back. Now all eyes were on me. There was Haley lying still. Her eyes were closed and her face pointed towards the river. She had no shoes or socks and was still wearing the same clothes I saw her in when last I saw her four days prior, which were jeans and a pink short-cropped blouse. The way she was lying there, I swear, it was like she was sleeping on her own bed back at the house on a late Saturday morning just like so many other Saturdays when I'd walk into her bedroom and find her asleep...But it was different this time. There was no rising or falling of her chest. There was no air being pulled in through her nostrils and no air escaping through the small opening of her mouth. Her skin was pale—it was almost a non-color. Haley looked like she was cold so I reach for her and find she’s like ice. Next thing, I’m rubbing her arms and hands to no avail and then lifting her up and off that black tarp that I discover isn’t a black tarp at all but an unzipped body bag.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell is he doing?” Felix says in the distance. “Cody! You can’t move her body!”
“She’s not a goddamn 'body,’ Felix! She’s my daughter.” I’m walking with Haley in my arms and didn’t know where I thought I was going. But wherever it was, Felix was in my way. “Step aside, Felix.”
“Listen to me Cody. Forensics has to investigate...They have to do their jobs.” I laugh.
“You know, captain. If you did your FUCKING job, we wouldn’t be having this conversation! You let my daughter get kidnapped and killed and now you want me to let you cut her up and probe her? Are you FUCKING NUTS?!”
“You're hysterical right now. Put her down, Cody. Now, you understand that I’m not asking you?”
"No, she's coming home with me, Felix, where she belongs. You can't stop me from taking my own daughter home."
He then motions for someone out of my view and gives them the nod. Next thing a black leather arm hooks me from underneath my chin and a firm hand covers the entire back of my neck. The world then slowly fades out of view as I begin to lose the strength to keep Haley from falling.
© Copyright, 2009. All Rights Reserved.
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One Lao poem has stated that:
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Comments
....told like the perfect story teller that u are! can't wait for the next part now. (btw. I read your interview and loved it!) keep on posting..
Dohn--what more can I say than just awesome. I always love how you end your stories. Tell you this Dohn--this is like 'best seller' material.
Just fyi =D
this KILLS me....as I begin to loose the strength to keep her from falling.....oh, that says so much!!!! I have 3 daughters, I need to hug them now....
great job Dohn. Oh, have a good halloween. Wher can I find this interview?
Hey, Dave. Thanks. I wish I could get each of the serials published sooner! I appreciate your interest in it.
Hello, myownworld. Thank you for the compliment! I'll be sure to post just as soon as I can.
Wow, AIDY. I'm just floored by the compliment. I would like to find a really good comic book artist to make this into a graphic novel, IDK. A novella would work too...Time will tell ;) Thank you.
Yes, that was my favorite line too :D Thanks so much Justine! Please do give them a hug from me too. Happay Halloween and as far as the interview, you should've received it on Wednesday along with your weekly update from HP admin. Let me know if you didn't...
This would be a great book my friend or even a movie. You have a real talent.
Thanks for that Scott. That means a lot coming from you. That would be something else, wouldn't it?
WOW! You got me hooked here! Just re-read for a few typos here and there - but, you are a writer and of course, those are just those little details we all have to endure! Great job! Kartika
You got us hooked, now! Good writing.
Amazing. You really put it together, words after words. Great story. This is something you have here. Excellent story, I can't wait for more. You got my attention with your revenge Stories. You can not stop now, you have to keep going. Well done Dohn121.
Dohn man I can't get enough of your writing. The pace of the story just seems perfect and the overall flow just right — you hardly see qualities like that in today's literature. I'm glad you have the story-teller talent man; it's great to finally read an actual story and not a bunch of information mashed together and labeled 'novel'.
Dohn,
I really like the detail of this. All I can say is..BRAVO!!! I can't wait to see the movie.
It gets exciting... What will happen next? Jan-ja-rannn!!!
Thank you so much for that, Kartika. I went back and fixed those typos. I hope I didn't leave any rocks go unturned. Thanks for the vote of confidence. More to come!
Thanks, Juneaukid. I'm glad that I did get you hooked! That's the plan!
Thanks, Leop. I really am into this story. I'm just sorry I can't crank out more sooner, as I am up to my eyeballs in other obligations. Rest assured that I will continue forward and publish more installments as soon as possible. Thanks for the compliment!
Hey, Arthur. Thanks, bro. I'm running with this story as long as I see it fit. I'm not sure if I'm ready to make it into a novel--maybe a novella or a graphic novel. I like my main character so far and would like to do him "justice." Thank you so much for the boost.
Thank you, UK! I'll try not to let you down in oncoming chapters/serials. I have a lot of ideas in which I want to implement in this story. I just have to piece it all together. A movie??? That would be pretty amazing :D
Hahaha! Thanks, lancelonie! Time will tell :D
Dohn, this is a real cliff-hanger. Everybody's GOT to read the next installment. Still, did you have to kill Haley? I didn't expect that, not really, and now am in shock. That poor girl. His OWN DAUGHTER!!! Please write quick. We have to find out what happens next.
Hey, Paradise7. Yes, unfortunately, Haley did have to die in order to create an impetus for Cody to become Marak. As far as the next installment goes, it'll be ready in a few days, as I'm working on editing/rewriting my novel (please be patient). Thank you so much for reading. I hope more readers will join in.
Interesting Read - Just had to dig out my Kleenex box - bit of a sad ending. Make it happy again Dohn. lol. Thanks.
Thanks for reading it, Lady_E. I'm glad that you liked it. It's good to hear from you again!
Hey dohn you are doing great. I read all the way through the installments. You sure this is gonna end in a novella length? Good going.
Yes, I certainly hope so, Lynne. Thanks for taking my up on my suggestion. When you asked me if I think its gonna end in a novella length, did you mean that it might be too short or too long? LOL Just wondering. Thanks for reading.
Hi Dohn, I am really enjoying the instalements please keep them coming. Thanks my friend.
That's wonderful to hear, keira7. I'm glad that you do! There's definitely more to come!
I see the potential for it to go into a full novel here. Not sure how many words you are at now but there just seems to be so much you could do with this character to carry it to a full novel length.
Hello, Lynn. Thank for clearing that up. My origal plan was to make this into a novella. Besides, I just don't see it practical to post a full-length novel here as I want to bring closure to this story. Thank you for the comment!
Okay Dohn, I think you really hit your stride with this installment. I believe you were correct in pushing the idea of comic books. Added images would do wonders and the breaks between each installment make me imagine I am desperately trying to turn pages.
Just an idea, but maybe you can employ Cris A to do some Photoshop images to go with this, just another facet that can add to an already exciting story.
Wow, twalker74. Thank you for the compliment. That's certainly an idea. I did originally imagine Marak as a comic book hero, yet I wanted others to take the work (including of course his character) seriously--many people don't, unfortunately, especially intellectuals.
I thought about employing the help of Cris A a number of times (I had no idea that you knew him, by the way). I also have a friend who I lost touch with that's an amazing artist (he drew me a conceptualized book cover for one of my short stories which I have framed--The Absence of Aurora). Hopefully he could help me as well.
Thank you so much for the advice, twalker74! I really appreciate your suggestions.
Hi Dohn. This is exactly the genre that I read, and it is more than comparable. In a well written story, like this one, the reader, can pick up any installment (without first reading the previous ones) and be completely at ease with the characters because they are so well developed, as is the plot. I didn't have to read the other installments (although, believe me, I will) in order to know this character, or that of Felix. If I could find a way to read my computer in bed like a book, I wouldn't have to single-handedly support the local Barnes and Noble anymore. You've practically got your own bookstore here! Anyway, great story.
Wednesday update? I think I did something wrong with my account, as I have not gotten updates?
I hugged the kids extra, they are all sick of me now. :)
Hope you had a good halloween.
PS, I got to see Watchmen, and boy, was that ever a good movie!! Maybe someday I'll be watching Revenge,Inc. and Ill be able to say...I read the original sotry!!
Off topics who said the Yankees would win in 5, jeeez I wish I had have backed a 4-1 score. Ok I know it's only 3-1 but trust me they will win in 5, one happy Dohn ; )
Hello, Linda. Thank you for the wonderful comment. I don't spend time on anything that I don't care about and so I care a great deal about my Revenge, Inc. series. I'm going to make a push to see to it that the series does go forward and that I complete it or bring some closure to the story entire. I guess I do have some sort of cyber-library right here at HubPages (loved that comment!). So long as people such as yourself keep visiting, it will stay open! Thank you, Linda. I hope to hear from you again soon.
Hey, Justine. Thank you for the comment. I'm not sure why you didn't receive your weekly update, but I can send you my interview to you so you can view it. I'm glad that you enjoyed the Watchmen and hope that you will someday find the opportunity to read it as well (I'd recommend that you just buy the graphic novel, by the way. You won't regret it). Halloween was fun!
Greetings, HT! Yeah, it's gonna be tough for the Phillies to make a comeback (well, damn-near impossible). Cliff Lee just plain scares me tonight, but if you look at the Phillies dugout after A-Rod hit that double last night, they looked emotionally drained. Tonight, if the Yankees can get a two-run lead early (up until the 5th inning) we will win! Talk you soon, my friend. Great new avatar by the way :D
Thank you!! I would really like to read the interview.
PS Go Yankees!! I saw the news this am and was soooo excited! (I dont have cable)
Shame about the cable, Justine--maybe you should look into getting a digital tuner, as they are pretty affordable and don't have a monthly cost. You know, if I had to choose, I'd take internet over TV too. Yes, I'll send it to you ASAP. Go Yankees!!!
Oh this is so sad. I don't want to read the next part but I do want to read the next part.
Hello, Flightkeeper. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I guess that I did my job as a writer if I was able to extract such an emotion! I hope you'll do the latter!
Dohn, I read this the other day not signed in, dint comment. I forgot about it until just now. It's a great start on a good novel, good luck with it and great writing.
Hey, Charles. Thanks for commenting. I'm not sure where this work will take me, but I do already know how I will bring some closure to it! Cross your fingers!
Dohn - you're one talented writer!
Thank you so much, Shalini! You read this all in one fell swoop! I wish Part 5 was reading for you to read, but it's still on slow-bake at the moment! It'll be ready on Friday at the latest :D
I'll wait....with bated breath!! :)
I'm glad to hear it :D
Hey dohn, I have been off of hubpages for a while, but I did happen to notice that you were interviewed for hubpages and I wanted to say "Congrats!" That is incredible :D
Thank you Luciendasky, for that. It's good to see you're back and hope everything is okay. I hope to see you around ;)
hi Dohn, glad to read this part, finally it came down to what I am expecting, Haleys body, seems like I am reading through every line and just waiting for the next sentence, touching and deeply emotional, have always soft spot for children, specially little girls!
Thank you, Pretty. I'm so happy that you're enjoying this story so far. I think that I'm enjoy writing this story as much as others enjoy reading it (I hope). Like I said, Friday is Part 5, so I hope I see you then ;)
Waiting for Friday now! :)
Ha! Thank you, UH. I'll hold you to that ;)
Just read the first four parts. What can I say, can't wait for revenge to be finally served cold. I would like to say well done, but you're not through yet. So will "you have a killer" do? :D
That's great to hear, Cris A. There's still much more that needs to be revealed before I reach the final conclusion. Stay tuned!
Holy cow dohn! I can see by all the great comments that others feel very much like I do when I say "Awesome job!" You really do have a talent for writing. The flow of the story, the way you have the characters 'doing' instead of 'saying' and a whole lot more that would take up way too much space here.
Again - Awesome job! I will be searching my mail box for the next segment!
Thank you, Enelle ;) That means a lot coming from you. I was always taught to not waste words and that is how I try to write (first and foremost). I'll also try my best at everything I do. I really could not ask for a better comment/compliment, so thank you! Part 5 will be ready by tomorrow, as I already wrote its first draft :D
dude....DUDE!!! this would make an excellent movie! you blow me away.
:D Thank you, cosette. That would be an amazing feat. I'm no screenplay writer, but I sure wouldn't mind selling it to someone! Part 5 comes out later today!
Watching closely the development, not only of your story, but of your readers. You are getting some excellent advise and ideas! Good job. Next
Thanks, Duchess. I can't say just how flattered I would be it this would turn into a movie. I really do like all my characters and the subplot of the story entirely. But as many writers would say, the story is king...I'm having a great time just creating. Thank you.
dave272727 says:
4 weeks ago
Wow. That is all I can say after reading all four of you Revenge, Inc. stories. I am excited to see what happens next.