How to stop a woman from cheating - How a husband could avoid a cheating wife
63MY husband sucks!! He won't show me any lovin
I decided to write my own blog about my own intimicy in my marriage. I have been married for about five years but seperrated on two occasions, mostly because my husband does not give me attention. And all I ask for is love, intimacy, oh and most importantly HONESTY. I always tell him as long as he tells me the truth, I can forgive anything or even except it. It always seems like he likes to pick a fight with me just so he doesn't have to be intimate, I find it weird. I have been in a few relationships throughout my life and I have NEVER had this problem.
Throughout my life, I have never believed cheating was right. I have always had morals but now I find myself in this marriage, where as my husband never wants to do the deed and I am understanding why some married people cheat.
I am always thinking how many woman are there out there that really have to beg for it from there man? Usually that is not the case, its the other way around. I am 33 now, but I can remember in my younger days I never wanted to do it, but now, that is all I want to do. He says I am a Nympho, how nice. LOL. But I know that is not the case. I am just a person in constant need of attention or affection.
Why does he care who I text on my phone? He's always worried if its another guy, but why does he care he isn't taking care of his wife. It is very heartbreaking, if he only knew. Every time I try to talk to him it turns in to a big argument and he is right and I am wrong because I say, I am going to find someone else because he can't take care of me.
Well, I am thinking I need to invest in some toys. Although the real thing is always the best!!
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Comments
From reading your other hub on selling your daughters anuity, I would think your husband is having deeper problems which is causing his lack of interest in sex. Is it a recent development starting with your recent financial situation? Or, has it been like this since the onset of your marriage? I can't speak for him but if I were in his shoes and not being able to keep the bills paid, I'd be feeling pretty inadequate thinking if I can't support my wife and children how can I ever satisfy my wife in the bedroom. And thats usually when the blame game starts. You seem like a very decent person and I wish you luck in this matter.
I like to bang still.
The strange thing is my husband is 7 years younger than I am.
I have needs and I do not sleep around, but dam I need to be touched or I am going to go crazy!!!!
Sometimes the actual physical side fails for some men, I was like this with my wife right at the beginning, but as soon as I got used to pumping some lead(sorry for that phrase...it's the only one that came to mind!!) we were alright, for me it all came down to stressing about it, over weight, tired and pretty depressed with my little dude that the problems affected sex in a big way, so I would try and avoid it....either that or he's gay!!
Maybe you need to be with a woman, my cabin is always free ; )
Hey Could I watch?..maybe take some pics....
How much for a pic ?
Personally I would just ignore him if he is acting jealous of you having male friends. When he starts doing this I would get up and go to the other room, or get in my car and go to the store. Do not indulge his temper tantrums and then maybe he will get the hint. My sister has been married for eight years and has two kids, and my brother in law has never been jealous of any of her friends.
Also, I know this may not be good to say, but if you are not happy now I wonder how things will be in a few years. I understand him saying no sometimes, but it seems odd if he turns you down all the time. You have to ask yourself if ten years from now you will be happy with him acting this way.
I've had friends who complain about the same thing. Their husbands are overweight and low on testosterone It can be changed... doctors can give injections of the big T. Loosing weight eating / better can help. Most of all, I think men need respect. If he feels like he is constantly a disappointment to you, then he will not want to be with you -- and the way you two are fighting, he is probably very insecure with the relationship. A man's greatest accomplishments pleasing his wife. Your not satisfied he is doing a poor job. You want more, he is wondering, "Why fail again?"
Hopefully, you can help him see how much he means to you, and that you are pleased with his company. (Hugs)
hey , before you do something drastic remember or just know , that being with someone is not just about one thing . In a relationship you need to always concider the other person even if they dont always concider you . Just think it's not a compitition , you know. what I mean is be very carefull that you dont get that ( if you dont , then I wont ) mentality cuz that were things can start to get off balance . Just think for a min. think about his daily rutine , every thing sometimes the answer to your problems is right under your nose and some times unknowingly people try and tell us thing in the way that they behave . so something is wrong with your dude . Step 1 service your self , you need to get the sex off your mind , hence service your self . Step 2 hopefully that worked and its not on your mind anymore , now you can try to see what happening with your dude . help your partner POEPLE remember your married , marrage is a partnership and if your partner is down pick him up . Step 3 remember getting back in the swing of things a slow process you need to do stuff to rekindle the flame . Try righting love notes , sending love text , do something nice follow up with a smile and an eego boost . My point is IF you LOVE than FIND a WAY ......
I strongly caution that suggesting a man loose weight or get injections would not solve this problem. Honestly in cases like this you need to withdraw and let him come to you. Right now you have put your cards on the table and stated what you want out of the relationship, and you do not have to feel selfish about that.
I do not necessarily agree that the husband feels like a failure and not appreciated, and if anything it sounds like he is making you feel that way. I would just not indulge his temper tantrums and consider if in the long term you will be happy with his attitude. Suggesting a man get injections and loose weight will definitely not go over well with a spouse that is already irritated about you wanting more sex in the relationship. Also, many overweight men are still interested in sex with their spouse, so I really do not think that is the problem in this situation.
Writing him love notes and putting in extra effort will not necessarily work either. Why go out of your way for someone that has made it clear your needs are not as important as his? Be a little distant and do your own thing for awhile, and let him see if he gets the message. If anyone should be writing a love note to you it should be him.
Thank you to everyone for all the helpful suggestions. I am going to have to try them!! Hey Cabingirl, would that be considered cheating? LOL
very interesting hub
Yea my husband had me pissed of last night. I told him I was going to tell everyone. LOL
Its really funny with the word sex involved, everyone comes to read. ;-)
Forget that he is your husband, date him again. Dress for him, flirt with him, seduce him. If there is anything to save, this is the only way I know of that have chances. :)
Hello, I have read your hub and all the comments. First of all, forget the toys and deal with your man or husband and FOCUS on your relationship. (Much better in bed).
There is a whole lot in your hub you are not revealing. You say everytime you try to communicate, it results in an argument. My question to you, is WHY? (Selfish is nasty word but it does come to mind).
Communication is the Life of a relationship. You both must be willing to listen to each other needs, desires, wants and feeling and come to some type of AGREEMENT.
If you both contend that each one of you is right, if you both won't bend or yield to the other's needs, then communication is useless. In other words, you both must find a happy medium.
(Don't talk just listen) both of you can't talk at the same time. When he is finished pouring out his heart, then respond to what he says. Yes, Respond! Respond to his needs! Find out what's on his mind! Find out what really is eating away at him and hendering your relationship.
Just maybe he doesn't appreciate all the attention you are showing to other males. (You did marry him) (Pour your attention on him) or else, you will end up cheating whether emotionally or physically, cheating is cheating.
Someone made a great comment about money issues. If a husband can't provide or satisfy his family's financial needs, he probably just doesn't feel like having sex. The poor guy has alot on his mind and (Never discuss problems in bed) That's a sure way to Kill Sex!
If two people are always fighting or arguing when they communicate, no wonder he won't touch you. No matter how "Great" you look!
You really want to see the "TIGER" come out of your MAN. (Listen to him, Agree with him, Support him, Work with him, Play with him, Flirt with him).
Then he will (WANT YOU), he will miss you, he can't wait to get home to rip the clothes right off your body!
Let him know, that he is the MAN and their is NO one else beside him! He will SHOW you and teach you a LESSON you will not quickly FORGET! (GREAT S-E-X)
As a wife, your JOB is to PLEASE HIM! --- As a husband, HIS JOB is to PLEASE YOU! --- IF He is pleasing You and You are pleasing Him --- Everyone is Happy & Everyone Wins!
Best Wishes! Emil C.
Well who could resist those eyes? I feel for you girl, just can't reach you from this here chair. No answers, sometimes you just need to work it out. Maybe it can't be, that's your decision. He's got someone else is my guess.
You sure are quite pretty. You sure he's not gay? You asked?
poor man, he just may need some T.L.C.
yes nazishnasim, I asked all the time when he makes me mad. LOL But ahhh i dont hink so!
Consider bringing a drop-dead gorgeous hunk in very very near proximity ... and then observe very very closly his 'wee-wee'' reaction to it *BINGO*
P.S. Very gorgeous men are 'it'.
I agree 100% with what emilclemons said above--if you really want to work things out, then I'd take some of those suggestions to heart.
It takes two...
Life is too short...don't waste it. I spent 12 years in a sexless marriage, my wife 13...not anymore! :) He needs to step it up...with help from you (there are two in this thing) and if he doesn't then you need to go with my saying...Always Marry Your Second Wife First! :)
You need to be the second wife. ;)
BTW if you want some suggestions on how to spice it up...I have TONS! Write us.
KT - I totally understand. Yet most of us are well aware this is only one side of the story, and sometimes only part of that one side. Take care in sharing these kinds of details in hubs, they have a way of coming around and kicking you in the behind! You have a lot of fans who care about the "you" we see in here, me included, but it's not 'real life' and we're not the real help a true friend or councelor is. I'm sending you a hug, for strength and wisdom.
Yes I agree with Candie. it's a very private matter, that a counsellor could help you both in, :)
A frank and open conversation will help determine what the issue is. Even if he does not wish to talk, that will be a clue unto itself.
I have just what I think you want! Check out my Hub on How To make Your Relationship Last!
Im almost to the point I dont even care about trying anymore!!
I feel badly for you. For the life of me, I can't see why he wouldn't. I would straight tell him that you are at your last straw and then ask him. Let him know its do or die, (so to speak)
Oh i have!! He does what he knows upsets me!!
I wonder how a man can keep himself away from a beautiful and sexy woman like you. Hard to believe! (Not that I don't). Some men do have a problem in 'performing' when it comes to having sex with more-than-a-perfect woman. Do you think that could be the problem?
No LOL thats funny. I am not a perfect woman!
Thanks for sharing ,but seems kinda personal and private to me , Id hate it if my partenar wrote that for strangers to read, just my opinion. Some great advice given above ,see a counselor , and both work on the issues.
You are absolutely gorgeous. I would find you irresistible if you were my wife. In his case, surely you can . . . how shall we shall . . . Mick Jagger said it: Start me up!
I agree with Eaglekiwi
A vibrating back massager can do wonders for relieving sexual tension. You may even consider using it on your husband a little to "raise" his interest.
when you make love at first try not prolonging it for so long. What tends to happen when you feel starved is when you finally do make love you want to go for a long time. Try doing some quickies and not expecting to much. Let him determine how long it takes for a while and I think you will find that that will make him want to do it more.
Hey hey hey. Don't be sad. You said that he cares if you text someone on the phone. Well this means that 1. he still cares about you because he still loves you, 2. he vainly does this. he just connot accept the possibility of you going with other man. Try to find the right moment to talk. Stop begig for love. Let him wish to give you this love. Be a little distant and don;t show him that you care. Don;t cheat on him. Just be a really woman and take care of youreslf. When you are out together and another man looks at you, you husband will se that what he have others wish for. When you have sex, try to satisfy him, gice him more eroticism and make him think that he will never find out this with other woman. Satisfy him but make it as you care only about yourselfe. If he finish first and tryes to go to sleep without satisfying you just get on him and give him another number. You can meanly say ..."hey i am not done, i am going to take my slice of pleasure so you better be a really bull." After that kiss him and tell him: "wow. i never knew you can do this". then let him go to sleep. Soon he will understand somethink. Don;t be stiffling when it caomes to love. If you believe that he has someone else and allready told him this, when you are togeter grab him and tell him: "well you should first satisfy me then go to your paramour". Make him think that there are a lot of man outhere waiting for your beauty and character. Show him that you can handle a life without him. And again try to talk to him. don;t give him reasons to believe you cheat on him but make him understand that what he has he will hardly find at another woman. try this. I am waiting for comments on results. ;)
selfconfidence is the key. trust me.
Great information. I will try your suggestions.
I read your article and you sound like some of my girlfriends. It has been my experience that if a man is not having sex with you, he is usually having sex with someone else. And while I don't condone cheating either, women tend to do so because they aren't getting the attention they desire at home. good luck with this.
Well after reading this i believe you two really loves each other but you are just not frank to each other. you have three children means he is not a gay. so, make him believe that he is everything to you and you loves all his small things.
The other thing may be cursing you is may be his unemployment. Don't worry he will rise if you will be together and i really want to see a beautiful pic of you with your hubby.
i really care for you and want you to be happy with your hubby.
I had my children before I met my husband
You look so sweet. I hope you have a found a way to make things better. Sometimes it just takes honest open communication with some compassion and understanding. Then perhaps you can move from there...something is on his mind and sex is all in our heads so....
Men, news flash!! It's a woman's world. Woman are no longer on the short end of the stick. Women can have most anything they desire from peace and quite to luxury living.
Women are designed to pick and chose men where men do not have this option. My advise is to play the field as long as you can and if you have one percent of doubt in either you or your woman... wait or go separate ways. We humans believe we can "change" our mates without changing ourselves. Are you two emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally capatible? This is why dating web sites are so popular. Like a mail order partner, however we are not honest with ourselves let alone with each other. People cheat for different reasons. The common denominator hear is lack of communicative openess. Women of the present are very polar from women of the 1970's. From Hollywood, Harlaquins,to local meet ups, we are urged to taste forbidden fruits with less repurcussions today. Friends With Benefits MILFS,GILFS on and on. Its a brave new world. Look at the female teachers and thier sexually active students. We are now so desensitized from shame, shock, ect... Women are only as human as the very men they criticize. I do not judge and we men are getting our pay back!
earnestshub says:
6 months ago
You might like to get his doctor to check his testosterone. Seriously if he is over forty it could be a problem, and even some younger men have the same problem.