Do You Have A Soul Mate?

What is a soul mate (or soulmate)? The term is used loosely, but what does it really mean? The dictionary defines a soul mate as "one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity; someone for whom you have a deep affinity." Some believe that a soul mate is a person with whom we have shared other lifetimes. There is even the related concept of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soul mate, the other half of one's soul, which all souls are driven to find and join.

Authors Richard Bach and Thomas Moore have provided us with the following descriptions of a soul mate:

• "A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." --Richard Bach
• "Someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life." --Thomas Moore

While the term "soul mate" is frequently used to refer to someone with whom we are romantically involved, a soul mate may be a friend, mentor, etc.

Despite the dating service ads that make it seem imperative to find your other half, do not become driven by a need to find a romantic soul mate. Frequently, I talk with people who have met a man or woman and, in a very short time, feel that they have made a special connection and have met their soul mate. Increasingly, this "soul mate" is someone they have encountered online, whom they have never physically met. I will say to you what I say to them - "calm down, slow down." Don't be so quick to think that you have some "cosmic connection" with another person. Use caution and common sense--give yourself a chance to get past first date good manners and learn what the other person is really like. The connection you think you have with this person could, indeed, be real (a wonderful thing!) or it could be little more than their recitation of the information that you have revealed to the world via a dating profile, My Space page, Yahoo forum, etc. or some sense of urgency you feel to connect with another person.

Instead of concentrating on finding a romantic soul mate, concentrate on being the best person you can be and good things will come to you. Spend some time on self-reflection - examine your qualities and your life. Do you like the person you see and the direction your life is taking? If not, you are the only person who can make the needed changes. Change is rarely easy, so begin taking small steps to become the person you want to be. What things make you happy and bring you joy? Get off the sofa, turn off the television, and do at least one of those things you talk about doing but keep putting off. Try to surround yourself with people who have positive attitudes and goals. Treat all you encounter with fairness and respect - treat others as you wish to be treated. Keep a journal - write down the things in your life that you are grateful for, as well as the things that your heart desires. Use creative visualization exercises to help attract positive people and situations. Finally, give some thought to the qualities you are looking for in another person and make a list of those qualities. These practical measures can help you be the person you want to be, have the life you want to have and, perhaps, lead you to your soul mate. May your journey be blessed.

Reference: Dictionary.com