Triggers in Recovery - People

Being triggered by being in a particlar environment can most of the time be clear cut. For example in my last article I discussed being back at the same school I had been in during some of my sickest days. However, another instance where triggers can be overwhelming involve other people - being triggered by something someone says or does - or even a particular shirt they are wearing. The tricky part about being triggered by a person is that he/she may actually be very safe. Again, a trigger is a person, place or object/visual that creates the feelings of a past event all over again as if being relived.

Facing triggers to people is not often addressed during recovery, but is a very real and sometimes scary situation. They often happen without warning leaving family, friends, and new acquaintences questioning. These instances do not only cause concern for others but also can create feelings in the recoverer that perhaps they should stay away from whoever or whatever triggered them. Good guys can look like bad guys in a matter of seconds. Learning to identify what the exact triggers are and what event they originated from might take time but the key is in continual reminders that "now is not the past all over again."

In 2003 I was in a verbally abusive relationship. Thousands have a similar story - many far more extreme - but my reaction was the same. I didn't realize how traumatizing it was until a few years later and worked through the different behaviors I subconciously used to avoid revisiting that time. By 2004 I began dedicated treatment for depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. By 2005 I thought I had freed myself from any trigger but my wonderful partner with whom I was beginning a wonderful romantic comedy taught me otherwise: he unknowingly triggered me early in our courting. This poor guy has worn some heavy filters but if it wasn't him it would be another partner. In my case it's not just a sound or visual but the act of loving and being loved. I was lucky in that I was able to discern between my thoughts and what I knew was logically true - that this person was not any of my past partner's.

The strength of a trigger and filter can be very stron and for some, lead them to start seeing a past offender face take place of whoever they may be talking to - hillucinations. This type is extreme but still can be worked through and dissolved away.

Identifying The Difference - What's a Trigger and What's a Red Flag?

Triggers can affect our perspectives and we can begin to see a positive person through filters from the past. Again I mention Cognitive Therapy. I've highlighted CBT in other articles as it's helped me identify the difference between the two: trigger and red flag. I'm still learning how to do this and it takes time. I absolutely do not want to repeat any past misjudgements in relationships but I also want to have a wonderful and amazing experience in relationship.

Tips and Resources

Learning how to retrain your automatic reactions is absolutely possible and the amount of triggers can be dissolved away. For anyone dealing with a trauma and who is in recovery, there are a lot of resources available and vary depending on the individual and the particular event which traumatized. They include (but aren't limited to):

Affirmation Therapy

EMDR and other rapid eye movement techniques,

hypnotherapy,

talk therapy, and more.

There are overhwhelming resources on the internet but I'd actually suggest finding a friend or family doctor who can refer a list of therapists to discuss the most appropriate teatment plan or support group.

One of the greatest truths during recovery is that it IS recovery. Triggers are only reminders of the past but no one can ever take away the fact that when on the path to recovery, you're on that path moving forward. It's impossible to be transported back only by a person, place or thing. But if left to grow the triggers and memories can become weeds that disguise the person trying to get well. If you know somone experiencing these things and have gotten something out of this article I hope it can lead you on your way to understanding enough to have patience with a person in recovery. Family and friends also need this same support.