I've loved Sanrio's Hello Kitty since I was a child. Perhaps it's because I've always had an affinity for cats, cartoon versions included. Or perhaps it was because she was created by Ikuko Shimizu in 1974, the same year I was born (sidenote: the first item to be produced was a small coin purse). But whatever my reasons were, I was drawn to her and collected my fair share of Hello Kitty dolls, stickers and pencils. I thought I'd go crazy when we were in her birth country, Japan, and we were pretty much surrounded by her. We even have a Hello Kitty plate in our current home (it was a gift from a friend, I swear).

Much as I like Kitty, though, I am beyond amazed by her ability to build an empire. There's Hello Kitty makeup, a Hello Kitty credit card, Hello Kitty bedding, Hello Kitty, um, adult products -- and the list keeps growing. She's everything that all of those marketing-hungry celebs like JLo or Jessica Simpson want to be: she's been consistently adored by the masses for decades and no matter what products Kitty sells, whether it be perfume or candy, it's gold. And you never see her in the tabloids. Well, except for that one time that she and the Little Twin Stars started to... well, never mind.

Still, as great as Kitty is, I sometimes have to question where the brainstorm came for certain products. Like the Hello Kitty toaster that burns your bread into a Kitty patten? Oookay. Or the Hello Kitty toilet paper? WTF? Below I've listed some of her more, uh, shall we say, interesting offerings. You be the judge as to whether or not Kitty has lost her mind...

What can I say about the Hello Kitty credit card? It's cute -- and very, very pink. I'll admit, I'm tempted to get one, but I'd probably be afraid to whip this thing out the next time I'm buying groceries or something. I'd also worry that it might draw too much attention, which isn't really something you want to do when it comes to anything involving money -- even if Hello Kitty's likeness is plastered on it.

Here comes the bride, all dressed in .... yikes. I don't know what's more frightening about these poofy, puffy, over-the-top wedding dresses that look more like Scarlett O'Hara on acid than Hello Kitty: the fact that they exist in the first place or the fact that they're so popular that several different versions of them exist. But some brides indeed wear them, and if you really want, you can arrange to have a full-out Hello Kitty wedding. And if you want to take things a step further, you can have the reception at Sanrio Puroland, the theme park that's just outside of Tokyo -- and has about twice the cuteness and three times the freakiness of Disney. But if you can stand having that much Kitty in your life, she and her male counterpart, Dear Daniel -- yes, that's his name, even though he's a cat, too -- will walk you down the aisle. For a truly authentic touch, go for a catnip bouquet.

I don't think I would ever actually use this toilet paper. For one thing, I'm not sure how safe it is to have psychedelic-colored dyes come in contact with your skin, especially on a very sensitive part of the body. Also, it just seems insulting to Kitty to use her image for well, that. But if you want to impress your guests or find an extremely creative way to TP someone's house during Halloween, here you go. And yes, there is a Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser available.

Okay, I'm of two minds about his Hello Kitty gun. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it's a real weapon or just a toy one. But assuming it's the real deal, let's just say that if someone came at me with that thing, I'd probably have hope that he or she is harmless; after all, who makes a threatening statement with a pink rifle? On the other hand, a person who owns this thing might be so demented that I'd be in serious trouble. Either way, it's a creepy item.

You know how some people suggest that you envision your audience in their underwear in order to deal with stage fright? I suppose another version of this would be to imagine your enemies in Hello Kitty attire. Seriously, think of Darth Vader leading his storm troopers out to fight Luke and Yoda and the gang -- only they're in Kitty uniforms. Suddenly, they're not as threatening, right? I mean, compared to them, the Ewoks would look like prize fighters. Then again, if you gave the troopers the aformentioned guns... hmm. I wonder if Kitty also makes special pink lightsabers?

I'll admit it: these kitchen items are adorable. But realistically speaking, how many adults have kitchens that are designed so a Kitty appliance would look appropriate? These are the types of items where you buy them on impulse or get as a gift from some long-lost aunt. You then put them out, play with them and think they're cute for a while ... until it's time to have friends over for a fancy dinner party, which is when you put them away. And never take them out again. As I'm saying this, though, that toaster is beginning to speak to me. I'm thinking it might be cool if I had a Kitty party with lots of different breads and jams, and other spreads like Nutella, and then each guest could fill the Kitty-shape on the bread with whichever filling he chooses .... oh, OK, I get it. I totally get these products. They're not THAT weird, alright? Now shut up and let me get on with my critique.

I actually really like this motorcycle. Many bikes have tripped-out designs on them, anyway, so this isn't that odd. But where it goes from cool to creepy is when the rider also wears a Hello Kitty helmet, a Hello Kitty biker outfit and puts a Hello Kitty border around the license plate (all of which exist). At that point, you've gone from cute and eccentric to cloyingly sweet, dang that pink is buring my eyes, territory.  So tread carefully, my fellow Kitty lovers -- and remember that a little cat goes a long way.