I, like most of you hubbers, have been a "writer" ever since I could push a pencil. I've mostly written poetry, but I've taken a couple of writing classes (high school), and aced College English. I've been complimented more times than I can remember, about my "talent". I was teacher's pet in College English. I was praised repeatedly by my Junior High and High School English teachers (and that was a rarity because I was not an "A" student and I certainly didn't care what most of my teachers thought). I've had family, friends, two different judges, and my own attorney, give many kudos for my writing ability. Let me just say that I've been an at-home-mom for 12 years and totally out of the workforce. I am far from a professional or even college-educated (took a couple of college courses), but intelligent nonetheless. My divorce attorney (thank God I never had to get divorced) actually told me, after I sent him 72 hand-written pages of testimony/affadavits for an upcoming court date, that he would actually have to "dumb it down", referring to my affadavit that would be sent to the court. He said the judge would not believe that I wrote it. My attorney actually thought that the judge would think HE (the attorney), wrote the affadavits!! Isn't that crazy?

I actually believe in myself as a writer (for the most part). I didn't believe the compliments for many years. Please know this; I know that I am far from a literary genius. I can see what my talents are. But I do believe that I have the writing "gene", and I should be writing for a living.

I've been struggling with myself, for several years, over what I can do for a living, to help support my three children (with my husband of 12 years). I want my children to have more, I want to have more, I want my husband to have more. But here's the kicker, I have several anxiety disorders and a social phobia. Oddly I was diagnosed by two different docs, from different Centers, at the same time. Luckily I do not suffer any worse fate, as my mother and sister who live with bipolar. But a social phobia does not allow a person to comfortably socialize and go out into the world as many people do on a normal basis. I can't just go out and get a job because that's my "duty". It doesn't work that way. My brain tells me that "life will go on whether I play along or not, I can't handle dealing with people right now". So I do not.

In my search for the "perfect" career, I remembered that I do have a writing talent. But what can I do with it? What do I write about? I was not a good student, I do not have one subject (that I can think of) that I could write about from beginning to end, without resource. I feel stupid. I feel like I have nothing to provide to the world, that only I could provide. I don't feel the individuality that I should feel as a writer. In my opinion.

So, what does a person write about when they're out of ideas? How do you learn and re-teach without plagiarism? How can I share my talent (whether it be for money or not) if I don't know what to write about?

I love to write and I can't imagine life without writing, but poetry writing is not enough for me. I need more. I feel like I need to write a book, which I will do very soon (or begin to). But until then, please other writers out there, I could use your help on this subject!

There are so many of you hubbers out there that I idolize and look up to. I hope to be one of you someday. I want to write, and I want to help others, I'm just needing a little friendly push in the right direction!

Thanks to Hub Pages and all of you Hubbers! Keep on writin':)