Decision to get a divorce is always a difficult one. You may have been thinking about it for some time now, but how do you know when to get a divorce? Of course, there are situations where you need to get out of the marriage as fast as possible, for example, if you or your children are in immediate danger due to physical abuse, if there is drug abuse, sexual abuse or other criminal activity. Usually, however, there is no simple answer to this question. What is unbearable for one person may be acceptable for another.

A couple of months ago a friend of mine moved out of his house, away from his wife and teenage son, and has been debating whether or not to get a divorce. There is really nothing wrong with his marriage, except he does not feel passionate about his wife any more, and feels like he would like to move on, but is not really sure whether it is the right decision. He also feels guilty about leaving his son.

So the question is: when is it time to get a divorce?

Here is a piece of advice I read recently that I think is wise for both men and women who are considering getting a divorce for reason other than domestic violence, drug abuse, or any other abnormal situation like that; so if getting a divorce is a consideration for you - then before you go that route...

Give it at least one more year.

I am serious.

If you are having any shred of doubt, you should give it another try.

Try for at least one year!

And this means to REALLY try. It's easy to give up and call it quits. There is always that option. But once you fill out those papers and set the legal process in motion, there may be no turning back. Once the divorce is final, it's over. Your life will be changed forever. And if you have children, their life will change forever too.

Maybe you are thinking about a divorce because you lost your passion for your wife or husband. Perhaps he or she had an affair and you just found out. Perhaps you are the one having an affair.  Maybe he is irresponsible, she hurts your feelings, or you fight all the time.

Just give it another try. Talk to each other. Try therapy. Bring back good memories. Sometimes when you hit the bottom, things can improve.

If you divorce prematurely, the next year or five years from now you may be thinking "what if I did this, what if I tried that...", You may be having second thoughts about your decision. Every time you see your kids you may feel guilty. If you want to end your marriage, you need to be convinced DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything in your powers to make it work.This knowledge will make it easier for you to move on with your life and into another relationship.

So here you go, here is my answer. "When is it time to stop trying and break up?" The answer is: one year after you think you're done. If after one year of trying everything in your power to make your marriage work you're still unhappy, then you should consider ending your marriage.

Should we wait with the divorce until the children are older?

I do not believe in staying in a bad marriage solely for the sake of the children. There are many of studies about the effect of divorce on children, but what is usually not mentioned by these studies is the effect on children of living in a home where parents fight all the time, are cruel to one another or just unhappy. If you are unhappy and miserable, it is hard to bring up your children to be happy, and it's difficult to be a good parent.

Children are very important, but sometimes parents need to think about themselves too. Sometimes a man or a woman needs to do what is right for them and their life, while trying their best to to make it as easy for your kids as you can.