The Seattle Seahawks are closing in on a 150 year old record for most injuries ever on a NFL or any other sports team. With 66 out of 65 possible players out for at least three more weeks (that's not a typo), they need only two more players to show up on the injured list to best the 150 year old record set by the Georgia Rebels of the now defunct NFL (Negro Free League).

The Rebels set the record when 8 cannon balls from General William Sherman's Yankee army leveled the entire stadium, wounding 24 players, 3 cheerleaders, one drama queen and killing 45 more players outright including star quarterback and plantation owner, Seth "Whitey" Davis; cousin of the other Davis guy who actually ran the confederacy back then.

Upon hearing of the possible record setting pace the Seahawks are on, Walter Jones, Pro Bowl Left Tackle was quoted as saying, "I don't care. I'm still getting paid."

The Seahawks injury woes continued last Sunday when 46 FANS were injured by putting their feet through their their big screen TV's after watching Seneca Wallace run for his life and throw a near record number of incompletions. One fan said, "Of all the players injured, why can't one of them be HIM?" Other NFL insiders state that Wallace is possibly the only man alive who could overthrow the Iranian Government,

General Manger Artie Flimflinger states that he is considering all offers for absolutely anybody on the team and is even contemplating trading absolutely everyone of the Seahawks for punter George Blanda and a 7th round draft pick in 2010. In a strange twist of fate, the 7th round draft pick for the Seahawks in 2010 is now injured.

Next week, the 'Hawks will start Red Grange at QB and add 4 cheerleaders on defense. Head coach Jim Mora Jr was quoted after last week's game as saying, "Playoffs? You want to talk about playoffs? Playoffs??!!" He then keeled over in an epilectic seizure and was injured. Filling in for the injured coach Mora will be KJR morning sports jock, Mitch Levey, who was quoted as saying, "I always knew that someday I'd get my chance, I was just hoping it would be with the Dolphins."

That rich guy from Portland who owns the team says that they are speculating whether to move the Seahawks into the Professional Women's Football League next year in order to be able to compete on a more level playing field or simply re-name the team the Seattle Sissies, after unveiling their new mascot, the 12th pansy ass girlie man.

Stay tuned next week for even more injuries; on the Seahawks "Road to the Superbowl".