Congrats! You've found the work jokes hub! You can expect to read some of the funniest work-related jokes here.
You're probably one of the many people that does not like their job, or flat out hates it. So, what's better than a little bit of humor to make the son shine just a little bit brigther?

At my old (crappy) job I was that guy that does a round of the department floor telling everyone a joke, just to get them off to a good start. So, check out the jokes and 'bring a joke to work' tomorrow and cheer some people up!

Also, to all you lawyers, we love you, but since you're making so much money, I'm sure you don't mind being the butt of many work related jokes, right? :)

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day's work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:

"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet.
Credits in the column toward the window."

The F.B.I. are hiring new people. Jim goes to the first and they say to him:
"Take this gun, go in that room and kill your wife."
"No way!" And he leaves.

Next is Bill. He takes the gun goes in the room and gets out and says:
"My wife is more important that this job, and leaves."

The last one is Tim. He takes the gun, goes inside and after 2 minutes some shoot guns, some slamming and screams come from the room. After a while the man gets out the room with blood all over and says:
"Who is the idiot that gave me a gun with fake bullets? I had to kill her with the chair..."

"If you're going to work here young man," said the boss, "one of the two things you must know is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm."
"Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?"
"Oh, yes, sir!" responded the young man.
"And the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss...

The CEO's Envelopes - 09/28/2009

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes: #1, #2 and #3.

"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.

The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

Morris, the new CEO, called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press – and Wall Street – responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.

The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, "Prepare three envelopes..."

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

A truck driver was driving on a busy highway. Down the road, a sign reads, "low bridge ahead." Before the truck driver realizes it, the bridge is right ahead of him. Slamming his brakes, he cannot prevent his truck from sliding under the bridge and he gets hopelessly stuck. Cars are backed up on the highway for miles

Eventually, a police car shows up. The cop steps out of his car, walks around the truck and comes up to the driver and while putting his hands in his hip he says "Got your truck stuck, huh?"

Seemingly annoyed with the whole situation, the truck driver responds, "No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas"

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"

A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says, "Son, how much do you make a day?"

The guy replies, "150 dollars."

The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back.

A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks the owner, "Have you seen the UPS driver?? I asked him to wait here for me!"

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.

The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year now. You started off in the mail room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-president. Now, it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?"

"Thanks Dad!" said the employee :)

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"

The clerk smiled and said ...

"Rain."