Lonliness can be defined as :affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
We have all experienced that feeling at one time or another in our lifes.Some more than others.Loneliness is no respecter of persons.Loneliness strikes the young as well as the old.The rich as well as the poor.The famous as well as the unknown.
Loneliness is an inevitable fact of human existence.Behind much of the suffering of mankind lies the feeling of loneliness.There is little doubt that millions of people are crying on the inside,and some even on the outside because of lonliness.
Loneliness has been described as the most devastating malady of this age.
Yes,there are times we all need some alone time.I am not writing about those times but rather those depressing times when we feel like an owl all alone in the wilderness.It just seems like nobody gives a hoot!
The list goes on and on.And oh yeah.All the books written about the subject.How many movies have as there theme lonliness?
Some of my favorite TV shows have one thing in common.
At least one main character who displays some signs of being lonely.Loneliness strikes a chord that is deep in the hearts of so many people.
I just checked my media player song list and gave up couting after a hundred the number of songs dealing with lonliness.
Those baby boomers like myself will never forget the classic 70 rock hits that helped many of us thru our lonely and often akward teenager years."I will leave country music alone for now.But you do know what happens if you play a country tune backwards, don't ya? You get back your old hunting dog,truck,boat,house,children,wife,etc.OK..Bad joke!
But those are the songs that reach deep down in our souls and grip us often in our darkest hours.
Lonliness speaks of isolation.Lonesomeness if you please.And you don't have to be alone to be lonesome.Just look at the young lad in the schoolyard during recess.Surrounded by boys and girls laughing and playing,yet he feels so alone.Maybe he just doesn't fit in.
Many performers are struck by lonliness and lonesomeness.Suck lonliness often leads to suicide or accidental overdoses.
Someone has said that the worstkind of loneliness is that of being lonely when you are not alone.
There is that awful feeling of being cut off,unloved,uncared-for,and at times even unnecessary.
Without getting personal,I will tell you that the feeling of being unnecessary when once you seemed so necessary.You know what I mean.It seemed the world depended upon me (or at least my little corner of it).And now,it seems no-one needs me.
What am I still doing here?
Lonliness is insulation.We live in an insulated world.We rush home form work to sit in front of the TV or communicate with the world thru the internet.Yet,we feel so all alone.Oh I know.I should go for a walk with the dogs.Enjoy a summer evening.Maybe join a support group for folks afflicted with some of my same illnesses.
Instead,the TV is on even though the sound is muted.Thank God for closed captioning!My media player is bastiong out one of the almost 9000 songs I have collected and saved,And over in the corner,I hear the Pug snoring.Yet,I might as well be sitting in silence.Yes.I have isolated and insulated myself from this crazy world.
Insulated my heart against ever being abused or hurt again.
Oh well.I am catching up on all the reruns of my favorite shows.
Nice thing about dementia is that you can watch a rerun for the 5th time and still forget the ending.
Hows that for looking on the bright side!
Lonliness can lead to isolation (humming the words of a Phil Collins tune as I type this).
Lonliness can lead to insulation.Hiding behind locked doors as the world goes merrily by.
And lonliness can lead to injury.
The injury of silence.The kids long gone.The spouse too.A phone that never rings.Some of you know the story well!
Billions of dollars are spent annually dealing with the symptons of lonliness.
The bars,the nightclubs all filled to capacity.The dating sites and so called service.The 900 mumbers.On and on the list goes.
And it is growing larger each day.Like a giant cancer eating away our society.
Have you noticed in these beer advertisements that people are never drinking by themselves. They are always drinking with someone else. Did you know those ads are really not selling alcohol, they are selling friendship!
The injury of silence.The injury of rejection.Broken relationships and broken hearts.The injury of loss.Loss of a loved one.Loss of health,wealth,or any number of other things we cherish.
And some are just lonely because they want to be.They are the loners.Oh another song is playing in my mind again.Soemthing about "have you heard about the lonesome loser?"
Loneliness can do great physical damage. Not long ago a large number of patients who had undergone heart attacks were surveyed, and it was found that 50% of them were feeling depressed and lonely when their heart attacks occurred.
It was also estimated that
80% of those who sought psychiatric help came primarily because of feelings associated with loneliness. Oftentimes people with suicidal tendencies are simply fighting what they feel is a losing battle with the monster of loneliness.
So,can we learn from lonliness?Heck if I know.I once had all the answers.Now all I have are questions.
I guess we can get to the root of loneliness.
Sorrow,self-esteem,success(it's lonely at the top),society(we are all just another number on someone's computer list).
One thing for sure.People, everyday and every way, are trying all that they can to curb and to cure their loneliness.
Sad thing is.Often the very things we grab to deafeat loneliness, only leave us more lonesome than before.
I wish you well in your dealings with this monster called loneliness.As for me? Well.I have another rerun of CSI Miami to watch for at least the 6th time.Being alone and lonely ain't all that bad.The Chow is at my feet sleeping and the Pug just woke up.Oh and the old granny cat is snoozing away in the rocking chair.
Stay happy my friend!