Introduction - Let me tell you a story, a story of a guy, a smart guy who got into the electronics and white ware retail business because he was sick of being ripped off, bullied, ignored or simply misled by frustrating and incompetent sales people. I am that guy who dumped a trade, wearing overalls and concrete under the fingernails for a white collar job wearing a suit and tie, I'm in my 30's and have 3 kids with another on the way. I do, in fact enjoy my job I'm very good at it and have an exceptional reputation for my product knowledge and excellent customer service. But unfortunately I now realise after 5 years why those people in the retail industry which I came up against were so frustrating , it was because of all you consumers out there, because they were frustrated at you. I am here to give you an honest insiders look at the retail industry and to tell you all the little things that the "consumer people" don't tell you or are to stupid to find out because they only care for the "consumers" point of view.

Faulty Products - Anybody can read the consumers guarantees act, and quote me phrases about a product that if being fixed has to be away for a reasonable time. What you have to realise is that you may think that that time is 2-4 days, but the manufacturer thinks 2-4 months. Well if you don't like it........then tough!! Because you see and this may amaze you....the world does NOT revolve around you.....and you are NOT the only person with a faulty product. And if you really think that shouting at the retailer and banging your fists on the counter and demanding to see the manager is really going to help you....then you are sorely mistaken, because the fact is that the manager really couldn't give a rats arse about you, it is the salesman that does the ringing around, the salesman who fights for you against the manufacturer or importer. And as amazing as this sounds most salesmenare actually on your side.........until you start shouting at them and making their already crappy day just that little bit crappier (thank you for that by the way). Oh and while we're talking about faulting products, please, for the love of god, if a product faults take it back to where you bought it. It's extremely frustrating to have to do someone elses work for them. And if you had the notion to shop elsewhere there take your crappy product elsewhere and let me service "MY" customers who deserve to be served. Finally in this section, if you want any half decent service please at least clean up your crappy product before returning it to us, we really don't appreciate ear wax stuck to the side of a cordless phone we have to send back because you're to backwards to work out that you need to turn down the volume to stop it echoing.

Extended Warranties - These, regardless of what the morons of the consumer guide say, are in fact very very useful. But it doesn't mean you automatically get a new camera or cellphone or tv or stereo. Especially when techs rip it apart and find a sticky brown substance on the electrical circuit board mmmmmmm let me see could this be coke!!! yes I think so. Please consumers, we in the retail industry are NOT as stupid as you think. This is considered a fault of the user and will NOT be covered under manufactures warranty let alone an extended warranty. These warranties are not an insurance, manufacturers cannot insure themselves against idiots, well not yet anyway. In my experience 8 out of 10 things sent away under warranty have in fact been fixed under warranty. Also if the retailer asks you for a minimum inspection fee please don't be offended, this is to protect the retailer from filthy cheating dishonest miscreants, oh yes it does happen " oh but Mr salesman I wouldn't do that, I'll pay the minimum fee if it turns out that the product isn't covered because of consumer misuse" yea blimin right you will. The things people tell us, you wouldn't believe, they look us straight in the eye and tell us that they didn't drop into water or onto the ground or crush or snap the product, it just started doing it. Listen you morons.......when the repairers take the product apart the product will tell them a story, whether little johnny poked a pin into it or dad dropped it into a cup of tea, quickly wiped it off and put in the hot water cupboard for 4 days, whether your daughter accidentally dropped it off the upstairs deck onto a concrete driveway. Most salesmen for god-sakecan work this out and, if you're not annoying them to much will kindly point this out to you and tell you that this probably won't be covered by warranty. At times if you find an on to it enough salesman they will probably be able to simply fix it by blowing out some dust or turning the volume down or rebooting your computer. Please realise that some of these salesmen are on commission and whilst you waste their valuble time with stuff you could probably do yourself, if you could be bothered to read the manual, they are losing sales to other sales people who are in fact to backward to help you. So the ones who do in fact show kindness and integrity by helping you are in fact losing money......so please show some respect!!! "Ahhhhhh but they get paid to do that though" I hear you say. No is my answer they are sales people, hired to sell you stuff, they are NOT technicians. The sales people who help you in this way are great people with more integrity than most, and have enough nounce and technical expertise to try and save you a little money......so again.......please show some respect.

Fair Go - Please people this is just an entertainment show, please don't throw this in our face if your electric toothbrush suddenly starts making a funny sound ( you probably shouldn't have used it in the shower)- the fair go people just care if something makes a good story, and do insanly huge amounts of research before they even bring their stories to the producers. Your stupid...yes stupid complaint that the retailer wouldn't replace your $5000 tv straight away because there were wavy lines across the picture, will not even get a look in because as the salesman tried to tell you that it was in fact your atrociously old and crappy 35 year old aerial that was causing this problem. These silly complaints don't even make it past the first reading of letters, because they go into the stupid ignorant consumer bin. No no no Kevin Milne does not even get bother with these stupid little things.

Pricing - Wow well where do I start here, do I talk about how it is the consumers fault that products aren't sturdy as they used to be or do I talk about how the company who offers the lowest price probably offer the lowest service as well. How is this possible you ask, how is this MY fault well let me explain. It starts - Mr A is looking for a TV so he goes to shop X and gets a price then he goes to shop Y & Z, shop Y has the best price regardless of the knowledge or service of the sales people so purchases it from this store. Then Manufacturer L does a study and realises that their sales are down and that manufacturer M & N are selling a similar product for less to store Y which which shop X & Z are upset about so take their factories over seas and use cheaper labour and less skilled workers. Now this product gets loaded onto a truck by a guy who is rushing to make the quota, has to get driven further from the factory to the harbour in a country with terrible roads, loaded onto a boat by a crane driver who doesn't care what is in the box and gets paid by the crate. This boat then docks in New Zealand and goes through our extremely rigid safety inspections. Goes to the warehouse, where at least now they know what they're moving and finally stored ready to be driven to your local retail shop. And you people wonder why "eeeeew they don't make things like they used to young man" Just remember you really to get what you pay for, if something really is to good to be true, it isn't. Cheaper product = cheaper components = cheaper labour = less skilled workers. You really don't need to be a mathematician to work this one out!

Cash Prices - If you have a chance to ask for a cash price good on you remember cash/cheque or eftpos the retailer has to pay a percentage on your credit card, but be warned certain things can be built into the standard retail, for example delivery and/or installation. Interest free terms. Please don't ask for a cash price and then just expect it to be delivered and installed on top of that price unless offered, that's just really rude and puts the sales person in a crappy mood and will not really want to help you further except to close the deal and take your money. We had a little old lady come in and asked about faxes one of my colleagues showed her the range and in this case opted for cheapest piece of crap that we had at $99 on special, fine. "When can I expect that to be delivered and installed please", my colleague looked at her dumbfounded. And approached me to ask that even though she already knew the answer "absolutly not, how rude" They customer was genuinely shocked that we wouldn't do this for her. We tried to explain why, which is when the customer went from 60 years old to 6. "Well I'll go to the city shops they have it there for the same price neeeee neeeee neeee"
My colleague explained that at the city store they would charge her at least $60 to come out and install plus about $15 in gas for her to get there. The silly old bat still couldn't quite understand what we were saying. And left not entirely upset, but confused. You have to realise consumers that we are there to help you, but this is a business and we are here to make money so please get of the grass and try to walk down reality street thank you.

Model Changes -  This is a great piece of advice, you basically need to ask salesman if they've heard of any model changes happening or ferrit around on the internet then when these products are just about to change over, go in store for the sales as this is when you will get the real savings especially in the stores who don't have a larger brother store as these smaller stores really need to get rid of old stock to make room for the new stuff. 

 Ok now we all know that models change if this happens to you and the new model turns out to be the same price......ish.  Don't come back in store and ask for a refund or to swap to the new one.  We didn't aim for this to happen as some times on some things we don't know when the change over will happen. You will always be remembered as "that" person and none of the staff will want to deal with you again.

If you are doing a price comparison between stores make sure you triple check model numbers so you don't get lumbered with a product you don't want

Customer Courtesy- OK imagine you have bought your product and your stoked, delivery time has been arranged and you wait for your new plasma TV to arrive with anticipation. But nobody shows up, 10-15 mins goes by then another 15 mins, nobody has rung you or anything. How frustrated and annoyed would you feel, also angry at the fact that you spent the time waiting........GOOD!!! This happens to us all the time, the customer asks " yea great if you could set that audio system up I'll be in tomorrow to listen" we've got no reason not to believe you, but the day goes by and nothing.......the following day also goes by and nothing not even a phone call. We don't sit around all day on our backsides you know. This is soooo rude and if you do finally decide to grace us with your all magnificent presence, we're really not in the selling mood for you and you'll probably miss out on the free interconnect leads or upgraded speaker cabling we would have thrown in for free if you'd simply given us a ring.

Try to remember the salesman`s name if you can, any salesman worth his salt will give you a card with his name on it, this is a good idea for a few reasons. 1. It will give you that connection with the salesman and he'll instantly remember (or should do) what you were talking about. 2. It will make him feel great and special that you actually kept his card and this will open him up not only to more negotiating but to even throwing in free stuff, but remember not to ask for free stuff as this is arrogant and will put you right back to square 1.

If for some reason the staff don't remember your name or in fact what you were talking about 2 weeks ago don't get offended as staff deal with hundreds of people every couple of days (even smaller stores) so give them some slack. And if you do shop heaps in this store again don't be offended if they don't know who you are, you may in fact get a salesperson who has never dealt with you before.

Try and remember these tips because even though you think we are here to serve you and bow and scrape, we can treat you many different ways and you'll never know the difference, you can genuinely get a fantastic deal an average one or simply no deal at all because of the way you treat the sales person. You see bartering and bargaining is not part of our culture regardless of what fair go says, this is not china or India!