" I can hear you! " Flash Fiction

Janie lay motionless in the critical care unit at the local hospital. Two weeks had passed since she'd tripped and fell down her basement stairs. Her husband, Artie found her lying on the concrete floor when he returned from work on that fateful, Friday evening.

Blood was oozing out of both ears. She was unconscious, unresponsive to touch or verbal stimuli.

Artie spent every waking moment by her bedside, touching and talking to her, praying she would respond and open her eye's.

The heart monitor signaled when she was having difficulty breathing, and it was evident that each day her breathing became more labored.

Dr. Johnson entered the room when he heard the monitor beeping. He looked at Arnie and said, " We must think about putting your wife on life-support. It is up to you. You can see she needs help breathing. " Artie agreed, but he thought, " Would Janie want this? "

Although she couldn't speak or open her eye's, she heard every word spoken.

Her mind was crying out, " Please let me go. I'm in excruciating pain. She prayed, " Please God take me home. I'm ready. "

The heart monitor started beeping louder. Instead of a flat line words appeared in bold letters, " I love you Artie. My spirit will always be near you until we meet again. I am no longer in pain! "

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Comments 34 comments

manatita44 profile image

manatita44 8 months ago from london

Wow! Like a Scifi ending. Awesome, Ruby. I like it! 'Bad!' Is that what the kids used to say?. Ha ha. Perhaps they have moved on. A great story, nice Flash and excellent ending! Happy Easter!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 8 months ago from Shelton

somehow she expressed her wishes.. what a wonderful piece of flash fiction Always... awesome


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Manatita, Bad to the bone! Hee. So glad you liked this story and the scifi ending. Happy Easter my friend...


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I am sitting here just saying to myself "I wish I could do that". This is truly excellent. So much in so little. Thank you for bringing your art into my world Ruby.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Frank, a little bit far-out, but with our modern technology anything is possible. Thank you for the awesome comment....


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Eric, your comment is amazing! Thank you. Eric you can write stories, anyone who can write about God and brotherly love can write a story, Just use an experience you've dealt with and write about it. I used a tad of my experience working in critical care and a lot of fiction for this piece. I'll be waiting for your story.....


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Hugs and kisses. I just got home from a procedure. Sure am glad all the monitors said "doing good". So this hit me at home.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hallelujah! You are fighting that battle and winning. I'm so glad that God still heals and gives Doctors the knowledge to know what medicine is needed. That monitor is a good Dude. Hee...


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 8 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Screw lymphoma. We shall overcome.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Yea!!!!!Lymphoma ain't got a chance, Be gone, scat!!!!!


DDE profile image

DDE 8 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

You shared an excellent hub! Flash fiction is different!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello DDE, flash fiction is different but a lot of fun to write. Thank you for coming by to read this far-out piece..


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 8 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Ruby. That was such a clever, Twilight Zone, ending. Well done.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 8 months ago from United States

Gosh! I was in tears reading this.

My dad was at this junction, and we all said adios in our own ways.

Wishing Arnie peace!

Lovely piece, Ruby and this song etched the story in silver lining!


Tammy 8 months ago

Just read, like all your story's it was great!


Venkatachari M profile image

Venkatachari M 8 months ago from Hyderabad, India

This story reminds my wife's story. Very painful story with an abrupt ending.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 8 months ago from Escondido, CA

Thank you for sharing this flash fiction story always exploring. It is kinda' magical and mystical for me to see it today. It has opened my heart to a friend who has been in that kind of predicament for five weeks now. This story has opened my heart to her and also to the person who is the patient. He tore his aorta. Surgery, complications, stroke, complications, and still goes on. She has power of durable attorney, he signed a DNR, but no specifics for it for life saving measures. Bottom line has been interpreting the DNR vs. what is life saving with his many complications.

All I can say is being single in my sixties I have a lot of soul searching to do regard family with who to appoint DPO . . . while know sooner or later I should do it . . . and spell it out.

BTW . . . all prayer are welcome for those two friends still enduring those circumstances today


shprd74 profile image

shprd74 8 months ago from Bangalore

Love is what remain till the end. We normal people feel pain for people in such situations, but the one who is in that situation probably has none. A small incident and my analysis on excruciating pain.

A guy in Bangalore whose hips were crushed and dismantled in an accident, could still speak to people on road and told that he wishes to donate his eyes while he layed on the road with pool of blood while ambulance came.

I narrated this incident because I think pain after it reaches its peak becomes numbness. Body does not carry-on the pain to the brain after that. The boys brain must have been numbed. How could he even speak and not be unconscious.?

The release of life is probably the way the body relaxes. I suppose science still has no answer on whether people are feeling it before their bodies gives up the fight.

- hari


billybuc profile image

billybuc 8 months ago from Olympia, WA

Whoa! That was a totally cool ending, Ruby! You're good at this flash fiction stuff. :)

Happy Easter!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Mike: Twilight Zone is a perfect critique for this far-out piece. I just let my imagination run amuck. Thank you for the clever comment...


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Ruchira. I have seen what you described a few times and I know it was painful for you and your family. God bless. I'm glad you like the song. I love it too. Thank you..


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

HelloTammy: Thank you for liking my stories. You are a dear friend..


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 8 months ago from Nibiru

For a minute there i thought you and frank atanacio had married. Good Flash Fiction


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello VenKatachari. I am so sorry you had to deal with this with your wife. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. Thank you for being a faithful friend...


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello tsmog. I know removing anyone from life support is heartbreaking, having clear instructions as to what you want is so important. It takes the burden from the family. I have mine and carry it in my purse. Blessings to you and your friends who are having to make this most difficult decision. Thank you..


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello hari: I have read so many articles on near death experiences. What they say is, death is a release of some sort and a feeling of utopia replaces the pain. The person you spoke about was a caring soul, thinking of donating his organs while alive and at a critical time. Thank you for adding to my story....


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Bill: I'm so pleased that you like my flash fiction. I love writing a twist ending. Thank you much...


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Clive, you continue to crack me up with your off-the-cuff comments. I'm not sure, but I think Frank is already taken. Hee...Thank you...


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 8 months ago

Oh Ruby my gem of a friend

When on monitor those words he read

He knew that she had gone on ahead

To meet our Maker

No other words need be said

*

*

This is amazing

Blessings and hugs and happy Easter


always exploring profile image

always exploring 8 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Shyron,

My pearl of a friend

On you I can always depend

You read whatever I write

Even when I wander and want to fight

Politics, poetry, stories galore

You always comment, who could ask for more?

Blessings and hugs my friend.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 7 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

Oh Ruby, this is beautiful! And very clever. :-) I think that you and Frank are experts with flash fiction.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 7 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hello Genna, I'm thrilled that you like my flash fiction. It's a new adventure for me. Frank and Cam were excellent teachers. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my hubs. I know how busy you are..Hugs.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 7 months ago from Central Florida

Ruby, the ending came as quite a surprise, but a very cool one. I can imagine Artie feeling a bit sad that he didn't have the chance to say goodbye, but joyful that his wife was able to communicate with him to put his mind and heart at peace.

Beautiful story, Ruby.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 7 months ago from Southern Illinois Author

Hi Shauna, I'm happy you were surprised at the ending. That's what I was hoping for. Thanks for the beautiful story comment. I appreciate you!

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