50 Brilliant Facts (I just made up)

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  1. The organisation of Bees roughly mimics that of the Swedish Government.
  2. Cats do not have 9 lives. They have only 6.
  3. Horses have 12 Horsepower. Cats have 0.5 Horsepower.
  4. Mice live on average for 73 years.
  5. Tom from 'Tom and Jerry' became a raging alcoholic after quitting the show. His alcoholism caused him to crash his car in the Summer of 1972, after which he was killed.
  6. Grass is made up of 3 compounds. Horses, Fossils, Radioactive waste. It's green color comes from envy of weeds.
  7. Dogs can hear a tin of food opening from 3 miles away. However they cannot hear "Come on, back to your lead now." even when said directly to them.
  8. Cats are an excellent source of potassium.
  9. Hats make a person 21 times more likely to succeed.
  10. Superman was real. He came a town in Northern Russia in 1922, however was killed after the great Kryptonite fire of 1945.
  11. Tents are 3 times more likely to steal your purse than the average man.
  12. The VCR player was invented before the TV
  13. The average TV is 21% Plastic, 12% Metal, 67% Awesome.
  14. Gravy is said to prevent cancer and increase sex-appeal.
  15. Magnets work by by being sexually attracted to metal objects. Their turn offs are wood, plastic and power-ballads.
  16. Helicopters work by continuously pressing the "X" Jump button.
  17. Mobile phones work by harnessing the power of magic.
  18. Ice-Cream companies invested in £2 million in 2005 to determine whether or not tonsils were harmful. Their findings suggested they were.
  19. 8.2 Trillion people slip, trip and fall every year.
  20. The average human spends 2 years looking in the mirror thinking "Phwooar I would."
  21. Field-Mice have the best health-care in the UK.
  22. Horses speak in Latvian.
  23. Computers are filled with chocolate, sweets and dreams.
  24. Dodgems can be legally driven on roads in Arkansas.
  25. God's XBOX-Live name is "YrFkinLordAlmighty02"
  26. Atlantic City was raised from the sea in 1822. The bodies of Mermaids were sold at local fishmongers markets for years to come.
  27. When first popular, people used to run up and down trains to create lateral movement. Early trains were not popular amongst the disabled.
  28. SPAM is made from baby tears and puppies.
  29. In 1987 the Nuclear Arms race reached it's height, when a boy in Russia was born with arms that measured 30 meters long.
  30. Early Wind-Turbines were used to make sushi.
  31. Trees have roots so that they cannot walk. Walking trees were a common problem in the early 20th Century.
  32. Radiators are Radioactive.
  33. The chief supervisor of the Nuclear Power Plants in Venezuela is named Homer Simpson.
  34. Xbox Live was first predicted in the Bible.
  35. The first book ever printed was "The top 10 styles this summer 1633 - Swimsuit edition"
  36. Darwin invented the first remote-controlled car.
  37. Horses are made from Children's dreams and Glue.
  38. The metal Porsche cars are made from are said to reduce the size of a person's penis.
  39. Mothers day was invented 4,000BC by Eve, after her years of crack misuse had led her to take upon a self-important view of herself.
  40. Carrots are Blue-Tooth enabled.
  41. Head-Phones work by having mini-people in each ear which play the songs you wish to hear.
  42. Pillows are made from clouds.
  43. Planes used to be launched into the air by use of a giant slingshot.
  44. Cans of deodorant have snakes inside of them, hence the hissing noise.
  45. Attics are an excellent place to hide bodies.
  46. After medical testing, the best way to prevent prostate cancer is by using a plug of some form.
  47. Donkeys kick because their front legs are welded to their ground.
  48. Shoe-boxes are ideally used as houses for extremely small people.
  49. 9/10 cats that read this will be high.
  50. Mice can't read French.

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Comments 2 comments

aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

51. If you laugh hard enough you can lift off the ground and bump your head on the ceiling. I know this because I just did.

'Radiators are Radioactive.' They give off formeldehyde when turned on which is why they make some people ill with headaches etc. I don't use mine. True. No really!


Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Did you also know, that if you got an infinite amount of monkies, sat them at typewriters for an infinite amount of time, it'd be...The most hilarious thing ever! Thanks for commenting!

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