101 Silly Halloween one liners for kids!
I collected these up for my granddaughters but I thought I share them here with you all too.
~This is the third year that this hub was up for Halloween. My granddaughters asked me if I could print these out for them to take to school for their Halloween party. Which I did and made them into little booklets one for each of their classmates. This gave me the idea to make up these little booklets for the trick or treat-ers too.
I will do this from now on every year and it only takes a little time to make... I will add some 'how to' pictures.
1)Q: What are the days of the vampire week?
A:Moonday, Toothday, Veinsday, Thirstday and Frightday.
2)Q: What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure
3)Q: What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel
4)Q: Why are vampires stupid?
A: Because they are all suckers.
5)Q: Why are vampire jokes bad?
A: Because they are a pain in the neck
6)Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
7)Q: What type of pet dog do vampire's like the best?
8)Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich
9)Q: Where does a vampire have lunch?
A: At the casketaria
10)Q: What surgery does a vampire doctor perform?
A: Fly by night operations
11)Q: Why did the dyslexic vampire starve to death?
A:He couldn't find any doolb.
12)Q: Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?
A: He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through
its heart because steaks were too expensive.
13)Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath
14)Q: What is a vampire's favorite sport?
15)Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a werewolf?
A:A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
16)Q: What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
17)Q: What is Transylvania?
18)Q:Where does a vampire water ski?
A: On Lake Erie.
19)Q: Why was the Baby vampire scared to go to the bathroom?
A: Because he was scared of the light.
20)Q: Where do vampires store their money?
A: In a blood bank.
21)Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay.
22)Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank.
23)Q: Who did the vampire take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
24)Q: Why couldn't the vampires wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
25)Q: What tree does the vampire love the best?
26)Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!
27)Q: What do you say to a skeleton going on vacation?
A: Bone voyage!
28)Q: What skeleton was a famous detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
29)Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
A: Lazy bones
30)Q: What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone
31)Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the guts!
32)Q: What do you say to a skeleton before he eats?
33)Q: Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
A: Because they don't have any body to go out with...
34)Q: Why can't a skeleton have fingers more than 11 inches long?
A: Because 12 inches is a foot.
35)Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No Body
36)Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon Bone-apart
37)Q: What do you give a skeleton for Valentine's Day?
A: Bone-Bones in a heart shaped box
38)Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his
Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I was bone to be wild
39)Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck
40)Q: What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
41)Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: With scare spray
42)Q: Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
43)Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A: Because vacuum cleaners don't have long enough cords
44)Q: Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
45)Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch
46)Q: What do people say to the parents of twin witches?
A: Which witch is which?
47)Q: How do you make a witch scratch?
A: Take away the W
48)Q: What was the witches favorite subject in school?
49)Q: What do you call the witches garage?
A: The broom closet
50)Q: Which story do the little witches like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul Deluxe and the 3 scares
51)Q: What did the ghost buy for his Haunted House?
A: Home Moaners Insurance
52)Q: What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
A: Fasten yoursheet belts
53)Q: What are ghosts favorite music?
A: Haunting melodies
54)Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
55)Q: What do short-sighted ghosts wear?
56)Q: What do you call a drunken ghost?
A: A methylated spirit
57)Q: Who does a female ghost see on a Friday night?
A: Her Boo-friend
58)Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl?
A: Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot
59)Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: "Do you believe in people"
60)Q: What did one ghost ask another?
A: Do humans exist?
61)Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich
62)Q: Why was the little ghost stupid?
A: Because he climbed over walls
63)Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream
64)Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
65)Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boos
66)Q: Who is a famous ghost detective?
A: Shelock Moanes
67)Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar?
A: For the boo-ze
68)Q:What do you call a ghost that gets too close to a bonfire?
A: A toasty Ghosty
69)Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist
70)Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A: Anywhere he can Boo-gie
71)Q: Where do ghosts live?
A: In a far distant terror-tory
72)Q: When the male ghost met the female ghost...?
A: It was love at first fright
73)Q: What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
A: They boo-kle their seatbelts.
74)Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: To the Dayscare center
75)Q: What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A scareplane
76)Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don't spook until your spooken to
77)Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
78)Q: Why do ghosts like tall buildings?
A: `Cos they have a lot of scarecases
79)Q: Why did the ghost go the the doctor?
A: To get his Boo-ster shot
80)Q: When does a ghost need a licence?
A: During Haunting season
81)Q: What is a Mummies' favorite type of music?
82)Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They're so wrapped up in themselves
83)Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They're good at keeping things under wraps
84)Q: Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A: Because he was coffin
85)Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea
86)Q: What do you call a friendly dead Egyptian?
A: A chummy mummy
87)Q: Who goes to the monster's PTA?
A: Mummies and Deadies
88)Q: What do you do when 20 monsters surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
89)Q: What kind of streets do monsters like the best?
A: Dead ends and Skull-the-sacs
90)Q: Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately...
91)Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
A: Because he was in need of a light snack
92)Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
93)Q: How do monsters know their future?
A: They read their HORRORSCOPES
94)Q: What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A: A wash and wear wolf
95)Q: What's a monsters favorite play?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet
96)Q: What monster flies his kite in a rainstorm?
A: Benjamin Frankenstein
97)Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed
98)Q: What do Italians eat on halloween?
A: Fetuccini A-fraid-o
99)Q: What's a haunted chicken?
A: A poultry-geist
100)Q: What game do little cannibals like to play at parties?
A: Swallow the leader
101)Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's
A: A cereal killer...
Thank you B.T. for the addition to #89
Thank you 'GwendyMom' for the next one
102) Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
pictures courtesy of www.sxc.hu
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