12 Ways To Look Ridiculous
It's true. People do things that make them look ridiculous. They have their reasons, I suppose, for doing the bizarre things that they do. If they could see themselves as others do, they might think twice. Or not. It's likely they just don't care and view the world differently then the rest of us. As a people watcher, I can't help but wonder what drives these behaviors. I'll never know for sure. Following are some ways some folks choose to be ridiculous.
Low-Slung Pants -
This does not look good, guys. It makes you look like you have no legs and you sort of walk like you don't when you're wearing them. I don't care if your underwear are red or paisley or striped. No one wants to see them. Even your Mom doesn't want to see your butt hanging out like that. Also called "sagging" this fashion trend had its start in prison. Though I don't believe wearing your pants' crotch to your knees should be against the law, some communities have attempted to ban them. The "droopy drawers" bill rarely passes but the guy who wrote the song "Pants On The Ground" wasn't too far off.
Clothes On Dogs -
Your dog does not want to wear clothes. He is a dog not a doll. Dressing your pet up in cute little costumes and dresses should be embarrassing to you. It probably is to him. It is also very expensive and those that sell you dog duds are laughing all the way to the bank. It is something you do for you, not for the dog. Here are some of the clothing options available for dogs - pajamas, bathrobes, raincoats, sweaters, and holiday costumes. If you're walking your dog in his pajamas, you look ridiculous.
Hair Color -
When we think of hair color, we think of blonde, brunette, red head and all the hues in between. We don't think of pink or green or purple or a combination of them all. What? It's great to be an individual even to stand out in the crowd a bit. But blue hair is very smurf-like and not a flattering fashion statement. If you could match it to every outfit you wear there might be something in that. I don't know. If you really have to do that to your hair, it's probably best to stick to a solid color.
Gauging Ear Lobes -
If you have holes in your ear lobes big enough to toss a quarter through, you look ridiculous. Properly called stretching, this form of body piercing can take a long time to get right. There are health risks to doing this and if you change your mind later it might not be possible to get your ear lobe back complete. Outre may be in but ear lobe gauging is out. There are doctors who specialize in gauge ear lobe reconstruction and repair so doesn't that tell us all something?
Sunglasses are made to protect your eyes from the sun's glare. They are not meant to be worn at night. Wearing sunglasses to a nightclub is crazy. It tells everyone who sees you that you are trying way too hard to be cool. It makes them wonder if you're cheating on your girlfriend or picked up a case of pink eye. Driving at night with sunglasses is unsafe. Just because you paid an outrageous amount for your designer sunglasses doesn't mean you have to wear them all the time. Or maybe you just forgot to take them off.
What You Drive -
If you are driving around the city streets in a Hummer, you look ridiculous. You may look rich and powerful but at eight miles per gallon if you're lucky (see video below), not too smart. Hummers aren't the only boats on the street either. It can't be easy to park them and passing is out. You're like the wealthy bully of the roadways. You are partly responsible for America's dependence on foreign oil. If that all is not enough, driving a Hummer on city streets is as bad as wearing sunglasses at night.
If long after you've left the room we can still smell your cologne, it's more than we need of you. There are both men and women who seem compelled not to just dab it on but to slather it. It doesn't matter how tasteful the scent is. Too much of it and it will hang in the air like a fart long after you have departed. This leads to people thinking they can taste it on their food or smell it in their own hair. It's not good. To avoid being ridiculous remember that just a dab will do it.
Body Type Dressing -
If you've got it flaunt it but if you don't have it then you look ridiculous trying to flaunt it. It's as simple as that. Nothing makes me cringe more than seeing someone with a belly-baring blouse when it is obvious that big belly shouldn't be bare. Good fashion means enhancing your body type whatever it may be. It is not attractive to see fat legs below a mini skirt or a spare tire over a belt. It is always a good idea to take a look in a full length mirror before you go out.
Cell Phone -
People use their cell phones to look ridiculous. Loud, outrageous ringtones contribute to this. If everyone around you jumps and looks when your phone rings, it's too loud. If we find out all about your plans for the weekend when you're talking to a friend then you are too loud. Though hands-free cell phone devices are common and widely acceptable, you often look like you are talking to yourself. This causes many misconceptions and you may find strange people responding to you even if you are not talking to them. A long musical introduction on your message machine is ridiculous and people will hang up.
Lawn Ornaments -
The bathtub Virgin Mary in your yard would be better served without the gnomes, pink flamingos and other odd creatures to keep her company. Too many lawn ornaments in your yard looks ridiculous. Gnomes aren't that cute and plastic flamingos are tacky. But if you feel better having these to adorn the neighborhood, it's best to keep it simple. They are supposed to compliment your landscaping, not take it over. That infamous cowboy silhouette painted black or the bent over butt painted with red polka dots are just not necessary. We won't even talk about holiday decor here.
Motorcycle Head -
When you get off and park your motorcycle and go into a store or building, it's best to take off your helmet. Walking around inside with it on makes you look like a bubble head. Maybe you're afraid your hair is ruined or that it's too much trouble for what you have to do but you still look ridiculous. You look like you are auditioning for a part in an alien movie. If you're just trying to let everyone know you're an easy rider, no one cares. The same goes for bicycle helmets. Your lime green spandex and functional helmet doesn't impress anyone.
Dressing Alike -
Couples really shouldn't dress alike. It isn't that cute. You are not twins. Recently, dressing like your significant other has become a trend among Hollywood couples. They can get away with it because they are rich. You're probably not. Besides most of those Hollywood couples are young. You're probably not. Wearing matching loud Hawaiian shirts and red pants at your age looks ridiculous. It's overkill. We know you're a couple and even if we didn't, who cares. Your everyday dress becomes a public spectacle. Let's hope this fad doesn't catch on.
If you wear droopy pants or walk around with a helmet head, please don't be offended by this Hub. You likely hear a different drummer drumming and there's nothing wrong with that.
For more irreverent commentary, here's another Hub -
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