21 Reasons to Not Read "Twilight"

Introduction

Originally created for class, this list is a service to mankind. Many people wonder whether they should read Twilight (to know what everyone is talking about, if nothing else). I represent the side that says you should not waste your time, and I intend to make sure that I don’t waste your time either. That means I will present my arguments in a comprehensive list.

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS WILL OCCUR.

 

Part One: Characters

1. The main character (Bella) is portrayed as perfect. She is always cooking for her dad, she has a martyr complex, and she ignores Stephanie Meyer’s own vampire rules, easily overcoming a need for human blood.

2. Bella has an unhealthy obsession. She insists on Edward’s perfection. She has no outside interests. When her love is thwarted, she engages in self-destructive activities and attempts suicide.

3. Bella encourages abuse. She says she doesn’t mind if Edward hurts her. She wants him to bite her (which will kill her).

4. Bella is a necrophiliac. (She’s in love with a dead person.)

5. Bella’s love interests are more plentiful (at least five) and thoughtful than realism dictates.

6. Edward (Bella’s vampire love interest) is a stalker. He follows her around and enjoys watching her sleep.

7. Edward is unreliable. The entire storyline revolves around his massive mood swings.

8. Edward attempts suicide.

9. Twilight vampires are beautiful, intelligent, athletic, fairly invincible, usually rich, and often have supernatural abilities.

10. Jacob (Bella’s shapeshifting love interest) is a pedophile. Failing with Bella, he hits on her daughter.

11. Jacob is homicidal. All throughout the books, he really wants to kill those pesky vampires.

12. Jacob forces a kiss on Bella. And her father approves.

Part Two: Writing

13. These character foibles lead to more angst than plot, especially in New Moon.

14. The books are way too long for so little action.

15. Purple prose dominates. I would quote, but I’m not certain of the legality. I will, however, mention that the worst descriptions relate to Edward’s appearance, especially his eyes.

16. Closely related to the purple prose are the unfortunate names. Try saying “Renesme Carlie Cullen” with a straight face.

17. The science is very unscientific. Can someone please explain to me how dead people can have babies? Or how humans magically get an extra chromosome upon becoming a shapeshifter or an extra two if transformed into a vampire? I suppose their fans are too young to care.

Part Three: The Culture

18. Their fans are definitely too young for the Twilight car commercials airing on television.

19. They are also too young for all the honeymoon/pregnancy portions of Breaking Dawn, not to mention all the fanservice in the movies.

20. Twilight fans are very frightening, especially when it comes to those shirtless scenes. They often completely define themselves by their status as part of Team Edward or Team Jacob. (Sorry, Team Jacob. Thanks for playing.)

Part Four: Final Impression

 21. These super-humans, together with their shapeshifting allies, gather to fight the villains. They all decide not to fight, leading to a great anti-climax.

Alternative Fantasy Literature

Children

·         Chronicles of Narnia series – C.S. Lewis

·         Harry Potter series – J.K. Rowling

·         The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien

 

Young Adults

·         Artemis Fowl – Eoin Colfer

·         Inkheart – Cornelia Funke

·         Redwall – Brian Jacques

·         Dragonsong – Anne McCaffrey

·         Icewind Dale trilogy – R.A. Salvatore

 

Adults

·         Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell – Susanna Clarke

·         Dracula – Bram Stoker

"Twilight" Books: Your Thoughts

After reading this hub, what is your attitude to the "Twilight" series of novels?

  • I've already read them and loved them.
  • I've already read them and hated them.
  • I've already read them and couldn't care either way.
  • I've never read them but want to.
  • I've never read them and don't want to.
  • I've never read them and don't care either way.
See results without voting

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Comments 11 comments

resspenser profile image

resspenser 6 years ago from South Carolina

Good hub. I was not interested and now I have 21 good reasons!


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Hurray, a voice of sanity in this Twilight/vampire madness. Thank you, my dear as I really was beginning to feel like a minority of one in the world.


ExpandYourMind profile image

ExpandYourMind 6 years ago from Midwest USA

Thanks. I haven't read the books, but did see one movie -- well part of it -- I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.


Mickey 6 years ago

Who ever made this website is a straight up HATER.


AJHargrove profile image

AJHargrove 6 years ago from USA Author

Actually, Mickey, a hater is just someone who can’t be happy with someone else’s success. I am simply applying myself to analyzing a low-quality series of novels. Twilight has so many fans that someone needs to balance them out. I can’t do it alone, but every little bit helps.


Rachel 6 years ago

If you are not a hater, you don't like twilight, and twilight isn't that long.


Highvoltagewriter profile image

Highvoltagewriter 6 years ago from Savannah GA.

I just could not get it...I read the "New Moon" stuff and was blown away by how bad it was! I am working on my own werewolf book and I think my story is much better, but I don't write for young girls!


MiseryHinata profile image

MiseryHinata 5 years ago

I agree with you, you should check out my hub on Twilight, I think you'd appreciate it :) glad I'm not the only one who finds Twilight, to put it lightly, lacking


georgiecarlos profile image

georgiecarlos 5 years ago from Philippines

I agree! I just don't get all the hype. Also, since the fourth movie is coming out, I wonder how people, especially parents will react when they realize that the books their young daughters are obsessed with teaches these girls to a. give up everything for the guy, b. forgets about the world and focuses her entire life on a guy instead of having goals or dreams, and c. get married and have sex with a guy, and not to be bother that this guy who had a crush on you wants to marry your daughter who is _ months old.

Also, if you can, you may want to check out my hub which is about the misconceptions of love Twilight teaches, will really appreciate it :)

Overall, great hub!


ruffridyer 5 years ago from Dayton, ohio

My daughter-in-law loves the series. I tried reading one book. It was such a letdown when the vampires/shapeshifters teamed up to fight, then decided not to. Boring.


trusouldj profile image

trusouldj 5 years ago from Indiana

I just saw the 3 movies a month ago. Interesting, but I don't know if I want to read the books. Not that captivated with vampires and werewolves.

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