24 Hour Help Line
You took my money
And wasted my time
Leaving me hanging
On your 24 hour line
What a joke.
I'd laugh if it wasn't on me
But I feel bad
For getting mad
With the poor sap who picks up for me
It's not his fault
His company makes me bleep
He's just a peon in the line of fire
I know it, but I can't help myself
They've really stoked my ire
"Your company is a bleeping bleep!
And this whole thing is bleeping bleep too!
Bleep your bleeping bleep of a bleep!
I'll never come back to you!
I try to remember his innocence here
As I take a deep breath in and out
He can't do anything to help me now
And there really was no reason to shout
So I take another breath and apologize
Before I hang up the phone
Yes, I'll call back in the morning
But they best avoid dark allies alone...
Just had to get out some of those frustrations or I would never be able to sleep. I find it truly fascinating how "helpful" help lines are supposed to be, but unless you call during regular business hours you apparently can't talk to anyone who can do anything in any way, shape, or form that has the remotest relation to what you actually need help with.
Poetry. It's a wonderful way to express yourself and stay out of jail.
I would also like it noted at this point that I didn't actually curse at the poor man who answered my call. Since I work in customer service myself, no matter how mad I get, I just never have the heart to yell at them directly. However, I'm sure my phone would have been shaking in fear and run away, had it ears to hear or legs to run with just after I hung up.
Hence, poetry, that beautiful, beautiful thing that keeps me sane and not needing bail money.