25 Reasons you don't make any money on Hubpages
#1 You need to try harder.
You're simply not trying hard enough. Take that half eaten bag of Doritos off your desk and finish them. Wipe the cheese off your fingers and start writing! These articles aren't going to type themselves! Believe me I've found that out the hard way.
#2 Stop buying Doritos
Seriously... they are really really bad for you.
You need to be more consistent! You can't write one hub wait three weeks and write another and expect people to follow you. You have to maintain a constant schedule!
#4 You're too random!
Come up with a theme and list topics. Take your list and implement it! This one isn't too terribly hard. Coming up with a theme can help guide you on the way to writing many hubs.
#5 Please get off the couch...
Unless you have a wireless keyboard/mouse and a big screen TV or projector you need to get off the couch and get to typing! Use your DVR to catch all those crappy daytime talk shows you love so much. There is ad money waiting for you out there!
#6 You need to be Creative!
Sure there are plenty of people who make money off of their newest recipes, and also many who write self help articles that are producing the big bucks. Be creative and write something unique! For example; How to kick your mother-in-law out to the curb without angering your neighbors, or how to hot wire vehicles without getting caught!
#7 No one likes a sob story..
Generally when people are coming online to read they either want to learn about something they didn't know much about before, or they want to be entertained. Constantly posting stories about how terrible your divorce was will not lead to more clicks, but it is really REALLY sad.....
#8 You're not linking!
Linking to other peoples hubs can be an effective means to increasing traffic. It can also be an effective way to make other hubbers very happy and or angry. There is nothing like an inbox message full of vulgar racial slurs to brighten your day!
#9 Practice, practice, PRACTICE!
Running out of ideas? Keep writing! See what people respond to! The more hits you get on a hub the better the chance you have to find your niche. It's just like masturbation. Keep at it!
#10 Comment, comment, COMMENT!
You probably aren't commenting enough. Reference your own hubs in other peoples comments. I find this annoying when other people do it to me, but it's actually a pretty effective way to increase traffic and followers. Regardless of whether you have something nice to say, or if you're just being completely rude and asinine this works.
#11 Consider this a vacation
I don't know what you do for a living, but I have had some TERRIBLE jobs before. I consider this a break from my normal hellish, zombie infested, grind of a life. You should too!
Apparently pictures of scantily clad ladies get lots of clicks. Does this have anything to do with the quality of writing? NO! But whatever works, works!
#13 Now that sir is offensive!
Go ahead and offend someone with different political views. Offend someone of a different race. Make fun of someones religion. Is it moral? Nope... but once again it gets clicks!
#14 Research anyone?
Researching your topics beefs up the amount of information you can pile into your hub. Use the Googlewebs to stake out your claim. After amassing large amounts of 1's and 0's compile them with your superior typing skills to be one step closer to collecting that pay check.
Ok... so you're not that good at writing. You don't have a lot of ideas. You're not even sure why you attempted this. Who cares? Pretend that you're really really awesome. I heard somewhere that positive thinking does wonders. Try it out.
#16 please remove "this" from your vocabulary..
Writers block? WRITERS BLOCK!? What? Yeah right.... There is no such thing. That's just an excuse for people who are too lazy/lame to try something as exciting as this. Seriously if you keep at it you're going to get paid for typing your thoughts. Go at it!
#17 Use the force!
Yoda once said "Do or do not there is no try." You are doing not! Stop it!
#18 I don't mean to reference Star Wars again...
but Han Solo said "Never tell me the odds!" He said it all scary and mean like too. You want to know why!? Because Han solo doesn't care! He's going to win no matter what! That guy is a champ, are you?
#19 Facebook, reddit, myspace, googles, wherever!
Are you seriously not posting your blogs on every social network and forum possible? Get out there and do it! Clicks, clicks, CLICKS!
#20 talk to somebody?
If you're really out of ideas, and I mean you're scraping the bottom of the barrel ask someone! Find family and friends! look for other hubbers! Run out into the street in your underwear and scream to the world that you need help! OK... so don't do that last part... but you get the idea!
#21 Clearly you're not imagining...
Now i'm not saying that you should run out and take a hit of acid or puff down an ounce of the finest smoke you can find, but you need to start using your imagination more. Nobody likes narrow minded straight forward writing. If we wanted that we would go purchase a text book.
#22 Add a little variety..
Adding variety to your newly found creativity may help a bit. Subjects should range all the way across the board or you will find your readers bored... <---- Pun most definitely intended.
#23 You're a little dull... get that fixed..
Review everything you've written. If none of it brings a smile to your face then it most likely does not bring a smile to anyone else's. This doesn't meant stop doing what you're doing. Rather, you should persist and destroy!
#24 Study the greats...
If you aren't doing this already it's a sore mistake. Look and see what others are doing to garner attention. Follow them as closely as legally possible. Take pictures of their house, car, children, and write them threatening letters... Just kidding... well on the whole stalking part of this anyway.
#25 Ditch the nay sayers!
You're going to run into negative, crappy people who don't like what you do. Who cares? Ignore them and continue on your way! Persistence is key!
Did you enjoy this hub? Check out my other "25" articles!
25 Ways Facebook Makes you Lose Faith in Humanity
25 Ways to go to Prison (not recommended to anyone)
25 Ways to Get the Girl of Your Dreams
25 reasons Wisconsin kicks your states butt
25 Things you can do While You're Pooping
25 Greatest Video Games of All Time
25 Things you Didn't Know About Men's Nipples
More by this Author
People spend a lot of time pooping. I read an article that the average man spends three years of his life on the toilet. So why waste time while you're wasting your waste? Do these things too. 1. Read Duh! Everyone...
I'd just like to say that I am not responsible for anyone doing anything listed here. This article is written purely for reasons of comedy and If anyone is actually stupid enough to replicate anything in this list then...
A funny, informative article about men's nipples—the things you wanted to know but were afraid to ask.