5 Shocking Things You Probably Don't Know About HubPages

We couldn't find it. Verified by Google.
We couldn't find it. Verified by Google. | Source

There is no HubPages

You might think you know where everything is and anything you can't find can be easily found via powerful Internet search engines such as AskJeeves and AltaVista. Sadly, you'd be wrong. Some things are harder to find than a Democrat with common sense.

Indeed, we know HubPages is out there somewhere but Google cannot find it. After relatively extensive searching we came up empty. We struck out, digitally. I, among others, fervently believe in HubPages and all they stand for, but, excessive use of commas aside, I'd feel much better if the place showed up on a map, as no doubt you would as well.

He's John Koskinen and HubPages is not.
He's John Koskinen and HubPages is not.

HubPages will not be impeached

HubPages has absolutely no involvement with ongoing IRS scandals. John Koskinen, pictured at left, may see his professional career ripped away due to allegedly inept handling of sensitive data storage devices at the Internal Revenue Service. Some conservative politicians and publications assert his culpability. Some folks would revel in his toppling. An impeachment just might be in his future.

We here at The Institute for the Painfully Obvious observe that precious few federal employees experience negative consequences while on the job. Sure, the occasional hard drive may have been wiped or a federally-mandated handheld device run over by a stray bulldozer, allegedly, but this hardly rises to a fire-able offense, yeah?

This girl is looking off in the distance at a Home Depot.
This girl is looking off in the distance at a Home Depot. | Source

HubPages shops at Home Depot

Venerable home improvement retailer Home Depot offers 40,000 items in their typical brick-and-mortar outpost. An additional 600K products present themselves in cyberspace through the Home Depot web presence. Undoubtedly HubPages buys some of that stuff.

Surely HubPages experiences clogged sinks and aging electrical systems in need of repair as bandwidth demands increase. We understand the need for expanded domain names and little robot heads peppering our articles, but real-life stuff breaks at corporate headquarters. They need cleaning supplies when my articles cause them gastric distress. They require safety equipment and hazardous material handling accoutrements when reading the collected works of junko.

We concede that Lowes offers alternative product lines. HubPages may also shop there. Don't mistake kindness for weakness.

This man wants more votes like the ones from HubPages.
This man wants more votes like the ones from HubPages. | Source

HubPages votes the Libertarian Ticket

Venerable HubPages ostensibly supports free speech, or mostly free. You can call me names with impunity. This libertarian bent obligates a ballot commensurate with the Libertarian Party.

When HubPages trundles into their local polling place, waits patiently in line, identifies itself, and shuffles off to the mostly private voting booth next to the other mostly private voting booths, rest assured Gary Johnson will be a beneficiary of votes cast for the 2016 US Presidential election.

Hillary is swathed in the mere appearance of impropriety. The Donald has his foot shoved so far in his mouth that "You're fired" comes out like "YMMMMph FHHHHHHD." No one knows if they are fired or simply being mumbled at. Gary clearly enunciates "thank you" to votes cast by HubPages.

Conclusion

In conclusion we conclude that HubPages:

  • Doesn't exist,
  • Will not be impeached,
  • Shops at Home Depot, and
  • Votes the Libertarian ticket.

These conclusions have been supported with supporting graphics culled from oodles of Internet sources. Thank Heavens for the Windows Snip Tool. Without this uber-handy software utility originating in Windows 7, grabbing graphics from the Interwebs would be even more difficult.

Feel free to differ, but prepare to be incorrect.

HubPages could be here, I guess.

Please take this handy poll before you vote for Gary Johnson

HubPages is

See results without voting

Supplemental Conclusions

Indeed more conclusions are necessary. As we trudge toward 750 words, we observe that HubPages has been around for a long time but not as long as any of us, unless we are, like, 10 years old. I know I'm not.

HubPages tells me I've been participating for over 5 years but it seems longer. My first article went viral like a flu bug. I thought I'd get rich on this site but I continue ordering lottery tickets online to assuage my bank account. One day I plan to publish the article that catapults me to legendary status on this site, but so far all I have is over 1 million page views and about 6-figures of income. It bought me new vinyl siding and an HVAC upgrade and I should be happy for that, so I am.

More by this Author


Comments 6 comments

Jodah profile image

Jodah 5 months ago from Queensland Australia

Haha, interesting article, nicomp. I hope it gets selected for one of the niche sites (though which one I have no idea) and that it goes viral and you get rich. I know HubPages is out there somewhere.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

Thanks, Jodah.

I need my own niche, no one in their right mind would share with me!


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 5 months ago from San Diego California

Hub Pages doesn't even know where Hub Pages is. Google Earth says San Francisco, but the weekly email says Berkeley. This doesn't fit into the Libertarian theory at all, or maybe it does. What do I know? You're the one with the new vinyl siding.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Mel, The Peoples Republic of Berkley is no place for a free-thinking content mill. Surely they must pack up and move to Ann Arbor or Madison.

And yes, the siding is awesome. Hand-made by 'muhricans.


Jo Lim profile image

Jo Lim 5 months ago

Haha, nice article writte. HubPages is somewhere on the earth=D


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 months ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Jo Lim, I agree. Pretty much. Some of the publishers are out there in space.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working