50 Reason why Men are Men

Well the gauntlet has been dropped and I have been challenged to write about us guys and give 50 reasons why men are amazing creatures. Now think about this for a minute and guys I hope you stand with me on all these points. Are we different than the girls. I hope so and maybe this may clarify things a little about just who we are.

Welcome to the Fireside one and all. I have ll ready for your arrival, coffee, tea, milk and sugar. Diet Coke and some really really good Cookies for those of you who care to indulge.

it back, relax, stretch out and enjoy the fire and be careful of Quigley as I have her all wired up. Hugs to you all... know this is a place where you will be loved and cared about.

Lets face it guys we would be nothing without the girls in our lives. There I said it. It qualify me to be burnt at the stake but I think we can all come to the conclusion we would be lost.

So 50 reasons is what has been called for so let me have free rein here and see what I can come up with.

1) We are cool even though we can not have babies. You see the reason they can is because of us. So stand tall boys and take part of the glory.

2) We love our toys more and have better ones than anyone else.

3) We can have horns mounted on our barbecues if we want. Now that would be classified as the ultimate Red Neck.

4) We gather in packs at sporting events and act like we are crazed kid and pay a big price to do so.

5) We have cool cars and well lets face it some of us have 4X4 trucks with big tires and what is under the hood is hidden until we need to show off.

6) We do our best singing in the shower which is considerably faster and uses less water because we need not shave all those parts the girls do.

7) We are conservation minded by using less water.

8) We are used to cold showers and that one I will leave right there.

9) We do not need all those fancy creams and lotions.

10) We rarely tie up the phone lines unless we are talking cars, trucks and some off off coloured jokes.

11) We understand the word headache and tired very well.

12) No matter the speed or condition of the road we can drive faster than our counter parts.

13) We are more streamlined because we have one less rib. So thank us girls for the best one you have borrowed.

14) We own all the remotes in the world. They are ours and it has been imprinted into our DNA.

15) We all like the toilet paper to come off the roll the right way facing us so we only need to pull down. A side note is we use far less as well.

16) We can barbecue better than the main cook in the house. In the kitchen men they are better than us but we own the barbecue duties.

17) We can pass gas better cause we let the pressure build by not saying anything for long periods of time.

18) We never need roadmaps cause we know where we are going at all times. We are better than most GPS units.

19) We never need to ask directions and that saves time.

20) Red light generally means a fast changing yellow light. Or worse yet an area of town we should not be in.

21) Yes chickens do have lips. Men are the only ones who can see them and they make great soup.

22) The most expensive stuff cost good money because we know quality when we see it. Our stuff lasts a long time.

23) We like to buy things that are really for us but give them away as gifts to you girl. We have a plan.

24) Kids are not made in the cabbage patch and not delivered by storks. We are smarter than that.

25) We know what "The Look" means.

26) "I think I might have a snooze" a favorite line to be able to practice snoring. That is why we invented ear plugs.

27) Look the train has been here it left its tracks is old. We know cause we built the tracks so the train will be along soon.

28) We never trim the hair on the inside of our ears and nose. We have just grown to tall for the hair we have. It is growing there for a reason.

29) Getting old means spicing up your life with "Hot Sause" when it is on sale.

30) ...30 is the year we come to know we are on the downhill slide and openly admit our age to anyone who asks.

31) The grey hair we have comes from wisdom.

32) We love the little frilly things the girls wear but hate to walk into Victoria's Secret to get them. "Mom sent me is a good line guys." The girls working there understand.

33) If I were to paint a picture of the male mind. It would be one of a light switch. We are not that complicated. I will leave the picture to you girls now.

34) We love anything that is fast after we hit forty. Some would go so far as to say we are attempting to relive our youth we missed. It is a myth.

35) We always tell the truth about the one that got away. It was this big. You see we have built in tape measures in our arms.

36) There are times when "No" means maybe. It is the way we think. We are logical thinkers and always look ahead to the possibilities.

37) Going to the store means stopping and talking to the guy with the monster lawn mower.

40) Men drool a great deal when they see something really special. It is our way of marking the territory at tool and car shows.

41) We flex our muscle when the ladies go by. It is bred into us like other things. We are men after all.

42) We never tell the other guys about the struggles we may have. That is why they invented those little blue pills.

43) We like big screen TV's so we don't miss any of the action and our eyes are still really good and we never need reading glasses. We have long arms.

44) Sometimes we have hearing problems. We blame it on all the loud music we listened too years ago. Yet we still cam hear a Mustang car from blocks away.

45) We measure our fish sometimes with empty beer cans. Man look at this one it is 9 cans long. That happens when the tape measure in our arms fails.

46) We know better than the expensive professional plumbers and appliance repair guy. Once we take it apart we reference all that stuff online and save money.

47) We need time to hunt, fish and play poker. It is therapeutic for us and much cheaper than a shrink.

48) We rarely ever need new clothes or shoes except when we rip our tight pants attempting to get out of the sports car we insisted on having.

49) We all have a great sense of what the girls are thinking. That is why we always listen.

50) Brings me to mind of a famous Canadian TV show you may have heard of called the "Red Green Show." He is the guy that can fix anything with mans best friend duct tape.

The closing line fellows is the one that gets me all the time. Learn it well as you will need to know this. "We are men and we can change, Red goes onto say "But only if we have too."

Should you get caught doing something you are not supposed to guys take this stance above. It works and will get you out of trouble nearly all the time. It means you have been busted. Just accept it and move onto the next silly caper.

Ladies I will speak on behalf of all the men I'm certain when I say this. Never change cause we love you. Each and everyone of you are special. Just know there are times when we fail to say thank you for being there through the good and the bad. Walk away from reading this knowing you are the best thing that has ever happened to us.

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