7-Eleven Epiphany

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By: Wayne Brown



I stopped in for my morning coffee and a cup of yogurt at the corner 7-Eleven today. Those of you who read my writings regularly know that this is one of my morning rituals. I grabbed a large cup of coffee in a “Vote for Romney” cup (damn right!) and headed for the cooler to get my yogurt. As I am prone to do, I had yet another epiphany while there in the 7-Eleven and was suddenly overcome with the urge to present my idea to the store manager who stood close by taking the morning inventory on her hand-held device.


Of course the lady recognizes me immediately as that “famous writer who lives here in town” and gives me a smile and a “hello” which left me thinking “please no autographs today!” I smiled back and returned the greeting then quickly launched into presenting my idea. They say the best laid plans of mice and men oft go asunder. In this this case, that was an understatement….they sank like the damn Titanic! Here I was presenting this great idea and with the simple wave of her hand, the lady just blew it off. At that moment, I knew she had probably voted a straight democrat ticket in the recent election. How sad things are going to be for her when she is living in the gulag.


My suggestion was a simple one which even the simplest of minds could comprehend and implement. I reminded the manager that November was the month in which we annually celebrate our veteran and active duty military personnel. It is our way as a public of thanking them for their service to this nation. Most business get on board with it in some way seeing the downstream benefits that could come from recognizing those who have served in some small way. For example, the restaurant chain, Applebee’s, is feeding all veteran and active duty personnel for free on Veteran’s Day this year. That is certainly a very nice thing to do. At the same time, Applebee’s will benefit on that day because the person getting the free meal will probably bring someone else with them like their spouse or girlfriend thus they will also make a sale. In turn, the military personnel will develop a special fondness for Applebee’s returning again and again to show their gratitude for the recognition. One palm greases the other so to speak. Besides, we have to remember that whoever built the Applebee’s chain didn’t really build that….it is a fact because Obama said it was.


Anyway, I told that 7-Eleven manager that it would be a really good thing if on Veteran’s Day this year that everything in 7-Eleven’s inventory was free to veteran and active duty military. Without much thought, she told me that they just could not do that…it would cost way too much money. She was obviously not getting the point that I was making and I told her so. I explained that it was within the power of our federal government to make things free to people simply by declaring it so. Why was that not within the power of the management of 7-Eleven? If something is declared free then how can it cost anyone anything? It’s free for God’s sake!


Well, suffice to say that she just did not get it and refused to discuss it further. She ended it all by stating that they would soon be out of business if they simply gave their inventory away. Well, I never! How can one be so thick skulled about the concept of free stuff? After all, it is not forever…it’s just for one little ol’ day! Obviously this lady has no appreciation of the dedication of our armed forces. Lord knows the government gives away things for free and it is still in business. Where in the wide world of sports is this woman’s rational thinking?


Now that I have sat down and written this, I am getting real mad about it all. I might have to seek some vengeance to balance the scales. Maybe I’ll hit ‘em where it hurts and lay off the large coffee for a month or more…that should gnaw a hole in their profit margins and remind them that they need to be more appreciative of those who have served. I am also thinking of writing to my Congress person to express my deep disappointment on how my idea was so quickly rejected as having no merit. Maybe I need to drop by 7-Eleven headquarters and make my spiel to the CEO…maybe that would crank the nut. I am in a quandary here. I suppose everyone is not like the folks at Applebee’s.


Maybe that is the problem with the private sector here in this country now that I give it some thought. Maybe there needs to be more free stuff. Heck, if you work there, you ought to get free stuff every day, don’t you think. Besides, how much could it cost…they make so many of those items on a daily basis. Why not share them with the employees? No doubt, companies have it all wrong. Rather than focus on profits and giving a return to their stockholders, maybe these companies need to look at seeing what they can do in terms of free stuff. We all like free stuff so why not have more of it? It just makes sense. Maybe if there was more free stuff, we’d all get along better…there would be more harmony. On second thought, the government hands out free stuff right and left with no visible impact…maybe that is an empty theory.


Still, I keep returning to the concept that many politicians have worked hard to implement…the concept of free stuff. Think what it would cost us if the government refused to make things free….an arm and a leg. Just look at the benefits as well. When word gets out that there are free things in America, folks flock here both legally and illegally to get some of that free stuff. That means we have more people living here who could be paying taxes so that we could all have more free stuff. Now we are back to that concept of one hand greasing the other. It is such a pity that the 7-Eleven manager cannot just open up her thinking just a wee bit and let the light of intelligent thinking shine.


I am thinking that it might be a good idea if the federal government just took over 7-Eleven and gave us free stuff every day. A lot more folks would go into the stores which would increase store traffic and inventory would turn over a lot faster so the fresh milk and loaf bread would not spoil. The manager would not have to worry about theft or profit margin because the stuff would be free…because the government said it was free. That makes it free…right? How could anyone get hurt in a deal like that? What a great use of taxpayer dollars!


Now that I think about it, I am starting to get really miffed with 7-Eleven selling things like they do trying ever so vigilantly to make a profit. I live on a fixed-income meaning that there are limits to my funds. Paying for that large cup of coffee every morning is a drag on my ability to succeed over the course of my lifetime. In fact, I believe that it could be a form of discrimination in that I have to pay the same amount for that large cup of coffee that the average rich guy pays for it as well. That is unfair because he can afford to pay more therefore he should. Now President Obama’s desire to tax the rich is beginning to make sense. It all comes down to a large cup of 7-Eleven coffee….same coffee, same amount in the cup but the rich guy benefits more from buying it than I do because he pays the same as I do and I am of less means than he thus he is actually stealing from me what is rightfully mine in the first place. That’s it….no soup for you!


I find it amazing what there is to be learned on a simple morning stop to the local 7-Eleven. Some would look on it as just the simple purchase of a cup of coffee and a cup of yogurt. But, for me, it is an intellectual awakening to the nth power. Now, I fully comprehend how badly I have misunderstood what the right thing to do should be. I fully realize that all this time the rich guy has been getting a great deal on his coffee while I have been charged the extra premium which I obviously cannot afford. Besides, I am a veteran and I am entitled…at least I think so because I like free stuff that no one has to pay for because the government says that it is free to me because I am entitled. Now, that may not make sense to you on the surface. If you are struggling with it in any way, I suggest that you stop by 7-Eleven and get a cup of Joe and simply ask the manager if he or she has any “free stuff” for those who really should get free stuff. In the meantime, I will be over at Applebee’s eating my free lunch that no one has to pay for because it is free!



©Copyright WBrown2012. All Rights Reserved.


9 November 2012


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Comments 32 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

"Of course the lady recognizes me immediately as that “famous writer who lives here in town” and gives me a smile and a “hello” which left me thinking “please no autographs today!”

You too? Isn't that annoying?

^_*

What if we all just quit work and applied for welfare? All of us!

Who would pay the way then? Would that finally expose it as a fraud?


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@WillStarr....I am beginning to empathize with Elvis although I don't dress like him. This fame is really cramping my style! LOL! Thanks, Bill! ~WB


Conservative Lady profile image

Conservative Lady 4 years ago from Surprise Arizona - formerly resided in Washington State

Wayne - I don't get it - how can 7-Eleven be so greedy - they make lots of money they should share - we all deserve free stuff - I think I might have to boycott 7-Eleven now...... NOT

Well done once again you famous writer! ;-)


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 4 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

I don't see what any of this has to do with Obama OR Romney, but I do think that lady was rude. Or, is this fiction? It's funny anyway.

And, I think it's sort of a no-brainer that veterans should get a discount --- at least on their day. Probably many other days, as well.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Conservative Lady...Obviously I have outted them for what they are...a bunch of greedy capitalist whose goal is to make a profit! How dare them. All that stuff....could be benefiting someone so why not or veterans. I hope there are not other companies out there like that! Thanks much for playing along! LOL! ~WB

@Huntgoddess...It's just funny mostly with a bit of truth woven in. The key here is that "things are not free" though it might appear that they are and that people can make them free but someone somewhere bears the cost. The Obama - Romney thing had to do with the election...they sold coffee cups in red or blue with the name on them for the election. They are still attempting to dump them after the election. I use the absurd sometimes as a way to make people think. ~WB


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 4 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

Oh, I did not know that about the cups. That is weird. I rarely get to a 7/11 anymore, since I have no car.

Personally, I always feel that local elections are more important. Your vote counts more in a local election, and the candidates are directly elected by the people, unlike the presidential. The local elections affect our daily lives more.

But, I still think veterans should get a discount. It wouldn't be free for them anyway, because they've already paid. (I'm not a veteran, BTW.)

God bless. Thanks for the laughs!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Wayne......Did I ever tell you that I LOVE sarcasm? Not that you would ever use it to get a point across, I'm sure....

I did hear about your fame, though....can you imagine? All the way up here in New York. Amazing........

BTW...shouldn't you be having your morning coffee served to you, in bed, at your luxury mansion, by your butler? You pay for his Health Insurance, don't you?...........UP+++


FitnezzJim profile image

FitnezzJim 4 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

Too funny, or too true, I am not sure which. Isn't in our national anthem that we are 'the land of the free'? Perhaps if you reminded the 7-Eleven clerk that it is in our anthem, then she might begin to understand the proper point of view.


kj force profile image

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

Wayne Brown...Regardless of what's been said..it could have been worse. You entitled yourself to the rude attitude, by picking the " vote for R " cup..I was in the grocery store the day after the election, I was still wearing my " R " vote pin , my groceries got bagged and when I arrived home, discovered my bread and eggs were under the canned beans...need I say more ? lesson learned...loved your hub, thanks for sharing an exerpt from my day...


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@fpherj48...My butler has been on extended hiatus thus I am relegated to 7-Eleven for coffee and fame. I am sure I will be taxed at a higher rate because Mr. Obama now has a mandate now that 150% of the registered voters have turned out. I cannot believe that I am living in a world where people think things are free, have no fear of socialism, and willing re-elect a Marxist to high office with a little help from the vote tampering crowd.

@FitnezzJim...Free rent, free food, and even free cell phones...the rationale being that one cannot find work without having a phone. BS! One has to be looking for work in the first place....that ain't happening because they are too busy gaming the system. That is the part these folks did not get....Romney could not attract 47% of the voters because they are already suckling on the Obama welfare teat....like he gives a damn about them. What a crying shame that these people are there in Washington looking for more ways to squander our tax dollars only to cry for more. If the fires do burn in hell, I would like to stand back long enough to see that crowd get their just due. You are right though, the anthem does say "land of the free"....makes you wonder why they want to change it, huh? Thanks much, Jim! ~WB

@kjforce....It never dawned on me that the 7-Eleven manager might be a liberal. Naaaa...she couldn't be...she'd be all for giving everything away! I like to buy that Romney cup so that folks can see a loser who is unashamed of how he voted and would do so again. Hell, I would vote for tree in Brooklyn if it had kept that Marxist out of the Oval Office for four more years. Thanks much! ~WB


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

My first indicator that the manager was not quite all there was when she FAILED to get your autograph! What a nincompoop!

Maybe there should be a law where you must present your W2 Forms from the previous year at the cash registar, and then the price of your item you are purchasing will be calculated based upon the amount of money you made.....

Hey! I too, just had an epiphany!

and another thing HOW dare you for going to Applebee's! They say the might have to cut their employees hours back so the won't have to supply FREE insurance to them! Those greedy owners already make TOO much money! I'm mean the HC is going to be FREE anyway, WHY would they cut hours or lay anyone off?


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@CMerritt...What we have here Chris is a wholesale degradation of the restaurant industry at the hands of the conservatives of America....proof that those greedy capitalist have no love of anything except a profit. Never mind that the business would go under trying to pay for the healthcare insurance alone. That matters little...it is the principle of the thing. How can we sit around the gulag campfire and sing Kumbaya if some among us are at heart raging capitalist. No doubt when we arrive there, we will see at least one bloody wall and wonder what it is used for....possibly some type of artform???? I am going to start carrying my last ten years of tax returns in my wallet...you never know when you will be ask for them...ask Mr. Romney. But the birth certificate, the passports, and the college transcripts, you can leave them home in the safe....nobody gives a damn about seeing them. Thanks much! ~WB


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Wayne, I think the way it works is that the Big Gulp would be free but because of health rules, you wouldn't be allowed to drink it.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Wayne.....You went from a butler, to fetching your own coffee at a 7-11?? I went from having a personal assistant...to BEING one! What next??

Gosh...even LOVE is not free. Think of all the disillusioned hippies. Hopefully, some of them married and are now painfully aware that love is not FREE........Smile, Wayne......please?


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@dahoglund...You hit that nail on the head, Don. I should have taken a more liberal approach and asked the manager to provide small drinks to our veterans....lesson learned! Thanks much! ~WB

@fpherj48.....Paula, my being a famous local writer caused my butler to demand more compensation. He opted for 99 weeks of unemployment, a free cell phone, and temporary housing assistance...much more than I could provide in light of the fact that I would have to also include healthcare for you. Now, I have been forced to take on the ways of commoners and buy my own coffee at 7-Eleven. Very true on the hippies....just be sure that "If you are going to San Francisco, wear some flowers in your hair"....SMILE! Thanks much! ~WB


rfmoran profile image

rfmoran 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

Free stuff - What a concept. Wait until health care is free. As PJ O'Rourke said "If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free." Good hub, good use of irony. Voted up, funny and interesting


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@rfmoran...Thanks much! That is a great statement and so very true. Name one thing that costs less because the government got involved with it. All government does is complicate things and raise the costs associated with them....that is why we need less of it. ~WB


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

I can't believe the lack of foresight on the part of the manager. If something is free, than it doesn't cost anything. Anyway we have nothing to worry about because president Obama personally pays for all the free stuff. A woman on the food stamp line told me.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@breakfastpop....Wow, Poppy....don't you wish you could have run into her before you cast your vote...that explains everything! If its free dammit, its free! How complicated can it be? Can 2014 get here soon enough so that "free" can be totally implemented and experienced....I think not! Thanks much! ~WB


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 4 years ago from Kentucky

Free - The art of illegally entering a country and living off the taxes paid by the legal occupants. What a concept! I wonder if I could do the same if I were to cross the border illegally into their old one? My father once said, "Son, nothing in life is free." In fact, he used to say that every time I asked him for something. In almost 60 years, he still does. I stayed away from Applebee's and Golden Corral's free meals yesterday. I'm a veteran, but decided that there were probably many that needed the meal more than I did. Besides, I'd have had to buy one for my wife, who's not a veteran. Like I told her last night, "Honey, nothing in life is free." Give me a jar of instant coffee and some sugar free creamer and I'll forget about 7/11 forever! lol Great Job, Wayne!


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Great analogy Brother Wayne. So simple even a 5th grader will get it though probably not the average liberal. Here's the thing . Don't think "revenge." Obama and his foillowers are of that ilk.

The Frog


Deb Welch 4 years ago

Wayne - the sweet life has it's drawbacks, doesn't it? Yeah - all business should have a great gimmick of 'free stuff' - in hopes the customer will buy more than intended or continue to shop there. The java is good at 711 but the customer service is not my cup of tea. Veterans need a meal and some need a home and this is not a perfect world in any way especially under Obama. UP.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@rcrumple....You got that definition down, Rich except for the part about illegally voting for the guy handing out all the freebies....that's a given! LOL! Remember, under Obama's plan, we are going to grow this country from the middle out so that means you and I, us veterans, will be among the first to benefit from all these great give away programs. Now since both of us passed on Applebee's, what rational do we have to think that we will see any great benefit of something which is in no way defined in any detail? Swampland in Florida...that's all it is to me. Let's just get over here in the shade and take a nap until America wakes up. ~WB

@The Frog Prince....You are correct. I just received a dressing down from a reader in Florida who pointed out that the high voter turnout down there was due too the enraged citizens who felt the Republican governor was trying to surpress their voting rights. So....they exceeded the 100% factor of registered voters...big deal...it was a good turnout and he saw no problems with it. I guess you could say that Obama got the "revenge vote" just like he asked for. Thanks Frog! ~WB

@Deb Welch...Thanks much and it will grow less perfect with each passing day of the next term starting with the budget battle and the fiscal cliff. Those who voted for him will who are working and capable will eventually see that they best interest is not at the forefront of this administration. Any outward growth of the middle class of this country will be a factor of expanding waistlines and that seems like a longshot at the present. I wonder how the "free stuff" can last? Only until we kill the golden goose....the middle class, then its over. ~WB


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Wayne what an awesome hub. Delightful.

Only what is in my constitution should be free. And veterans assure me of that. The only problem I had with your article was about your fame and success, and buying your food. I thought all rich and famous people got everything for free. Go figure. Somewhere someone got the quote wrong "give me free or give me death".


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Ericdierker....I agree totally...that is all we are really have with the exception of what shadowy politicians promise us in exchange for our votes. The currrent resident in chief is attempting to turn the death of four Americans in Benghazi into a military sex scandal so that he can walk on the real issues. I cannot believe Petraeus is playing along. Hilary is in Australia sipping wine samples avoiding her testimony before Congress as well. Petraeus, Clinton, and ultimately, Obama, are not just thumbing their nose at Congress, they are thumbing it at the America people saying "you don't deserve the truth but we cannot afford to tell it." Here we are once again, covering a coverup with a coverup distraction to bail this Marxist out of his own stupidity. Thanks much, Eric! `WB


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

I think it's only fair, Wayne, that all of us including the other 53% demand free stuff. Are we second-class citizens? Are we not also entitled to freebies? Our slogan will be the best things in life are free! Are you with us?


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Great message. I agree with the free stuff notion. Unfortunately I don't think it's gonna happen with 7-Eleven. In fact I think by now anyone running one of these store would have money to burn. They've been around since I was still a kid. Glad there are places like Applebee's that understand who deserves what.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@drbj...Even Bill Gates and Warren Buffett like free stuff, Doc! After the federal government takes off 7-Eleven...it'll all be free anyway. Let's get started! Thamks much! ~WB

@GRL....You are so right, at least not until the feds take them over after everything crashes. Then we can sit in the parking lot and trade memories of the good ol' days of capitalism! Thanks much! ~WB


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 4 years ago from US

Very cute story but I won't be able to laugh again until the man who set up four Americans to die is found out and has to answer. What is taking so long? Is he black-mailing everyone who knows the truth? Over sixty days and still no one is forced to tell the truth and how many people just do not care! Four Americans begging for help and who said no? I want to know.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Pollyannalana....I agree. I wrote a piece entitled, "American Oath" recently in which I decried the coverup of Benghazi. This president has hid behind two women, a CIA director sex scandal, a tropical storm, a war outbreak in the Middle East, the fiscal cliff, and now, a nonsensical tour of the Southeast Asia. Most of the media, with the exception of Fox, is covering for him by simply burying the story. This is more than Watergate, bigger than Watergate, and a true reporter's opportunity to ask questions and flip over rocks as in Woodward and Bernstein. Sadly their liberal politics are more important to them than the story. This media fried Nixon over a two-bit burglary coverup, they harped after Bush's military records, and they all but crucified Laura Bush over the unfortunate death of a high school friend. But when it comes time to ask questions on the liberal side, they are are bunch of deaf mutes. At the same time, there is no outrage in America. Based on the media's ability to report on this story, I would venture to guess that many Americans cannot even address it. Obama has tested our system and our checks and balances have failed. Now all he has to do is break the financial back of the middle class income earners and their "will" to resist will follow. We are being dismantled as a nation. Thanks much. ~WB


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 4 years ago from Great Britain

Of course you have every right to have a "No autographs Day". Writers´cramp could set in otherwise and then where would we all be?

As for the lady, she just cannot grasp the obvious truth of free coffee bringing in more trade for her.

Great hub. Laughed my socks off in parts.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Dim Flaxenwick....Who could ever have believed fame could be so fatiguing! LOL! Now I can relate with Elvis! Ha! Thanks much! ~WB

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