A Child's Trust

Said my prayers then checked for monsters beneath the bed

Only stuff of fairy tales can rattle a saber inside my towhead

Sleep slips slyly into dreams where angels stand in my stead

Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead

============================

Tiny hands that reach to safety from the storm clouds overhead

While strong arms rescue a princess from a dreams dark dread

Where Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too await begging to be read

Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead

===============================================

Moon mysteries mirror magic where my myopic minds-eye led

Where the island of misfit toys is make believe better left unsaid

As Santa Claus has a waiting home for every toy inside his sled

Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead

===============================================

Crystal blue eyes looks to the skies wistful for snow to tread

Pure translucence unaware that life dangles by a fragile thread

Wishes that lay near still-wrapped toys and a guardian angel fled

Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead

===============================================



Comments 59 comments

Curiad profile image

Curiad 3 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

"Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead."

Amy, you have said what could not be expressed any other way. I pray many times a day for these little angels. For the families, for the teachers, and I can see these small spirits reaching out now to their lost families and sending their love.

Mark


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh, Mark, it is so shockingly sad. When I saw the pictures of their sweet, innocent faces, I thought of my Megan at that age...full of promise and trust and love. It is unbearable to think about the unimaginable pain their families must now endure with their loss. Thank you, Mark, for your beautiful compassionate words.


Sunnie Day 3 years ago

Dearest Amy,

A heartfelt poem for our beautiful children who have left this earth and are now singing in heavenly places. May the peace of God touch the families as they walk through the sorrowful time. Thank you.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Dearest Beloved One Amy,

Your words express it all of the innocence of a child. They are now where there are no more tears, pain and suffering. The unimaginable pain their families are going through is so very surreal, but sadly very real.

Thank you for this expression of your lovely heart.

In His Love, Faith Reaper


xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Heartfelt is the word alright. I was on mu way home from my poetry group last night when Eric Clapton's song "Tears In Heaven" played on the radio. Knowing that the song came out of the loss of his child who fell out of a high rise window, and in the context of this terrible loss to s many parents and the nation, it was all I could do not to pull over and weep.

You have expressed our hopes well.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

There are no words, Amy, and no reason for me to try and find them. Thank you for expressing it as well as we could hope for.

bill


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 3 years ago

Your words say it all....


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Despite the amount of brutality seen in movies on the big screen or in our homes on TV, Sunnie, this real life event is shocking to me. It is savagely frightening to know for a fact that mental illness can result in the unforeseen, illogical, irretractable slaughter of innocent people, among them, young children with no concept of this kind of unimaginable violence.

Thank you for reading my poem, Sunnie, and your kind words of comfort. Hugs sent to you from St. Lou


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear Faith, I am hearing news reports that many of the children traumatized by the violent deadly rampage in CT are, understandably, afraid to attend any school now. I can only imagine how difficult it must be, not only for the survivors, but their parents to ever feel safe sending them off to school again. Home schooling will probably be the only answer for some now. There are no answers to why this happen, only surmising. As a human being, it is difficult to not question God's purpose. There will always be tragedies beyond are capacity to stop and I still hold onto to the hope that eternity will provide us with the answers to those real events too horrifying to contemplate. As children, we are taught to be good for goodness sake. Even Santa Claus is crying when he reads the hopeful lists from those little ones who will never open the gifts their parents so carefully chose for them this Christmas. As a parent of a now grown daughter, I wonder how any parent doesn't live in a state of perpetual, paralyzing fear today. Thank you, Faith, for your comforting words.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, dear xstatic, for sharing your sorrowful thoughts and emotions regarding this despicable tragedy. There really are no words to address the illogical, desecration of innocent human life. It is real, raw and devastatingly inexplicable. Thank you for your expression of the sweet sincerity of your sadness. Your humanity is a beautiful thing that the world needs more of everyday.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Like you, Bill, I'm all out of words. Thank you for reading my piece. Your humanity is evident, my friend. Bless you.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much, Pop. I am stunned numb.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 3 years ago from Arlington, TX

Awesome work. I had to relect again on how much society has changed since I was the age of those who just perished on pure senselessness. Have a Merry Christmas and pray for our nation in this time of extreme unrest.

The Frog Prince


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful, meaningful message here, Jim. I agree with you 100% and wish you a Merry Christmas, too, dear Frog Prince.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Dear Amy, I knew instantly from your title what subject your exquisite poetry represented. And although I read it through I could not reply immediately. The wounds still are and will be too raw for some time.

In the meantime I want to let you know about three lines in particular that display like none other your ingenious, evocative, alliterative poetic ability. 'Sleep slips slyly into dreams where angels stand in my stead . . . Moon mysteries mirror magic where my myopic minds-eye led . . . Pure translucence unaware that life dangles by a fragile thread . . . ' Your amazing descriptive lines mirror the mind of an innocent child.

And speaking of innocence, your closing line: 'Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead' says it all. Pure genius, my dear. Trust me.


Vincent Moore 3 years ago

There are no words that can express the hurt, pain and loss of this tragic event in Americas history of violent acts against the innocent. You penned your soul so well and I felt every word and expression of grief between each verse. God is crying for the familes and friends left behind in sadness and grief, yet in his glory they will reign supreme and be instantly transformed and uplifted to sit beside him in his garden and on his throne.

Amy you brought tears to this poets eyes, I am not fully recovered from the pain I feel in my heart and don't really think any of us will ever forget this horrific event that took place on that very dark day. I extend my best wishes to you and yours. Have a very Happy, Healthy and Loving Christmas.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

A beautiful write Amy----sad, so very sad


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Amy....simply stunning and so very touching. All I can do is cry and grieve for those Innocent babies and their families. This is all, much too sad......Thank you for this exquisite poem...UP++


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Will we never forget the pain and sorrow this tragedy has wroth. I don't see it happening anytime soon.The beautiful eyes of the faces so sweet. The father who spoke so eloquently of his love for his blue eyed daughter will stay with me forever. Your poetry is beautiful Amy. The angels carried them home to God, but the pain will never go away. I must say that i feel for the Father and brother of the mentally sick young man who committed this unspeakable act. May they find peace somehow..


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear drbj, Innocence is so exquisitely pure and, for the majority, very fleeting. It is like a rare jewel. It is a big part of the stunning beauty seen in every child's face. When it is taken or destroyed by any act by anyone, it is so aberrent, abhorrent and evil, it is incomprehensible, unspeakable. Even in the cases of illnesses, when it involves a child, it feels beyond the realm of "natural causes." For the parents, honestly, drbj, I don't know how one goes on...

Thank you, drbj, for reading my piece, despite its subject matter. In all sincerity, I don't know that I would have, at least not not. You went above and beyond and I appreciate your kindness. I consider you a great friend of mine, drbj, and I feel exceedingly fortunate to have met you.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Vincent. I heard it said on the news today that the media has been asked to please leave the grieving alone now. There was only one photograph taken during the funeral of the little boy who wanted to be a fireman when he grew up. It was the whole fire department dressed in their gear. I realized that the media would be swarming to cover this unprecedented tragedy, but I also wondered if the town felt violated by their unimaginable grief being examined under a relentless microscope. Our need to know the unknowable was beginning to feel intrusive to me. I am ashamed to think that it took the people of this slaughtered town to have to ask for some modicum of decency, respect and privacy for their pain.

Thank you for reading my piece, Ken. I hesitated to write it. I wrote it for anyone who has lost a child for any reason. Whether it is through an unspeakable act of malice, like this recent act, or an accident or illness, it is unbearable. None of us can imagine outliving our children. It seems unnatural, unfair and cruel.

I wish the same for your Christmas, Vincent; that it be happy, healthy and filled with love.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you sincerely, Audrey. It is so sad it is difficult to even think about. I appreciate your visit and kind words.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much, fpherj. This tragedy is one few will forget. I cannot imagine all the families whose lives will never be the same. And, those families with other children that must carry on with Christmas this year, and the next, will forever be acutely, painfully reminded of the child they lost.

Thank you for your kind visit and words, dear fp.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Dear sweet Ruby, I was amazed at the stamina and courage of beautiful, little, 6-year old, Emilie Parker's father. I am truly in awe of his ability to so eloquently speak after such unspeakable horror.

It is human nature to try to understand the incomprehensible. We try to rationalize our own sense of vulnerability and fear. It could have happened to anyone of us. I wondered about the father of the gunman. Its been reported that the parents were divorced, but amicably. The dad has a great job and paid alimony to his ex so that she "would never have to work", allowing her to keep their home. The thought crossed my mind, that since 20 year old Adam Lanza had known mental health issues since early childhood, that possibly it was dealing with those serious issues that destroyed their marriage. Personally, I would not have had an arsenal of weapons in my home with a son that had well known mental issues. But, it is not my place to judge. It is apparent that there were serious problems in the household that culminated in the unprecedented tragedy that took 26 lives along with the gunman's mother and himself. It will take a lot of prayers to bring peace to the loved ones of the victims. I can't imagine there are enough to ever bring peace to Adam Lanza's father. It is unbearably sad no matter which direction one looks, Ruby.

Thank you for your visit, my friend, and your heartfelt, touching words. Sending love from me to you.


lrc7815 profile image

lrc7815 3 years ago from Central Virginia

Amy, dear heart, you have done it again. This one is magic. Your poem contains all the things that childhood should be, full of wonder and fairy tale characters and Tiger too. :-) In the wake of such horror, we all pray for hope where trust once tread. If only we could make magic again for the little ones whose dreams are shattered. I love the purity and innocence in this piece Amy!


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh, Linda, Your beautiful words actually made me smile for the first time in days. You have such a kind, sweet heart. Thank you for reading my poem and leaving such a beautiful comment. Sending love to you from me in St. Lou.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

So very lovely and touching. This is a wonderful tribute to heaven's newest angels. Those sweet innocents who will never have another Christmas. It breaks my heart. Passing this on.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

It breaks my heart, too, Gypsy. The minutes it took to annihilate so much promise, so much beauty, so many innocent human beings, will forever change the lives of the parents, families, friends, and the world. There will always be questions with no answers. The only thing anyone knows for sure is that nothing can bring them back.

Thank you, Gypsy, for your support and passing this on. Sending you a hug, my friend.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

....well to be able to go back to our childhood and gain those two words again - trust and innocence - otherwise we lose it when we grow up as adults and tackle the daily woes and responsibilities of dealing with the pressures of the world we live in. And if we don't have those two words - trust and innocence - as children, then we really do become lost in life and with it happening so early in our lives is there any road to recovery or hope for the future?

I 'did not cry' through while reading your piece, Amy, - actually I was pissed off at man's continuing inhumanity to man and our inherent ability to keep sweeping these kind of problems underneath the proverbial rug.

Amy you do give us hope and inspiration as the world class writer that you have become here at the Hub and you have the right to bare my arms anyday as I will always roll down my sleeves, stand up on my two feet and proudly applaud you.

And without further procrastination or pontification - here is what you've all been waiting for: A brand new top ten from the epi-man:

Top Ten literary groups that would proudly have Amy as an exclusive member:

10. a P.R.O.D.I.G.I.O.U.S ascendancy

9. a V.I.R.T.U.O.S.I.T.Y. enshrined

8. a S.A.L.I.E.N.C.E of profundity

7. a C.O.P.I.O.U.S.N.E.S.S. of prepotency

6. a M.A.G.N.A.N.I.M.O.U.S.N.E.S.S canonized

5. a B.E.A.T.I.F.I.E.D exaltation

4. an I.N.C.O.M.P.A.R.A.B.L.E supereminence

3. a S.A.C.R.O.S.A.N.C.T and untouchable virtuosity

2. an E.N.N.O.B.L.E.D ascendancy

1. a spaciousness of A.W.E.

lake erie time 8:23pm


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well, Mister C, despite the 65 MPH winds combining with the cold to leave St. Louis shivering in the single digits, your words make me blush and warm my heart to the point that I'm taking off my jacket to not only roll up my sleeves, but bare my arms to thank you for your utterly awesome comment. Your vocabulary renders me a speechless twit and my dictionary will be burning the midnight oil tonight in my efforts to keep up with you.

I myself had to wait a couple of days to feel cohesive enough to write this piece. Like the rest of the nation, initially I was stunned numb by the inconceivable horror of the unfolding story last Friday in CT. As the story became more clear and the raw reality settled in, I couldn't stop crying from sadness and then anger. I had to calm down and write this in the dark of night, when it was totally quiet, to be civil. And, as the talking heads pontificate, refusing to get down to the bare bones of safety first regarding the public, by skirting the issue of deadly force and the ease that it is acquired by madmen in endless, non-productive debates, I feel my blood-pressure rise. If the slaughter of 20 little children and 6 teachers in an elementary school in a sleepy, peaceful town isn't enough to ACT NOW, it will never happen. If, in fact, our children are the most vulnerable and most precious lifeforce in our lives (and they are), what are we debating? There will always be violence. Human beings are not infallable, but if we are going to make mistakes, why not on the side of caution? No risk is worth one child's life. After all, smoking is legal, but there are restrictions for smokers. Smokers cannot indulge their habit inside any buildings any longer; not even bars. Medical facilities ban smoking even outside on their premises. The purpose is to avoid inflicting the non-smoking public to the harm of tobacco smoke. If cigarette smoke is treated as an assault on non-smokers, then guns are surely something the public should be protected from with the same zeal as tobacco.

Thank you for listening, Mister C. You can breathe a sigh of relief, I've had my say. Thank you for your magnificent Top Ten List. Letterman needs you as a writer! You always light up my page, Colin. You shine, and every time you do, Epi, my world feels a whole lot brighter.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

....but I must admit one thing to you, Miss B, I cheated.

I found all of those big words at a brand new search engine on the 'net:

GOOGLE ACCORDING TO AMY


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well, Colin, its impressive that you took the time to look them up then! And, thank you for showing me some new words to explore. You always make me smile.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

You're a very talented woman to write such a beautiful piece like this. Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year's. doc


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much, lovedoctor! I appreciate your kind words. Have a Merry Christmas and a safe, Happy New Year, too.


RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

RobinGrosswirth23 3 years ago from New York

Innocence never knew to pray for hope when trust laid ahead

Innocence knows no evil and expects only beauty as that reflected in the essence of its own being.

Children have an expectation that the world will be magical and why not? Who would ever have imagined that the pain of a tortured soul would lead him to execute the innocent lives of beautiful children.

A great poem that leads to discussion.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Robin. Your last comment about a tortured soul makes me think. There are many unhappy childhoods, filled with neglect, abuse, bullying, poverty, hunger, illness or lack of love. Often, though, it seems like some of those who suffer the most feel the most compassion for others, too. I believe Adam Lanza was either plagued by a mental disability or mental illness. I guess it goes without saying, really, as even an angry person, if mentally normal, would not slaughter children. It makes me wonder about destiny...


RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

RobinGrosswirth23 3 years ago from New York

Adam Lanza was on the autism spectrum which means that he had no association to human connectedness. That his mother housed guns of that caliber and taught him to shoot is beyond understanding. And, a person could be angry, but intellectually know the difference between right and wrong and have a moral compass.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Exactly right on the mark, Robin. In fact, I wonder if the mother's way of handling her son didn't destroy the marriage. It would be very difficult to stand by and watch another adult so blatantly careless about the safety of others. I read a 'goofy' newspaper story that Adam Lanza's barber relayed about his completely disconnected, abnormal behavior while getting his regular haircuts. The barber said Lanza refused to even respond when he tried to converse with him as a young adult. The mother answered for her son. The barber said she was very controlling, but it seems she put her focus on the wrong issues. I watched a local PBS talk show last night with different specialists in the medical fields, law enforcement, a girl with asbergers syndrome who calls herself "one of the crazy kids" and the general public. I was left so disgusted and dismayed by all the "talking heads", each with a different opinion on autism, the huge spectrum of mental illness, treatments, availability of real sources of help, with not one iota of definitive information, I was talking outloud to myself! Law enforcement sides with the NRA...more guns...the schools will be militia states when America is through. What will happen when the next mall, theater or workplace is the scene of the next massacre? Maybe the criminal minds can start on playgrounds at recess, or funerals in churches or at the cemetaries or Christmas plays or services? What then? God forbid, we restrict gun ownership. The spector of mental illness is too large to control. Even if the funding wasn't cut, there will still be those who are undiagnosed, undertreated or treated with meds that cause suicidal thoughts and actions or those that just stop taking their meds. We are not going to be able to stop mental illness, but we can put some controls on the numbers carrying guns. Anything less is a travesty in my opinion.


RobinGrosswirth23 profile image

RobinGrosswirth23 3 years ago from New York

Amy, the fact that the boy lacked human range of emotion is the biggest reason he should not have been taught to use weaponry. One must value life and understand loss in order to weigh and consider the risks of bearing arms. His mother payed an awful price for her mistakes as did a community and nation mourning the lives of those lost children. And, more guns isn't the answer, ergo my message in my poem about the tragedy. What will they do, have shoot outs in front of the kids? Like I had said recently, the shooters will carry heavy ammo while the guards will carry pistols, really stupid and will not save lives.

There are people who already have guns and licenses with anger issues, not depression and they are more dangerous. Depression does not mean an individual will kill another. However, challenges like asperger's where a person lacks emotional context will be an issue. Gun control is necessary. But there is an illegal market and everything is not able to be controlled.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I agree wholeheartedly, Robin. You restore my faith in humanity. I am actually taking a deep breath while reading your message. Your words speak with intelligence, unbiased logic and rationale. Thank you.


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 3 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

I love the sleep slips slyly! haha! it's like fireweed fluff adrift,(one of my first alliterations ). You've got it gal, that illusive what if quality to your your poems. Finally I am following you, Do you believe (poets especially) can be so singleminded in their pursuit of their own vision, they are sometimes blind to others?

I think the voice of Epi joggled me out of my mer dream to look around a bit. I am wishing you the very best of the coming year! Love your work! lily


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 3 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

You see? I live in a dream. I looked back at the poem. I'm so sorry to have not gotten it.

I have no children, but a dog, and the love I bear her is so great sometimes, and knowing a child would be so much the more loved, and the loss so great I can't comprehend it. I don't think anyone does, really.

It is that moment that silence hovers the sky. What an appalling loss for change to finally happen. Your poem is infinitely sweet and innocent, a lovely kiss on the forehead to those who are now angels...lily


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much, lilyfly! Yes, I can believe that poets are singleminded in the pursuit of their vision! I know it well. When I write, something, Lily, I am "in the zone" and oblivious to anything around me, which is why I usually write late, late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. Now that I've got a little more poetry under my belt, I'm going to be brave and visit your work again, although I am certain I will still be just as intimidated as before. You have a freer style than I, which I envy. Though I sometimes wish I wasn't "wrapped so tight", it is who I am. I have come to appreciate the magic in the differences in all artists...after all, that's what makes expression more than words and elevates the effort to the uniqueness of creative art. I love your magnificent art, Lily. Wishing you a healthy, happy New Year.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh, Lily, I have a grown daughter and had a beloved Scottish Terrier. My scottie, MacGregor, died this past July. I grieve for him like the baby he was to me. I understand that a beloved companion, be it a husband, lover, child or animal, there is no calculator for love. Losing my canine companion, who came with me when I divorced and was the only one who stuck with me after my layoff, is one I will never get beyond. MacGregor gave me a reason to get up in the morning when I was at my lowest point, after losing my job to the economy. He loved me unconditionally, and I him. My poem is about loss of innocence. Although it was inspired by a horrific tragedy, loss is distinctly painful for the ones suffering personally, whatever the loss. The innocence of my pet made his death from cancer unbearable to me.

Thank you, Lily.


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 3 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

There you are Amy... I din't want to clog up your work w/ personal e-mails, but I can never find the (send an e-mail)button.

Well, first of all, you are an accomplished writer in your own right, and I believe that you believe in your voice far more than I believe in mine. Mine is more of an extemporaneous hat trick, or a passing raspberry to the gods that be.

Well, don't fear, Fear ruins our voice. I hope I get a chance to talk to you at length sometime, your insights, your use of language, all very strong and graceful! Happy New Year, and may only the best come to you and yours in this coming year! Love yaz, lily


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Never, ever think you clog up anything, lilyfly. You make things happen! I welcome every word you leave for me. You just gave me a boatload of courage, my friend. From one strong woman to another, I wish you a healthy, happy, fearless New Year.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Sad, sad write Amy--I came to read this again and again


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

It is sad, Audrey, because it is reality today in many ways. It is not only the horror in the school in CT, which inspired this piece, but the early sexualization of our children. I felt like I was watching a trainwreck when I saw Toddlers in Tiara's. I was most horrified as I watched the mothers coaching their daughters from the sidelines. Seeing the behind the scenes struggles and tirades of pressured pre-schoolers to sit through heavy make-up sessions, false eyelashes, elaborate hair rituals and even padded bras made me sick. Recently, I saw a program highlighting the sexual influences pre-teen and teenage girls are innundated with online. And then we wonder why they fall into the hands of predators. Childhood and innocence is brief enough. The stress, competition and superficial values that adults are pushing on youngsters today makes me glad I grew up in a different generation. We have become too focused on too much, too soon.

Thank you, Audrey, for letting me know that though this is sad poem, you came back to read it again. You made my New Year's day a much better one.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

This was meaningful, beautiful, poignant and lots of other words that escape me in light of the recent tragedy. Your work is eloquent and deep. I agree with you about that show Todlers in Tiaras which I have not seen in its entirety but only the previews. I couldn't relate in any way to the mothers who pressured their precious children into roles that were way beyond their status as babies. The padded bra thing really rocked me; the other day I saw what had to be one for a 4 year old for sale in Wal-Mart! Yikes. I'm so out of touch with all this. I remember having to wait until I was 14 to wear lipstick and even then it caused a dispute between my parents as "being too early".

About the tragedy, my heart goes out to those poor families, their other children, their friends, the community and our nation for what has become all too commonplace violence.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Peg. I remember not being able to wear lipstick until I was in high school and no dating even then. Though I thought I was ready, I secretly felt safe in the wisdom of my loving parents. I watched one girl after another fall to morning sickness and the heavy consequences of hormones, too much freedom, and a lack of forethought and self-control, common in youth. I was shocked when, like a trainwreck, I watched an episode of "Toddlers in Tiaras". The sad case of beautiful, little, JonBenet' Ramsey was the first case of "Pretty Baby" I'd been aware of. Now, it's strived for as some kind of creepy honor, and babies are used for vicarious thrills and ugly competition between the mothers! I think it would be interesting to see the police records and prison time served by the audience. And, sadly, that probably wouldn't deter the rabid enthusiasm for the show. It is a sad tribute to our culture that innocence, fleeting as it is, isn't seen by everyone as a sacred gift to be protected for as long as possible. Unfortunately, the prevalence of violence today makes awareness necessary in every child now. Innocence today is dangerous. It has become a virtue of the past. Thank you for your perceptive, thought-provoking words, Peg.


SMonaghan119 profile image

SMonaghan119 3 years ago from PA

It's like a story from childhood all rolled up into one, touching on the fears and insecurity as well as the happy times of pure innocence. Well written, I enjoyed it :) will read more later.


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Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you so much, SMonaghan, for visiting and leaving me such a wonderfully supportive comment. I am thrilled that you enjoyed this piece.


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Hi Amy, I haven't seen you around lately and thought I'd look you up! I enjoyed this poignant poem very much; it struck a nerve with me, as my childhood also was one of broken trust. You have such talent and your verses are thick with words and meaning. I hope life is being nice to you!!! :-) Lurana


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you, Lurana. I'm well, just swamped. I feel very fortunate to be able to keep up. I have a 47 year old neighbor with lupus who is basically bed bound. When I get stressed by too many demands, I remember how lucky I am to be able to accomplish what lays in front of me. I haven't been writing at the hub lately as I've been doing a lot of copywriting in order to make a little extra cash. I help my 85 year old mother a lot these days, my daughter and run some errands for my neighbor. I also adopted a 4 year old puppy mill Scottish Terrier, so I just haven't had the time to write creatively of late. Thank you so much for thinking of me, Lurana. I hope you are well, too. One of these days, when its quiet and I am in a creative frame of mind, I'll be back!


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

It's good to hear that amidst your caregiving you are able to keep a perspective of gratitude. That's pretty amazing of you, and I hope you realize how wonderful you are.

I have been a bit more swamped than usual too lately, and haven't written anything new myself. I get really overwhelmed by the everyday demands of mothering, when all I really want to do is create my writing and music. It's hard, and sometimes I feel very resentful--"when will it be my time?"---but one of the things I try to tell myself is that this is the weathering process that makes the creative ideas into pearls. I have to hold onto them until life lets me make something of them, but meanwhile the trials are (hopefully) making me a better person somehow. Sometimes that helps, and other times it's just really hard and I have to keep going anyway. :-P

I am wishing for you to have moments all to yourself when you can catch up and look around and feel the freedom and energy to do whatever you want to do, whether it's writing or something else! :-) Lurana


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I know exactly how you feel, Lurana. I have one daughter, now an adult, and I love her like no one else, with my heart and soul, but I feel drained and torn by wanting to make everything in her life right, but, the reality is we are all responsible for our own choices. She has health problems and does not work, so you can imagine. I have autoimmune disease myself, which I have struggled with since she was three years old, when I was diagnosed. When I got divorced (which I wanted), and then lost my job 2 weeks later, I seriously considered moving to Belize so that I would be able to start over and have an opportunity to live my own life. Obviously, that didn't happen as my mother needs me now, too. So, when I say I know how you feel, I mean it! But, still, I look around and am so incredibly grateful to not be an invalid, like my neighbor, to be independent and be able to help my family. Neverthless, I, too, become overwhelmed at times. I am not Mother Theresa, and resent being put in the role of constantly self-sacrificing my time and my interests to everyone else. I read recently that even Mother Theresa felt hopeless in the relentless need of the people she helped and, at times, questioned the existence of God. I have had people tell me that I need to remember I am not indispensible, that those that need me would continue to survive without me, but it is very difficult to tell one's own mother, who sacrificed much of her own life to raise me, "no". I cannot say 'no' to her or my daughter and still sleep at night. There is nothing unusual about this predicament, as it is universal, esp with very young children or aging parents. So, I focus honestly on all the many blessings that make me fortunate and allow me to keep on keepin' on. I try to live in a way that will make me feel that I mattered to those I love and who love me...that I made a difference in some positive way in their lives. I feel incredibly lucky to have crossed paths with someone as wonderful as you, Lurana. Thank you for being so kind to me.


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Thank you, you too. I know what it is like to spend most of one's waking hours in caring for others (and of course I also love my children more than life itself and am so grateful that they are healthy), and you're right---it's nothing new! It's pretty much all that "women's work" ever was for most of human history! In the long view, we are incredibly lucky to even be literate, much less ever have any leisure time for pursuits like writing.

And yes, the fact that we are healthy enough to care for others is also an incredible blessing. But it can be lonely in its way. I remember that you are also divorced like me (though I am now remarried, but still the primary caregiver for my little ones). I see that you are a true poet at heart and I hope your life opens up more so that you can share more of that. :-)


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

You are an incredible woman and writer, Lurana. Your children are very fortunate to call you 'mom'. I think that both you and I find inspiration for writing through our experiences. I also paint (oils on canvas) and I hope that one of these days I won't feel either too exhausted or overwhelmed to pick up my brushes again. I miss that, too. There is a cycle in life, though, and it is ever evolving. My mom, who will be 86 in August, needs me and I feel privileged to be the one she looks to for assistance and as a confidente. Our relationship is less fraught with tension and more comfortable, understanding and loving now. I feel like a bonified adult...finally! I am always amazed to hear my mom tell me how much she admires my ability to take care of, not only myself, but others so well. She often tells me she is amazed at how much I know and how resourceful I am!!! If you can't tell, Lurana, I was the family 'loser' when I was growing up. My sister is a college graduate who went on to hold a high level position with the IRS in Hawaii and my brother is a PhD microbiologist and professor at UC, Davis. I was the classic under-achiever, so hearing my mother say positive things to me is wonderful, although I was always confident in my abilities! But, I did feel lonely, as an outcast in my youth. Today, I am proud to be unique, self-reliant and an independent thinker. You've gotten me on a roll, Lurana, and I apologize for rambling. Thank you for this interesting and enjoyable conversation. If I don't see you for awhile at the hub, please feel free to email me anytime. Take good care of yourself and remember 'you are amazing as the only Lurana on this planet. You are a 'one of a kind' work of art.


Rogelio 24 months ago

THIS was an amazing wnedidg!!!! the both of you looked beautiful!!!. Tom you are so sweet, when Amy started down the isle, those big ole tears melted my heart!!! I know the two of you are going to have an amazing life together.. and, ,amy I have known you since the day you were born,, and I have to say You have grown into a beautiful, smart, sweet and wonderful young lady!!!Russ and I are were so happy to be a part of your special day, and I hope to see ya'll soon,, Have a great honeymoon and be safe .

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