A GENERATION AG0...by b. Malin

My Beautiful Grandparents and Children... My Mother is the tall girl, next to her Brother.
My Beautiful Grandparents and Children... My Mother is the tall girl, next to her Brother.


First, before I start this "little Confession", I sadly acknowledge that none of my Mother's family is alive today, but when they were Young, they were quite the "action" four. In order of appearance, from left to right...Eleanor, Mildred, Beatrice and Herman. My Mother was the "ring leader" of the neighborhood, her Imagination and wit were endless...and so I shall tell you about her. Actually, I mentioned my Mother, and her "Money Tree" when I made Comments on one of JFay's Hubs...So here's the rest of the story.

My mother "Beatrice" was Before her Time in so many of her Ideas...One day, maybe out of boredom, she told all the kids in the neighborhood that she was going to grow "A Money Tree"...and in order to do that, she needed them to collect all their nickels, dimes, quarters, but no pennies, and bring them to the lot on the corner. They were also to bring some kind of a shovel, and she would supervise how far they would have to dig, so she could put the monies in the ground, to grow the tree. She would assign one of them each day, to water the spot, until the tree started to grow. Once grown, it would have leaves made of MONEY! Of course all the kids in the neighborhood, as well as one neighborhood over, brought all their money to Mother, who collected it in a brown paper bag, and lowered into the freshly dug hole. As all the kids cheered in delight...A Happy moment for all.

The next day, when her Mother found out, she waited outside the school for her, and took her home and said, "Beatrice you dig up that money and you give it ALL back, you have embarrassed your father and I greatly". How did my Grandmother find out? She always knew, Always, nothing ever got past her. Yes, Beatrice did as she was told...and was surprised she was not punished further. Later that night after all the kids were sleeping, my Grandparents had a good laugh. That was told to me by my Aunt Mildred, who had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and heard my Grandmother telling my Grandfather the accounts of the day.

One Spring, Mother decided to have a "Contest" and name one Girl in the neighborhood, (are you ready for this?) "QUEEN of the TOILETS"! Why? Well, she did not like this one particular girl at school, who was always making fun of Everyone...She was considered Mean, and the Bully of the neighborhood...The Little kids RAN when they saw her coming. So Mother decided to teach her a lesson. Well she had the contest and even made this girl a "Crown" to wear and a plaque, that looked like a Toilet, with her Name on it and her title "Queen of the Toilets", cut out in Gold Letters. Grandpa owned a Candy, Stationary store, so mother had access to these items.

Well Mother turned it into a whole Ceremony. She talked her brother, Herman into playing his Violin, and Mildred danced, and Eleanor sang a song to the girl, which went something like this.

"You are Queen of the Toilets You are...You are going to go Very Far...With a Crown on your Head, and Toilet paper for a Bed...There isn't much more to be said". and with that she also handed her a Fresh Roll of Toilet paper as part of her prize.

Then my Mother spoke, as she put the Crown on the girl's Head, and handed her the Plaque... she said, "you're a Mean Girl to other kids, and that makes you Ugly, and most worthy of the title, "Queen of the Toilets". Everyone Cheered, as the girl raced down the block to her house... Never to cause trouble in the neighborhood, or at school again.

However, This Time when my Mother got home, Grandma was waiting, with the Paddle!

Comments 52 comments

Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Well now we know where you get your own awesome creativity from! I loved these tales about your mother. What an amazingly creative way to "tame" a mean bully! And the money tree really had me laughing though I was surprised that no one else came back and stole the loot!

Voted up across the board.

drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

What an imaginative, ingenious, creative mother you grew up with, b.M. I love the Money Tree idea - too bad it was nipped in the bud, so to speak. But you know what they say. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, my dear.

alocsin profile image

alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

An excellent remembrance, supported by your always-excellent photos. Voting this Up and Awesome.

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september girl 5 years ago

lol! I laughed, I just couldn't help it. It was too cute, that last story. I wish your Momma's money tree would have been allowed to stay. Then have someone plant a tree in its place. : ) Very cute stories, b. Malin! Voted up for sure!!

KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 5 years ago from Sunny Florida

Thanks for the laugh. I loved the stories about your mother - she sounds like she was quite a handful. Your pictures are terrific.

teacherjoe52 profile image

teacherjoe52 5 years ago

This is funny.

Once when we were kids the pricipal made my big brother angry so he left a little present for the principal when he opened the school the next morning on the front steps.(let's just say it comes out of our butt). The principal didn't noticed and of course stepped right in it. He then left a rotten stinking trail as he walked throughout the school to unlock all the doors. The whole scool stunk for a day. (of course that was before disinfectents)

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Sunnie Day 5 years ago

This was so funny and I love your mothers sense of humor..I laughed so hard..there should be more contests like this for bully's in the school..made to wear it all week..but you know that would never happen..they get a gentle..dont do that again Johnny for the hundreth time while the kids suffer under the bully's rule..Hip hip horray for your momma..I like her style..Thank you for a great hub,


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, what a great sense of humour your mother had! lol! I love it, that was a really good way of seeing off the bully, wish I had thought of it! thanks for a really entertaining hub, really made me smile, cheers nell

Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I do like your mother. So imaginative and creative, I was sort of hoping that your grandfather would plant a real tree that night, I could see the shock on your mum's face.

Loved the story about the bully,pity is the bullies seem to have gangs to back them up nowaday

At least now we know where you got your creativity from.

Thank you for the smiles today

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thanks Gail, my Mother was quite the character...and of course I say that with Love. Yes, she was quite Lucky that no one came back to dig up the Loot, but I guess she had all the kids convinced the tree would grow! Thank You so much for the Votes!

Mmm Drbj, I only wish I could have been half as creative as Mother was...I will miss her until we meet once again...Someday. As usual I Loved your Funny Comments!

Hey Alocsin, Thanks so much for your sweet Comments and of course your "Up and Awesome" Votes.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

I Loved your Idea Sept. Girl of putting a tree there and maybe even attaching some money to it...That would have been a Hoot! So glad you got a good Laugh, and thanks for your Vote as well.

Thanks for your Comments KoffeeKlatch, yes, Mother was something else in her youth, I'm sure she gave "Grandma" a run for the money...But she was also the one in the end, that her Mother relied on. I Loved the pictures too, because it showed how they dressed, such different times.

Hi TeacherJoe, maybe your brother and my mother could have changed the world, one day at time...Her Brains and his "stink" trails...History could have been made.

Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Oh my goodness this was so funny and entertaining. Enjoyed it all the way thru.

The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Jeez malin. The last sentence brought back memories of my Mother waiting with my Dad's fraternity paddle. Oh my...

Great writing of a fantastic story.

The Frog

always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is a super cute story. Don't you just love old family stories? I do. Kids, what would the world be without them? Enjoyed very much..

jfay2011 profile image

jfay2011 5 years ago

Ha. Ha Ha. Ha. Ha. That had me in stitches. Very funny, but very clever way to get back at the girl. When I was growing up we might have gotten away with that. Too bad she got the paddle, huh? I remember that awful paddle. My sister has it now. We knew when mom or dad reached on top of the fridge we started running. Although we had it good. My mom and her siblings used to get the belt. Today that would be abuse. My mom and her cousin used to throw little kittens in the lake to see if they could swim. Nothing better to do. Another aunt cut a bird open once. Ah the days of no tv.

FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

I have only one relative left of my grandparent's generation, the WWII generation. Grandma was the second oldest of four sisters. There had been a brother who died in infancy who had been the eldest.

thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

b. smiles all across the pond to you. Your humour is as always, enjoyable, even when discussing such a subject as bullying.

I remember as a small girl now (I have grown up since then lol), locking a friend of mine in the chicken shed at home. She was absolutely terrified. Mum never punished me but the cockerel Charlie did. He took great delight in chasing me down the garden path, knickers around my ankles, into the back kitchen lol Oh dear do I feel a hub coming along about cockerels and knickers? Shudder the thought. x

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hi Sunnie, My Mother would have been thrilled to read your response, sadly she is no longer alive, and of course I never have outgrown the need to talk to her. Yes, she did have a great remedy for a "Bully" she knew...So glad you Enjoyed!

Hi Nell, My Mother was so "Original" and her out look in life as she grew up (after that) was always so positive...She was NEver a Downer. Unlike Me at time...So glad I made you smile.

That's a Fun Idea Rosemay, my Grandfather planting a tree, and probably my Mother would have LOVED it...Instead, she got the paddle from Grandma, not sure that was fair, for the Bully idea. Thanks for your Thoughts...and Smiles

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hi Susan, Thanks for Enjoying...It made me Smile just remembering these stories and writing about them...My Mother was such a Hoot!

Hey Froggy, glad I could bring back those Fun Memories for you as well...My father would chase us around the dinning room table yelling "You're going to get it, If I catch you"...Somehow He NEVER did.

Yes, "Always Exploring" the old Family Stories are Always the Best...and when they are no longer with us, we Treasure what we have heard and pass them on to our Kids, or Loved ones, or Friends, to Enjoy...And Thank you for Enjoying this one!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Ah JFay, those were Scary Tales from your Family tree...So did the one who cut open the bird at least become a Surgeon! (Ha, Ha,) And did your Mother grow up to be A "Swimming Instructor"? Funny, NOT...Maybe you should write about them. So Glad you Enjoyed this Hub.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Flora, I'm sure the Relative from WW11, also has horrific stories to share...Thanks for your Comments, and knowledge of your Family. My Mother was also the second oldest of her siblings.

Oh Bluestar, there is a Hub there for you to Write too! Funny, Funny, story...Thanks for Enjoying mine, and for relating yours...now go Hub it!

Chatkath profile image

Chatkath 5 years ago from California

I love stories like these, by memorializing your Mother's creative ways to spice up a young girl's dull day, we can see some similarities in many of your writings - can we not?

Voted up and awesome!

Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 5 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

Hey b Malin, I think I must have known this woman. Great read Keep em coming.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Mmmm, Chatkath, I'll have to think about that...But I'm so very Glad you Enjoyed her, she was such a "trip" in her youth. She was not able to bring me up, someday, I'll write about that...But once again, humbly, I say, "Thank you" for your Awesome and Vote Up!

Fiddleman, you would have Loved her. She told us such Wonderful stories, as you always do...and yet her Adult Life was not such a Happy one. Thanks for Enjoying.

AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Very funny stories, b. Malin! What an interesting and creative person your mother must have been. I love the way that she treated the bully!

Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Hi b. Malin! Your mother was a treasure! Oh to have known her back in those times! I hope you will share more stories like this. What a great start to the day to read about your mother! Voted up, up and away!

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Both stories were cuter than the other. Your Mom will understand.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hi Alicia, so glad you Found Mother Funny...she certainly was one of a kind, an original! So now I picture her, rearranging the Clouds and whispering in God's ear and him , chuckling!

Hey Dexter, yes, she Truly was a Treasure, and you would have loved her...and Laughed a lot around her. Thanks for your VOTE!

And From Up above, she would probably send you down some Love, McBirdbks...Because she Would Understand.

Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

You wrote a note to Susan, and said your mother was such a hoot . . . we nicknamed our Grandmother Hoot -- because she was always doing something wacky. She used to give her chickens over-the-counter medicine if she thought they had colds or other ailments. It's a wonder she didn't kill them all. Thanks for a fun hub.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

You Comments made me Laugh at Loud Sally...Where are these Women today when we could really use their Humor...Sadly Not with us. So I say Thank You for the Funny, Funny Comments and for Enjoying Mine as well.

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

My aunt was the family humorist. I miss her dearly.

Great Hub, b. Malin, and great memories too.

thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 5 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up and all across b Malin. Another great story. I think it is great that you know all these stories about your mother being a child. She was a very creative child to say the least:) Growing the money tree, that was classic. I like how everyone came together on the bully. Great story and always a pleasure. Just in case, Happy Thanksgiving to you, Lover Man, and family.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thanks WillStarr, we do miss them...Gone, but Never Forgotten and these stories are our Legacy...So glad you Enjoyed.

Hi Lyricwriter, yes, Mother was quite "Creative" to say the least, and she never stopped being "Creative" in Business and Life in General.

A Very Happy Thanksgiving to you and your Family too...As well as all my Dear Hub Friends.

Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 5 years ago

Wonderful!!! Your Mom was the "orginal creative thinker", & so very true of being ahead of her time. Great tale, of a true story, & though your Mother paid a pretty hefty price, her words of "truth" endured! So special, that I got to meet her, & remember her to this day.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

I do remember that you got to meet my Mom Cheryl...the fun talks from a Wise Lady around the swimming pool...So ahead of her time and Thinking. Thanks for sharing those thoughts. So Glad you Enjoyed this Hub.

Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

What a wonderufl story. Your mother was indeed "a hoot." Such a wonderfully creative individual. I only wish I had known her. What a treasure!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thanks so much Genna. Yes, Mother was a "Hoot" and she truly was Loved for her Charm, as well as her wit.

thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 5 years ago from West Virginia

This was such a good story and well worth coming back too. I hope you are doing ok my friend. I just wanted to say "HI" and wish you the best during the holiday season. The "charm" of an Angel:) Take care.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thank you Lyricwriter, I'm so glad you stopped by. We've been travel South and FINALLY arrived, tired, but Happy. I'll stop by soon to visit your Hubs. Take Care.

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..always a pleasure ....I've watched you grow as a writer and it's darn exciting - you and I go back now to the beginning of our time here at the Hub - and your writing just keeps getting better and better ..... are you off now to the South or are you already there?

lake erie time 12:56am cold winds cold lake oh oh it's winter again!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hi Colin, yes, we do go back, and I so value your Friendship.

We are now South, took us 1 1/2 days to get here...We shared the driving, so it wasn't that bad and only had to sleep out 1 night. We have now recovered, and the weather is Beautiful...High 70's...this week temperatures to hit the low 80's. Not like last year when we FROZE for the first month. I'll be "Hubbing" again soon and will be by to visit you as well.

Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

The money tree story is hilarious and I love the Queen of the toilets story, now that's the way to get your own back on a bully, pure genius!

Your mother was quite a character! I hope we get to read some more 'confessions'

Many thanks for sharing and voting up, best wishes MM

Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Love the photos and the story B. You are fortunate to have these wonderful memories. What fun!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thanks Movie Master, Mother always seemed to have an Answer, or Idea for Everything... truly one of a kind, she was. I miss her wit. So Glad you Enjoyed and Thanks for the Vote Up!

I'm so glad she told me these stories, she always knew how to make Everyone Laugh Sharyn, and now they have become Priceless Memories. Thanks for your Comments.

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Your mom was quite a card. I love people like that, with pizzazz, spunk, character—live wires.

Thank you for sharing these delightful stories. I sure enjoyed reading them. :D

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

She was a Card, James, good description of her, and she would have Laughed. She was so Original! Thanks for stopping by and Enjoying this Hub read!

ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

Wow! A great story about your family. Loved every bit of it. You re awesome!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thank You Ubanichijoke, I'm so glad you Loved it... and Thanks for the Awesome compliment, I will treasure it!

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

she sounds like quite the character! Enjoyable hub. Thanks for sharing!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hi KaraokeGuy, yes, Mother was "one of a kind"...Truly miss her and her wit! Thanks for Enjoying!

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

i wish i could have met her. she sounds like fun!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

She was FUN...knew how to Laugh and Enjoy Life...

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