A House Is Not A Home

LVII.



Just a house really isn't a home and a chair really is just a chair without someone sitting there . . . . and I'm sometimes so poignantly reminded of it. . . . Today was such a day.






It's an emotional moment for me. Not so very unusual, but there are some things about it which brought a special focus and touched a special place in my heart. Today it was when I ran across several poems my gentle George wrote toward the end of his life which brought wistful tears to my eyes.

Let me share them with you ~



I languished on the edge

Of evening,

Quietly watching

As the evening slowly

Gave birth to the night.


The sun paused for

Just a moment

On the horizon -

Much like a lady

Entering a lake

- - or a maiden wading carefully

Into womanhood.


______©George Luther Hay

(early in 2008)

The sun fell down

A while ago

And where it went

I do not know.

But now it's gone

Without a trace.

The moon appears

To take its place.

The stars came out

To join with me

In what became

Our reverie.

One plus one

Equal two.

And that's the magic

Of me and you!!


______©George Luther Hay

The work was done,

The end of day.

The stars came out

To light the way.


The hill was steep,

The journey long

The way was filled

With scathing throng.


______©George Luther Hay

A House Is Not A Home

by: Burt Bacharach and Hal David


A chair is still a chair

Even when there's no one

Sitting there

But a chair is not a house

And a house is not a home

When there's no one there

To hold you tight,

And no one there you can

Kiss good night.

A room is still a room

Even when there's nothing there but gloom;

But a room is not a house,

And a house is not a home

When the two of us are far apart

And one of us has a broken heart.

Now and then I call your name

And suddenly your face appears

But it's just a crazy game

When it ends it ends in tears.

Darling, have a heart,

Don't let one mistake keep us apart.

I'm not meant to live alone.

Turn this house into a home.

When I climb the stair and turn the key,

Oh, please be there still in love with me.

More by this Author


Comments 95 comments

VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 5 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Oh, this really gave me a glimpse of your George's beautiful spirit! I liked the one about the falling sun and the magic of you both. Thanks for sharing this, and hugs to you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

VioletSun - Thank you, my dear. He wrote some lovely poetry during his long life, but was not a prolific poet. So I was pleased to run across these which I hadn't seen before. I need to publish more of his work.

The falling sun one was just jotted on a page in a small spiral memo book with other notes and jottings. He was always drawing ideas for some gadget he might design, writing titles for companies he might start to market them, listing song titles he wanted to remember to play on his harmonica, especially when his memory had become so flakey.

The other poems were on a sheet of paper stuck in a coffee-table art book. Actually they were possibly meant to be one, but seemed like two separate thoughts to me.

He had lived in this house a couple of decades before he was widowed so it has many nooks and crannies with bits of his life in them. Discovery continues. He was inventive, artistic with photography, loved music and language (and me!), gardened, played golf and loved fishing, did woodworking and so many facets. He usually just went quietly about his interests. His aura was full of light and warmth.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Nellie,

I was so moved this morning and I could feel the love you have and shared with your George. The poems were precious. I feel honored that you shared them with us today. I pray you have a restful weekend..No bad weather :( but sunshine to enjoy. I can only imagine when you two stepped into a room how it must have shined.

God Bless,

Sunnie


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

What beautiful memories you have, and such beautiful words to hold dear to you..This hub is filled with words of tender love and gentle praise. Thank you for sharing it with us, and know that you are not alone and that we care, I too know these feelings...Sometimes raw and most times sweet, let the Angels continue to guide you,

Take care,

MM


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

A house is only wood and nails without Nellieanna sitting there,or HubPages either.;)


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 5 years ago from Los Angeles

My dear Nellieanna

It takes a special person to turn a house into a home and both of us were very lucky to have had such wonderful husbands. Their spirit is still alive and I can feel Stan’s presence no matter how empty his chair may look to others.

The house of my soul is a shrine of precious memories and I know how much you cherish yours. The first one of George’s poems is just so incredible beautiful that it makes him deserving of being called a poet; quantity never counted for nothing, quality always did.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Nellieanna - it appears from his wrtings that George had the heart and soul of a poet. As well as exceptional taste in choosing you, my dear.

What an outstanding pleasure it must have been to discover these poems you had not seen before. It was a pleasure for me, too, to read them. Thank you for sharing this lovely, poignant piece of your life with your readers.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Now it all fits into place. He and you were kindred spirits, if only in the poetry that you both have created. I know there isn't the same structure, but the inner message and beauty shines through as one light... not two.

A really lovely hub.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Sunnie - thank you. This and the other comments give me such warmth. I am looking forward to a good weekend, though I often say out loud, "I want my George back!" This is not new, though. I've felt that way for almost three years. Still, his presence is felt and I know he's near. The weather couldn't be lovelier, with sunshine and balmy temperatures.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Maggie-May. I appreciate your words so much. I do know I'm not alone in a sense of being lonely. The angels do watch over and the memories are sweet. There can be no regrets when a good life has been shared, as ours was.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mentalist, my dear friend. What a lovely thing to say. You have a way of saying something encouraging in such nice words! Thank you -- big hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Petra - your words above all touch me deeply, knowing how recently you went through having your "right arm" torn off. I do, indeed, feel Geoge's presence all the time. I can almost breathe his essence.

Thank you for your response to his poems. I couldn't agree more that the first one is just so beautiful. He had the soul of a poet - and certainly, quantity is not the measure of it. I'm so proud of him. He often shared with me the scenarios which inspired him to write a poem, and I can almost envision how these were inspired and jotted down in that little notebook.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

DRBJ - yes he did have the heart and soul of a poet - incredibly beautiful, filled with wisdom, gentleness, love, and when called for, fierce passion. He understood the message from Shangrila, though: - "moderation in all things." I was glad he chose me, with all my oddities. But what made me fall in love with him was when he demonstrated that he actually PERCEIVED me. Wow. It's my pleasure to share this part of him here. He was a beloved man by many folks.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ian - so glad you came by! We did share some poetic traits in many ways. I can't wait to gather some of his others and share them. It's like his own message still speaking. Thank you! Hugs.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

I'm not going to be on HP much longer,,, wait till you read the message I sent to the powers that be.

Tee hee!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

you were lucky to have had him Nellie and he sure was veryu very lucky to have had you.

i wish i was closer to you f geographically Nellie. wanted to give you a hug.

God bless you Nellie.sure he wouldn't mind if i fell in love with you?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ian - I'll be crying. . . . :(


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Neelesh - awwwww - that's so sweet of you. I could use that hug! I think he'd take it in stride and you and he would become great friends.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

He must have been a lovely man. Thanks for sharing a few glimpses with us Nellieanna.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK

An obviously good, talented man... whom fate rewarded with a good, talented woman... A lucky man :-)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Good morning Nellieanna. Thank you for sharing the poetry of your George. Your time and meter and rhyme together must have been sublime. All the best of everything on this Mother's day weekend. I'll think of George's words this evening as the sun trades places with the moon and the maiden wades into the lake. Hugs.


arb 5 years ago

"In a soulmate we find not company but a completed solitude." Sometimes when we are alone, we discover the place, where we are least alone. I pray in such a place, a smile will settle on your face and warm your heart as you bask in the glow of a fire that will not die and there, once again, the two of you may talk of things, that love can not forget. :)


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

He wrote such soulful poetry. I hope his beuutiful writing is a comfort to you.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Hi Nellieanna,

What a beautiful hub in every sense of the word.

Hubpages is such a beautiful place to be in. Where else would I be able to read words as beautiful as these, and to get to know you Nellianna and to share a glimpse that you and your soulmate shared .

He is still with you in your heart and his beautiful words still give so much pleasure to so many.

Lots of hugs and love your way Nellieanna and George.

They may be gone from our homes but never from our hearts.

This one I push all buttons and bookmark.

Take care and God Bless you my friend.

Eiddwen.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It looks like George, in his quiet way, still speaks to you, Nellieanna. His own words, in his own style of quiet warmth, in a surprise, waiting for you to discover. Thank you for sharing this beautiful personal experience. It leaves all of us here touched by an angel.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Nellie should you come down towards Austin please let me know, I would love to meet you and share some coffee with you..

Sunnie


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Christopher, thank you. He was a lovely man. I shared because he would have liked meeting my friends here. Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dimitris, thank you, dear heart. I'm really glad to see you. Love you. I feel honored that you came!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Gerry, yes, we had an unusually good relationship which we both knew to appreciate. I'm touched that you'll be thinking of his words. He loved sunsets and sunrises, as well as stars. I love that imagery he created.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

chspublish, thank you. It is a comfort, as are all the many things which remind me of him. We were inseparable, though we each respected the other's space. But after nearly 30 years of being together, there is little we didn't' share in some fashion.

How glad I am that you came by! I'm delighted to discover you and look forward to reading your work. The children's stories sound enchanting. (I had to go peek at your profile!)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

My dear Eiddwen - thank you for the beautiful response. He really would have loved HubPages. He was not into most online interaction because he loved one-on-one exchanges and to him, most online social groups seemed too shallow. But he was a marvelous writer of prose, which was his real forte, and loved language. All this would have been like a feast to him.

Yes - he is very present in my heart.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Amy, dear new friend, thank you. Yes, he does still speak to me, more than you can imagine. I have to laugh, because he'd often preface something with "I don't want to pontificate, but. . . " and then we knew he would, but in the kindest of ways. He had much wisdom gleaned over 86 very full years.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sunnie, George's two granddaughters and his great grandson live in Pflugerville and I usually go down with George Jr. for the winter holidays and Logan's birthday. Maybe you and I could meet during one of those visits! I'd love that! Logan will be 11 Labor Day.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Oh that would be so nice...just email me and we will plan a date..that is just up the road..My neice and nephews live in Pflugerville..lol such a small world..:)

Enjoy this wonderful sunshine today..

Hugs,

Sunnie


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, it is close! When we're there, we usually do some things in Austin, in fact. I always wait for an invitation, though, before planning to join the family there. There is a LOT of family involved in all the gatherings down there. I love being included. And would really love meeting you!

This weather is just spectacular, isn't it? Our weatherman says we won't be having any more of those 40s and low 50s till September. haha. Not too surprising! What was surprising was having them in May at all!! I'm out of the sweats now!


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Nellie,

Well its a date :)..stay cool, i agree no more cold weather for awhile.

take care and Happy Mothers day to you.

Sunnie


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

It is beautiful, Nellieanna.

The beauty is in the simplicity.

"Love is just a word until you find someone to give it definition."


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

My sweet Nellieanna. I sit here and read George's poems with a heavy heart yet my spirit is lifted up as I carefully watch as you discover this treasure he left behind for you to stumble upon.

You pause with bated breath and time stops for you as both your spirits settle on each others souls as you read his words. What a magnificent thing to share with us all here Nellieanna. I am very touched and I felt his spirit in your words. Peace and hugs from a fellow poet from afar.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sunnie - sounds good! And, by the way, if you're ever in Dallas, I'd love to see you here, too! Thank you for the Mother's Day well wishes. Same to you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Svetlana, dear heart. . . thank you. Yes, it is in the simplicity. I love your statement. Love becomes love only when it's more verb than noun, perhaps. Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ken - how good to see you! Please don't have a heavy heart. One thing George's presence isn't is heavy in heart. The uplift is more typical of him. I love reading his notes, no matter what they're about. They are all so much "him". And the poetry is, especially. Thank you for your loving comments, my friend.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Nellieanna, who/what/how would you have been if George never entered your heart? It seems to me that he satisfied all your needs and eventually left you completely fulfilled. This one explains a successful match in all kinds of love perfectly:

One plus one

Equal two.

And that's the magic

Of me and you!!

Today (Sunday 8 May) is Mothers Day in SA. I want you to know that your presence as a mother-figure (and a very dear friend) in my life, even only imaginatively real, is according to my emotions also a 1+1=2. I believe it was George's love that finally gave you the courage to be your very special self in all circumstances. I wish you a wonderful day.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

It's hard to find the right words except to tell you I'm glad I stopped by to be a part of something so precious and dear as you've shown us your love for George and your grief that he isn't there with you sitting in that now empty chair. He created some beautiful poetry that was meant for you to discover on this very special day! Blessings, Kathi


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Martie - thank you, dearest cyber-daughter! Our Mother's Day will be here in a few hours. Lovely to hear from you! I've thought of you so often!

I can't even think about if George hadn't entered my heart. That he did enter it gave me so much. What we had was a mutual fulfillment and if he were here, I feel sure he would agree. There was much magic in it and each of us felt more courage to be within it, in all honesty. I cannot imagine not having been together and it was a mutual feeling!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Kathi - it's great to see you! It's been awhile. I'm really happy that you stopped by to share this special visit of my George. I do miss him. You found just the right words! Hugs.


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

Beautiful.Memories to remember. Memories to cherish.It reflects what I feel at the moment.

Thank you. Happy Mother's Day.God bless.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Theseus - thank you. Your comments and your profile show you to be a kindred spirit! I'm delighted to know you!


Merlin Fraser profile image

Merlin Fraser 5 years ago from Cotswold Hills

What a wonderful couple you must have been and I'm glad you have such wonderful memories to treasure and please you share them with us.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

My dear Merlin, thank you. We really were an especially well-matched couple. Having and sharing some of those memories with my wonderful online friends here at HP is such a pleasure for me!

Hugs.


Loveslove profile image

Loveslove 5 years ago from England

Wonderful...A lovely Hub XX


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

What a beautiful man he was! Thank you for sharing his precious poetry with us. The entire Hub is lovely, the video, words, photos, everything. SIGH......


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Loveslove - Thank you, lovely lady! I'm so pleased you liked it!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hyphenbirid, what a pleasure to see you here. I'm delighted that you like my hub! Thank you!


shanaya profile image

shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

“A house is made of walls and beams;

A HOME is built with love and dreams”

Everybody should understand the difference between HOME & a HOUSE.

A very nice POEM written by a very LOVELY LADY:)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shanaya, what a gracious comment. Thank you. I have to decline any credit for that quotation, as much as I like it. I found out it's attributed to "Unknown". The other poetry in this hub was written by my late husband, except for the lyrics of "A House Is Not A Home" by Hal David. You've placed me in very good company! Thank you for all this, as well as the follow and fan mail!! I'm honored!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

Beautiful and heartwarming, and I'm so sorry for your loss. When did he pass away nellie?? Was it recently? He seemed to be a great writer such as yourself, and the the House is not a home poem, is perfect for you two. That is now my favorite poem, thanks for introducing me to it. I wish you the best and courage to live the rest of your life as best you can. One plus one equals two, but one minus one can too, for he will forever live in your heart, and you shall meet again as angels in the sky and heaven above.


brennawelker profile image

brennawelker 5 years ago

Great hub.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 5 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

Beautiful! And thanks for introducing me to the song too. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Nikki - thank you for the words of comfort. It will be 3 years on Sept. 5th. He was a truly inspired writer and had the talent for saying so much in so few words. He wrote well in prose, as well, though most of his prose was either business or related to his scientific and inventor interests. His inspiration and depth came out in his lovely poetry. I'll probably share more of it.

Ah yes. "A House Is Not A Home" are words by lyricist Hal David set to music by Burt Bacharach and sung by him in the beginning u-tube in this hub. I'm a big Bacharach and David fan and it's among my favorites. I've loved playing their music on the piano for many years and this one was one of the musical expressions for George and me and our love.

Yes, I will live on well. Thank you for those well-wishes! He'd have it no other way and I am not made for wallowing in pain and loss, even though I have experienced them fully and honestly. One must let go of feelings once they have their time. Loving someone doesn't stop, certainly, nor does missing him, but living must not, either and it can't be fully lived if one is stuck in anguish - or even stuck in past pleasure. He does live in my heart and often it gushes out in tears, but they are not bitter tears, Nikki. His presence really abides in a loving way and I know he wants me to be happy.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you for your visit and comment, Brennawelker. I smiled when I visited your profile page and read that you write about babies - and that you've been in HubPages nine months! :-) My second and third granddaughters are about to give me my tenth and eleventh great-grandchildren! My eldest grand is nearly 17. :-) Hope you visit again!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Majadez - Thank YOU for visiting and for following me, too! It's a lovely song, isn't it?

I look forward to reading your hubs. You're in good company among my S.A. hub friends! Hugs.


Majadez profile image

Majadez 5 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

It's a pleasure!

It truly is a lovely song. I love discovering new good music.

Lately I'm discovering that there's more and more of us aspiring SA writers. Looking forward to interacting with the HP community.

More hugs. ;)


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

ah, I think you should, Id like to read more of his, these are very similar to your writing style. At least you're past the grieving period, for some people 3 years isnt nearly enough, but im like you, I'm not meant to wallow in the past, at least not with death, I handle death pretty well, but I know I will be a wreck if my parents die, I cry just thinking about it. but death is inevitable. it happens to us all, and all we can do is Live, and I like you choose to do so. He would want you to be happy, and keep him in your memory, as long as you live your life, he'll be happy. watching over you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Majadez - that's wonderful. George & I shared a love of music and both discovering and keeping favorites. We'd play "song games" when traveling to see how many songs we could think of - and sing - with a certain theme or word. Or we'd try to catch each other with a song the other didn't know. He was 10 years my senior, so he had a bit of a different era, though it was in my favor, because my siblings were in his era and I knew all those songs, but he hadn't always kept up with later songs I knew. hehe

I play the piano and he played a lovely harmonica. I have to read every note but he played by ear, & was always making lists of old songs to play, especially when his memory capability became impaired following a heart attack he survived, but had been dead for moments, so that his brain didn't get oxygen. I affected his short-term memory, but that has odd connections when remembering things in the present.

His playing was very melodious and lovely. I have stage fright when it comes to playing, so he would stay in the adjoining room (connected with a through-the-wall fireplace and vestibule) when I'd be playing so he could play along without distracting or unnerving me. :-) Gradually I got OK with him coming in and listening.

Lovely memories.

And I just love the SA writers I know on here. TonyMac and Martie - do you know them? Glad to add you to that very special list!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Nikki - it's amazing that we share some similarities in writing. A major difference is that I have written so prolifically and his were so few. Quality, as Petra mentioned, is the main thing, though.

My grieving hasn't changed all that much, except for the very first. Death has taken so MANY of my beloveds, both family and dear, dear friends. The pain of dealing with death sort of wears off. It is so unquestionably final. But I've also lost some most beloveds who didn't die and that is different. Either way, though, one's own choice is to LIVE on and make the most of one's own life. Sometimes it is because it's what one's loved one would want, but there are even times when it's exactly the opposite of what someone involved in the loss would like for one to do. I've experienced that, too. I found it not only to be a victory or triumph, but really - just the same challenge in a slightly different package.

My George championed me in every way, every day I knew him. It would be preposterous to think he'd feel any different now. I'd be doing him a disservice if I moped and groaned. :-) He loved my smile! I wouldn't dare go around frowning. Even when I shed tears, I am not mournful.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

IVe lost loved ones both ways too, and it hurts everytime, but eventually you heal. Thank you for healing Nellie. I like your smile as well. so smile on!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Aw, Nikki - thank you. Healing teaching us that we are not so easily broken, so that we enter into loss more whole as we've been growing more whole through experience. It's not as if it is easier to lose someone, but knowing healing is coming allows it to begin sooner. You have a lovely smile, too!


Majadez profile image

Majadez 5 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

I haven't really met them yet although I have read some of their hubs.

I adore music and have always wanted to play. I learnt some piano last year but neglected it for almost a full year and when I tried to play a few weeks back I was shocked by how mush I'd fallen behind. I have to sit and think about the notes a bit before playing, whereas it came quite naturally before. I guess like anything, it takes practice and dedication. I can't wait until I have the time to start up again.

George sounds like he was a fantastic person to be around. I read a quote the other day that said something along the lines of: what are if nothing more than a collection of memories?

Pleasant memories make life worth living.

Here's to more of them!

Maja


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Well, then, Maja, - if you've read some of their hubs, you're getting acquainted. They are both so worth reading and make it clear how much they love their country and are so knowledgeable about it.

I've played piano ever since I can remember and was getting pretty good till I froze up on a recital when I was about 12 and couldn't remember or play a note of "Moonlight Sonata", which I'd learned so well I could play it blindfolded and it sounded really good. Since then, I just cannot memorize music, though I memorize other things. I must read all the notes. But I kept playing and got pretty good again, though I realize I am not a virtuoso.

At times in my life, I've not had access to a piano, but when I got back to one, I played as well as before, and kept gaining on it. My latest experience, though - after George died, I just didn't feel like playing much, and then I got into Hubpages and it occupied so much of my time. When I sat down to play, I really had lost a lot of my technique, of which I'd been rather proud. So now, for some time, I've made myself a promise to play something every day, though I haven't spent an entire day playing as I have done in the past. I think that is what I need. But I have mostly needed to discipline myself to not look at the keys (which is really hard to do when one is reading the notes too!) and that is helping. Also - I named one of my teddy bears "Bearthoven". He sits on my chair to remind me to practice. hehe - and he's such an appreciative audience.

I have two pianos, but George gave me a lovely Yamaha "Grand Piano" keyboard (almost full-size) which I prefer to play, since my pianos are in need of tuning. haha. When I hear a bad note, it throws me off completely.

Anyway - do not be discouraged! Just stay with it and you will get back your touch. Regular playing is a big help. Even five minutes a day will loosen up the fingers and the hand-mind coordination.

Memories are lovely, but the here and now is where we make them. :-)


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Coming across George's words is a lovely find. Now, I can see you in each other much more clearly. You two gazed at the same sky and lived in the same 'place' - home.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thanks for noticing, and yes we did, Alexandra. We played a lot, too. I wonder about couples who don't seem to have fun - just with each other. We always did. There were some very serious things in our life, but we played & enjoyed mostly. We were silly at times, with imaginations and fun-loving flowing freely. If either of us looked out and saw a lovely sunset, we'd call the other to come see - and we always did. So many things like that.

Early on, we'd sit propped up on my bed which faced a big picture window in my apartment, and though the view was of the brick side of the next apartment building, we pretended to be in a space ship zooming around, exploring space. Or we'd sit in my living room which faced the courtyard and make up stories about the residents on the opposite row of apartments. This was long before the easy methods of recording, but we recorded "newscasts" about them, with commercial & weather report interruptions. He was 58 and I was 48, so I guess we'd never fully grown up.

We always had music around us, even when building the cabin at the ranch. By then, I'd gotten a VCR camera and made some documentaries about the procedure - always music in the background, as well as the constant wind out there. We had so much fun! Maybe it was due to both of us being Aquarians. hehe.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Nellieanna, this is what life is about! Playing is so important! I think it's what helps us problem solve and create other more 'serious' things. Aquarians are a lot of fun. I can count a couple among my very dearest friends and yes, we played and learned and grew and challenged each other every day. I'm one of those analytical Scorpios but tempered with a Gemini moon which could explain my "Oh! and what about this? Lets try that!" outlook LOL. If you can't laugh and have fun, what's it all about?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

How about that! I have Gemini rising and a Sagittarius moon. As you know, Gemini keeps one on one's toes! Sagittarius is so quick, though, it won't let one stay in one position long! George's other influences were Libra and Virgo - we were far from identical. Made it more interesting! :-)

YES! Playing is healthy, physically and mentally. As I look through George's things - and he left LOTS of tracks! - I'm so aware of how playful, inventive and original he was. I knew it, of course, but his notes and things are a trail of it. He loved to laugh and enjoy.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Okay now this is getting weird LOL. I have Sagittarius rising along with my Gemini moon. This could explain a lot :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, my goodness! That is downright spooky! (in a nice way!)


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

He was a wonderful man with so much heart and so gifted to be able to express all this in poems. He was so much like you and you must have had a wonderful marriage. I am so glad. Thank you for sharing these heartfelt poems.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

HELLO-HELLO, thank you for that! Yes, he was all that! We had a lovely relationship. True kindred spirits. I appreciate your visit and comments!


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Well Nellianna first of all congrats on reaching the big 500 club, there can't be many others in it and you should feel proud to have attained such a massive following. I suspect that number crunching isn't at the top of your priority list, but well done just the same.

You can understand so much about your George just from those wonderfully penned words. No wonder you are sad reflecting on those times when you were together. Two poets in the same house, what a creative den you had. His integrity shines through, as does yours with your fond reflections and your wonderful warmth radiates through hubpages like a cosy fire. Cheers from your Aussie friend.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

AttemptedHumour, dear friend. Thank you for the congratulations, and especially for the perception. You're so right that numbers are not my focus, though I appreciate the kind folks following me - individually.

I know, George comes through in his words. There is enough joy in having had him with me to balance sadness now. Thank you and cheers to you!


lazko profile image

lazko 5 years ago from the Earth

The hub reminds me about my house and my mother. I used to take care of her while she was ill, definitely now I understand the meaning of a chair is still a chair … Great hub. Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Lazko, thank you for the visit - and the fan/follow!

Yes, if one has experienced the loss of a loved one whose chair is now empty, it is a vivid sense of the person and his or her absence. Sorry to hear you lost your mother, too.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I love this poem... I don't have words to express. It's just beautiful. Thank you for sharing Nellieanna.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Katherella - Thank you so much. George's poetry speaks to me deeply and seem to bring him near. He didn't write as much as I, but his words were quite memorable! Glad you stopped by!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

Everything you've written about George makes me certain he was truly your soulmate. Sharing this poem he wrote only adds to that assurance. I'm glad his writing and your own warm memories of him bring him close to you, Nellieanna. He may not be sitting in that chair now, but he's in your heart and mind always. JAYE


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, George was my soulmate and surely one of the best men ever to walk the earth. He is very much in my heart and mind! Thank you, Jaye!


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

Nellie, It is always a walk of gracefulness when I visit your hubs. A sense of relaxation and solitude!!! First class writing!!

smiles :)

bella


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Bellawritter - Thank you! That is so gratifying to think my hubs supply such lovely senses! I appreciate that! Hugs.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

oh you are a beautiful creative inspiring artist I say is my muse

wow

as was these words that really touched me

Quietly watching

As the evening slowly

Gave birth to the night.

The sun paused for

Just a moment

On the horizon -

Much like a lady

Thank you for you

love

kimberly


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

My dear Kimberly - I'm thrilled with your appreciation of those lovely words, but all these on this one hub were written by my beloved late husband, George, and merely put together by me! I'll happily share museship with him! Thank you so much for visiting both this and my other hubs featuring my own poetry. You're such a dear to respond like this! Hugs.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

oh bless the gift he left you that you shared with us

what a gift you have let us share with you

thank you so much


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah - thank you, Kimberly. He did have a gift. He didn't write so prolifically as I, but there are some more of his which I intend to share. He was quite a guy, for sure! Hugs.


Lady_Tenaz 5 years ago

This made me cry, tears of sadness mixed with happiness too. I was sad that you lost your love, your partner, your friend (as I can relate in so many ways) but happiness as you shared such a wonderful love indeed. Happiness that you have his beautiful words to read over and over and reminisce. Happiness that you have held him in your heart and carry him still today with who you are, how you live and your poetry as well. You are truly a wonderful person Nellieanna and I am so happy that you shared these beautiful poems with the world. You two were quite the pair I can imagine, and both great poets!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Sorry, Nellie, for high-jacking you lovely hub, but I just wanted to say that this is one of the loveliest comments that your hub really deserves. So eloquent and yet so sincere.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Lady_Tenaz, yes, yes. I feel his presence so often sill. He had such wit and humor, humanity and wisdom. He had a glowing aura, literally.

Thank you for your sharing of feelings and lovely compliments! I so enjoy returning to previous hubs and just reveling in them, and this one, especially! You've brought me back to it this lovely September evening!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

My dear Ian - Nothing whatsoever for you to be sorry for! I notice no hijacking! Even if it were so, if it's any of your doing, it's forgiven!

I'm just so pleased you came by and left me a lovely comment. Hugs!

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