A MILLION DREAMS - Dreams Do Come True

I Can't Stop Myself.....

I had visions all day of my life running alongside my other "life" and sort of ending up like the movie "Sliding Doors" starring Gwyneth Paltrow. If I look back to my life twenty years ago it could have ended up in two very different scenarios.

A good friend of mine and "life coach" once made me stand outside in my favorite spot in my yard and yell my dreams to the world loudly without thinking. At that point I yelled, "I want to live all over the world, I want to help people, make a living at something I love, have homes in France, England and Rome. I want to sing, write a novel, produce a documentary one day, maybe have a talk show, produce records for children, protect old people from cons and thieves, write a movie like Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers and publish or showcase my many photographs sitting in about ten boxes! Believe me, there was much more then that but I just can't remember it all!.....ha

Then my friend asked me to plan it all, so I wrote down my "plan" and put everything in columns and tried to decide when I would get to it all. My plan was a good one, but I gave myself way too much to do. I drew a pie diagram on a piece of paper showing my "priorities" in the majority of the pie drawing. Travel, music, writing, photography and family always came up as a bigger chunk of the pie. That's a big pie!!!!!!

I have been to Canada, Paris, Rome and England and I have seen more of England then most people would experience because of family ties there. I lived in Sussex near Paul McCartney for a year and travelled by train to London a lot. I lived in Canada on and off for about five years but never felt attached to it like France and Rome. I rented an apartment in the old city of Rome and fell in love with the city which is usually unlike me because I thrive in a peaceful setting away from chaos. I grew up in the city but now I can't stand the thought of it. I got an offer to model in Paris many years ago after I graduated from highschool and I turned it down to stay close to my elderly father. If I had gone, I never would have married my first husband because he begged me not to leave and I would have been gone for a few years. So I stayed and here I am. Cindy Crawford and the other girl went to Paris without me. I honestly know if I went, I would have stayed in Paris and become a fashion photographer eventually after I tired of modeling which I found really boring. I modeled for Vidal Sassoon for a long time and frankly it made me nauseated but it was good money. I have always wanted to be a fashion photographer, but I was told by an agent "if you want to do that you have to live in New York or Paris. And so it goes......here I am in sunny California photographing all sorts of things I'm interested in or hired for every once in a while.

After I wrote out my plans, my friend the life coach then asked me to look at it all and be the "critic." I looked at the "MILLION DREAMS" that I had written down and he asked me what I saw. I said "this is too much for me to do and I feel overwhelmed!! I can't possibly do all of this and I want everything now! I'm not patient enough for this." He looked at me and smiled because I found my own answer. He then asked me to choose any sort of celebrity or public figure that I can relate to and I chose HOUDINI the magician. Then he asked me why. I said "Because he can disappear whenever he wants to and he can do anything!" Then we both started to laugh because for the moment I felt FREE. The issue was that I never felt "free enough" because of the choices I made in life. My need for stability and a strong family foundation was way more important then traveling the world and becoming Annie Lebovitz or Richard Avedon. I did have dreams of being an actress and singer, but I have already succeeded in those careers enough to where I'm happy about my accomplishments and do not expect any more then that. I never wanted anything more then I already have now and I'm ticking along just like I want to. Making music is close to my heart and I have been fortunate enough to make a living at it and also love what I'm doing. I will continue to make, write and create music the rest of my life because I love it.

Fame to me is like the antichrist because I have seen enough of it to understand how it destroys lives, especially younger people who do not know how to deal with it. The biggest problem I have with fame is losing your privacy and this is something I never want to do. If I could achieve a career and still maintain my private life, that would be bliss. THAT is the hard part, it all comes down to choices. I have been asked to perform in Germany and Paris this Summer and now I'm not so sure I want to juggle everything with the kids yet. I have tried too hard to be here for my daughter until she is of an age where I feel comfortable leaving her a bit more. I have not decided what I want to do yet, so just ticking along until I'm ready.

After my first marriage, I said "I never want to get married again. I want to just have lots of boyfriends (not just one; ha) and concentrate on my career and travel. I had many dates and people asking me out after my divorce. THEN, I "travelled" to England and met my husband now and the rest is history. Things happen for a reason and I have a wonderful family now. This is something I always really wanted more then anything else and now I'm finally seeing how all of my hard work has paid off in my two beautiful, bright children who have already lived in Europe at a young age and know the world is a much bigger place then just California. This is one of the best gifts I could have ever given them and they can choose to live in Europe one day if they want to.

The point of this article is that nomatter how wonderful our lives are, we always wonder what we may have done differently. Although I am extremely happy with my life and achievements it would be interesting to imagine my other life even in my writing. I know that if I ended up in Paris and travelled the world, it is possible that I never would have settled down and had my beautiful children. Part of me is a "wild free bird" who shows her feathers every once in a while but then flies back to the nest to take care of the birdies. For people who know me well, this is when I'm truly happy.


Fun To Dream...AND Make Things Happen...

And so it goes, we all have that other life we could have lived. My life is not over and I have visions of my future and I will one day cover my extensive list that I yelled out one day in my yard looking up at the sky and smelling the ocean nearby. I will channel Houdini and end up in Paris at a moments notice at a VERY cool fashion show with my trusty Canon camera in my GREAT hat and scarf or singing in a place that my father once performed in in the middle of Paris and then "disappear" with lovely Edward the Vampire (who also plays guitar) in the city of Rome where he will pose for me for hours....while I sing in the halls of the Vatican and listen to the awesome echos......ha

Oh yes! We (whoever pops up at the moment) must end up in a lovely old car on the road somewhere like Coco Chanel and her sexy lover (in the newer movie version) looking for the perfect place to land for a picnic, wine and......SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!! ha

A MILLION DREAMS.........


COPYRIGHT

Hub Pages Author - GPAGE

All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in any form or way.

More by this Author


Comments 26 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Indeed you are very fortunate that you make a living making music!!

Oooohh I would love to meet you some day GPage...

When I was young I had as many dreams as you. I do not now.

Thank you, for reminding me.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

msorensson...I think "dreams" keep us going! I can not ever think of a time that I will be sitting still without creating something! Always nice to see you here and thank you for your lovely comment......Best, G


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Dreams are fun and keep us thinking young. I have a list of places I still want to travel and maybe I won't get to all of them but I go every chance I get. I loved your hub.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Pamela....thank you for your comment and I'm glad you enjoyed this hub!

It was fun to write! I too have so many other places I would like to travel 2.....

Nice to see you here! Best, G


HappyHer profile image

HappyHer 6 years ago from Cleveland, OH

AWESOME, you really took me away to that place where my dreams are. I think I'm truly living at least most of mine, but not in ways I had first imagined. Thanks for the inspiration.


Patti Ann profile image

Patti Ann 6 years ago from Florida

Excellent - rated this hub up. You have reminded us all to follow our dreams - it can be done!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

HappyHer....interesting...the way you put it...."not in ways I had first imagined."

It is true that dreams may vary in different circumstances, but it all comes back to what is right in a persons heart and mind and where they are in their "moment"......Sometimes I feel like my dreams are going in and out of time.....strange really....like they appear at magical moments without warning! Anyway, always lovely to see you! G


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Patti Ann...So nice to see you here! Thank you so much for the positive comment!!!!!! Best, GPAGE


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

That's the one thing about fame I would deplore, and that's the constant and very difficult to manage intrusion it has on one's life. I often say that the biggest curse of anyone famous is the relentless fan who drives him into the shadows.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Interesting that you are here Springboard! I have been thinking of stopping by your hubs these past few days...you have come to mind lately...will do so soon....Thank you for stopping in and leaving your comment!.....Always nice to see you! G


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

Thank you for this excellent piece. It is great that you chose a middle path,and that you are happy with your choices. That is a contentment many do not realize. Your accomplishments are awesome, you have a great family, you are a fine artist. What more could one ask for? I enjoyed this very much.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

JAMES! Thank so much for being here ; AND thank you for being the "lovely you."

Thank you ALSO for saying such wonderful things on your comment!!! You are very special and appreciated!!!!! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this 2....Gx


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii

I can't believe we wrote about dreams, almost simultaneously. I love your take 'wild bird', your very exciting life, making difficult choices and such love for family. You're amazing, and i'm a fan all over again! I'll post this on my FB, and brag ok? Lol


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

IV! Thank you so much! Lovely to wake up to your wonderful words! We will have that cocoa one day and a Bond Film Fest! ha I love your new pic by the way.......Gx


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

Beautiful, very well written. And the best part is I really enjoy read all the story of million dreams. Good work, my friend. Rated up of course!

Prasetio


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

prasetio!!! Thank you so much for your wonderful and loving words.....so glad you enjoyed this! All the best, G


soumyasrajan 6 years ago from Mumbai India and often in USA

Hi! GPAGE

I enjoy way you make suddenly very casually very philosophical statements. "And so it goes, we all have that other life we could have lived."

yuppe! quite true! Kaash! we could live all of them simultaneously. (Kaash is Hindi word for alas! though in much more optimistic tone than alas )

you say

"My life is not over and I have visions of my future and I will one day cover my extensive list"

may be extend your list include Mumbai. I am in Mumbai most of the time - I can help, though I think you may not need any. I can not guess how you will feel. It does have a big movie industry, so you may feel familiar among them if you know some. May be you earn lot more and fame too. May be you feel like a hobit-Bilbo here? (UK, France Italy any way you know well, UK even much more)


dreamreachout 6 years ago

Dreams in other words: Ambition and aspiration!! The definition makes the thought about your hub very true!!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

soumyasrajan....thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I really enjoy reading them! I would love to come there one day! Sounds exciting! I'm not acting as much anymore, but definitely active in the music industry as a performer, songwriter, producer and singer....would love if some of my music gets heard over there......right now I get letters from quite a few places in Europe, but not where you are.....would also love if you introduce my writing here to your friends there since this is something that is dear to my heart and I'm working on a bigger future in this medium along with my music and photography.......I will send you some links to my music if you would like.....ofcourse if I'm ever over there, I will send you a message.......

I love this word Kaash! Fantastic! Best, GPAGE


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

dreamreachout....thank you for such a wonderful positive comment!!!!! Also, thanks for stopping in!!! Best, GPAGE


soumyasrajan 6 years ago from Mumbai India and often in USA

Thanks GPAGe. Oh! Sure I will talk to my friends about your hubpages. You do not have to even ask about it. I think there must be your music fans in India also. Lot of people hear so regularly Western music and there are so many channels playing 24 hours Indian or Western music.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

soumyasrajan...thanx again for stopping by! Always nice to see you! G


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

well my dreams did come true Miss Gardner - I met with you and was inspired by your writing - and you have supported me with your commentary - like the old saying about good writers - it takes one to know one!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California Author

Thank you epigramman! You are so special I mentioned you in my newest hub, you "Hubster" you! Thank you so much for being you! Best, GPAGE (Miss Gardner for you ;)


Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 5 years ago from New England

Thanks for sharing this fun article. Voted Up, Useful, and Awesome. I think I'll do some dreaming, too....or follow my list of things I want to accomplish this year.

My main dream is to write a successful children's story to support all the lovely things I want to do with my daughter, like home-schooling, cooking, membershipss to museums and botanical gardensl, etc. :0)


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Seafarer Mama...I'm so happy you liked this article! I am glad it inspired you. My sister home-schools my nephews. I love gardens and the children's book sounds lovely! I wrote a children's book about my son many years ago but never pursued publishing it. I also wrote a book about teen romance and it got some notice, but I went on to other projects.....LOVE museums and cooking too! I wrote another hub about my garden here called MY ZEN GARDEN....you may like my garden pics on the hub.....Best, GPAGE

http://hubpages.com/living/MY-ZEN-GARDEN

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working