A Mind in Fragments: Consumed by Despair & Confusion
My mind is in fragments, like shattered glass; dispersing in thousands of pieces. What I once thought was inherently right or wrong & good or bad has now become a gray area; one that confounds me. Also, as it would seem, I cannot completely ignore my subjective emotions or desires. Neither can I ignore the objective truths in this world or know all objective truth.
One thing is for certain; however, is that "IRONY" seems to take precedence & orchestrate nearly every situation. Unfortunately, irony has never been my ally. In fact, it has probably screwed me over more ways than one. It is my enemy! Irony, an invisible intangible force, yet such a powerful one that often goes unseen by many. The answers I seek & desires that I wish to fulfill seem light years away.
Strange coincidences continually occur. The universe seems to show subtle signs to me, but ultimately, they lead me nowhere, or I simply hit a brick wall or face a mystery that I cannot solve. So much conflict is present in my mind, it's as though I harbor two or more people in this body. I cannot understand these conflicting & paradoxical thoughts, for they are well beyond my comprehension.
I'm an outsider looking in, an observer in the shadows, a flame with no fire, a fighter without a sword, and a passive fool that sits on a stool in a pool of drool; afraid to rule. Have I entered madness or is it merely sadness? Have I cast my last breath or past another test with unseen zest? Am I simply a pawn with brawn? I desire to experience thrill, but I'm too chill to kill my inhibitions. I must transition into a position, rather than remain in my condition, for no ignition means no fruition. The duration of my isolation brings no elation; only desolation with revelations that contain frustration. My introspection will either help me fly or cause me to fall into the dry, where there are no more cry's. . .
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