A Mind in Fragments: Consumed by Despair & Confusion

My mind is in fragments, like shattered glass; dispersing in thousands of pieces. What I once thought was inherently right or wrong & good or bad has now become a gray area; one that confounds me. Also, as it would seem, I cannot completely ignore my subjective emotions or desires. Neither can I ignore the objective truths in this world or know all objective truth.

One thing is for certain; however, is that "IRONY" seems to take precedence & orchestrate nearly every situation. Unfortunately, irony has never been my ally. In fact, it has probably screwed me over more ways than one. It is my enemy! Irony, an invisible intangible force, yet such a powerful one that often goes unseen by many. The answers I seek & desires that I wish to fulfill seem light years away.

Strange coincidences continually occur. The universe seems to show subtle signs to me, but ultimately, they lead me nowhere, or I simply hit a brick wall or face a mystery that I cannot solve. So much conflict is present in my mind, it's as though I harbor two or more people in this body. I cannot understand these conflicting & paradoxical thoughts, for they are well beyond my comprehension.

I'm an outsider looking in, an observer in the shadows, a flame with no fire, a fighter without a sword, and a passive fool that sits on a stool in a pool of drool; afraid to rule. Have I entered madness or is it merely sadness? Have I cast my last breath or past another test with unseen zest? Am I simply a pawn with brawn? I desire to experience thrill, but I'm too chill to kill my inhibitions. I must transition into a position, rather than remain in my condition, for no ignition means no fruition. The duration of my isolation brings no elation; only desolation with revelations that contain frustration. My introspection will either help me fly or cause me to fall into the dry, where there are no more cry's. . .

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word55 19 months ago from Chicago

Hey David, very interesting article here. Thanks for keeping it short, to the point and very poetic (a pleasant surprise). You wrote about a person that is spiritually lost that is turned by the tides of satanic forces that are real. Emotions are too involved here. The flesh is being taken advantage of. So many lives are wasted because they fail to yield to the commands of the God that loves them. We were not created to govern our own lives but to live under the direction of the True God for our own good. Such a person needs to read scriptures daily. The magazine "Our Daily Bread" is a good guide to follow and reading daily scriptures. That is our drawing board to a contented life. Thanks for the share.


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grand old lady 19 months ago from Philippines

I think this is very well written, but I have issues with the last paragraph. When you describe a mind in fragments, you describe a condition where thoughts dominate and take over, whether the thoughts are valid or not. My issue with the last paragraph is the use of rhyme, which replaces the appearance of spontaneity and lack of control in the first parts. It seems a bit contrived. But it is otherwise a fine article, and I can understand the condition you describe.

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