A Night, a Porch, the Sky, and the Moon ( written 2/17/11 )

A night...


A porch...


The sky...


And the moon....




-



Its 9:48 in the evening , it feels later than midnight

A full moon floating above, to fill my impaired sight

Free roaming clouds surround a distant globe so bright

The darkness around me surrenders to moonlight


-


On my desolate porch I’m standing

A long day’s memory subsides

My full attention, the moon demanding

This interstellar creator of tides


The sky never ceases to amaze me

Boasting vast shades of blue, black, and grey

On nights like these, I fear that I’m crazy

My wandering thoughts tend to draw me away


Away from a planet infested with demons

Toward a dreamlike state, enveloped in bliss

Separated from an Earth filled with omens

Comfortably drifting into lunar abyss


-


Its 10:18, and heavenly stars are aligning

I’m in awe of these inner thoughts that I’m finding

Upon my porch, the moonlight is shining

I’m rather amazed that my words are still rhyming


-



Sobriety left me when I walked through my door

Memories haunting luminescent horizons

Experience taught me, when it rains, it may pour

I’m reminding myself to let bygones be bygones


The past is behind us, but hearts have been broken

I am presently drifting in idle repetition

What was done is fulfilled, what’s said has been spoken

Beliefs have been twisted beyond recognition



-



Its now 10:52, and my mind has never been clearer

Sunrise is approaching, drawing ever nearer

Behind my reflection, she lives in a mirror

She left long ago, but I swear I still feel her


- - -


© copyright Ben D.A 2011


Comments 40 comments

Brownpaperbaggirl 5 years ago

Lovely... "Behind my reflection, she lives in a mirror / She left long ago, but I swear I still feel her."


nameless 5 years ago

wow.. this was the first poem of yours you made me read.. im not good wit words so all i have to say this that it puts me in a peacefull and wonderfull state of mind and makes me wonder bout how smiple life should be.

i’m reminding myself to let bygones be bygones

The past is behind us, but hearts have been broken

it puts me in aww how you can put words together like that.. and make them mean so much.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Granny - Thanks for all your comments, and I appreciate the compliments

sarahowen - thank you as well for all the comments, please feel free to follow me


sarahowen profile image

sarahowen 5 years ago from uk

intense beauty


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 5 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Ben, Great write. i felt like I was on that porch with you. I think I have been there many times


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

blaise - that is flattering indeed! thanks a lot! :]

I never even considered a sequel...hmmm


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 5 years ago from close to you...

You left me breathless. So beautiful! Me thinks I gotta read this again tonight..in the porch..with the moon..and the starry night..

Loved it from the start til the end. You know what I'd love more? A continuation of this ;) I love to read more please :D


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Minnetonka - this remains my highest viewed and most commented poem

one of my favorites, but I have been writing a lot lately...I mean a LOT haha

Thank you so much


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Ben, this is the first poem I have read of yours and I am so impressed. This poem brought me through your journey on that eve with a full moon. I was captivated by your words and your ability to rhyme without effort. So glad I found you on Hubpages via Epigramman.


Paws For Peace profile image

Paws For Peace 5 years ago

Purrrrr. Whiskers are a twitching.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - you flatter me :]

Magick - meow meow meow, mew, meoww, mreow. :]


Paws For Peace profile image

Paws For Peace 5 years ago

Ben,

This cat is a fan of heartfelt poetry. I agree with

Twilight there is a maturity in the words. I totally loved it.

Magick


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Rereading it, I'm still awestruck. And I like that you like it so much!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Twilight - that was a wonderfully flattering comment, much appreciated. I absolutely love getting feedback like that from someone who has just started reading my writing. :]


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Ben, I am amazed at the maturity and wit and depth of your work. I concur with the divine Nellieanna. She has said all I would have said... I am in awe of this, the first I have read of yours.

This verse made me speak out loud to myself:

Its 10:18, and heavenly stars are aligning

I’m in awe of these inner thoughts that I’m finding

Upon my porch, the moonlight is shining

I’m rather amazed that my words are still rhyming

One word, my talented friend: "Brilliant".


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thank you verrrry much erth :]

I am so glad you feel that way, this remains one of my favorites


erthfrend profile image

erthfrend 5 years ago from Florida

AMAZING!!!! Love it, love it, love it! I feel the same way as you, I can get lost in the mysterious, intriguing night sky. You kept me captivated throughout and I could feel what you were feeling. Excellent writing!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thank you very much :]


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Love the contemplative tone of this. My favorite lines were these:

"Behind my reflection, she lives in a mirror

She left long ago, but I swear I still feel her"


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellieanna - you're a pretty freakin awesome lady yourself :]


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

How good that you visited and saw his writings on here, Geno and Cristy. He is obviously a pretty darn good kid, too! ;-)


Geno and Cristy 5 years ago

If you weren't our kid, we might be crazy enough to flatter you and say you have some incredible talent. But since you are, we'll just say, "You're pretty darn good, kid"


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thanks nighthag, this one is one of my very favorites ever :D

And the inspiration for it came from simply standing on my porch, witnessing a moon surrounded by clouds..and the gears started turning...FAST

I love that kind of random, raw inspiration to write

Thanks again, if I recall you were the first person to comment one of my Hubs. Or one of the first, at least. :]


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

this was breathtaking, you are a true artist of words!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

You have done well to interwine you mindset with the moon and sky showing how the relationship takes you to another place beyond the world. I sense that your emotions bring you back inside yourself to share those feelings with the reader. You still have things to say there...let them go. Life experiences will start to season your work over time...just keep on writing! Check my hub..."Bar Reflections" and you will get a sense of changing perspectives that come over time. Thanks for sharing! WB


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

your welcome. theres like 3 of mine i put up today you need to go read and comment on lol


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - I'm awed by your comment, your writing, and your apparently beautiful soul. You flatter me greatly!! Thank you sooo much :]

Nikki - Thanks again, for all the comments you have left on my writings...and yes, this is my absolute favorite of mine, ever. :] :]


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

this is definitely a favorite. wow makes me wish i was on that porch with you. the moon was beautiful last night. I loved how u described it. and i love the last lines "Behind my reflection, she lives in a mirror, She left long ago, but I swear I still feel her" simply amazing for lack of a better word.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

You are an amazing writer, Ben. I'm awed. wow. I'm seldom so in awe of someone's expressions. And I think how young you are and it's all coming from your innards without constructs or confines. It's awesome. You do with your words what artists do with canvases, brushes and paints and what virtuosos do with violins, notes and bows, what architects do with bricks, arches and foundations. It's breathtaking.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Idle repetition,without ability of recognition,but for ?.;)


thisismylife9123 profile image

thisismylife9123 5 years ago from Salt lake city, UT

hmm, everyone has that fingerprint left on their heart by a person who had touched them long ago. your writing is like the pure flow of water streaming from a pool of gold. Bravissima, signore.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Yes Ben all writers will have pieces they feel attached to either immediately upon penning it or stepping back and coming back for a review time and time again, while asking ourselves did I write this brilliant piece? lol as well fill our baskets up with torn or crumpled of those we simply find disgusting and useless writes.

enjoy the moment, you will have many of them my young man. Good night my friend, slumber calls me, it is 12:30 a.m and time for dreams. Good night, sleep well.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

sligo - VERY nice :]

saddle - Your comments alone are poetry.

For some reason, I feel like I have never written anything quite like this. Something was just...different, and I can't stop reading it. Ever written something that you instantly fall in love with? haha


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

To linger on a porch under a moonlit night with the stars glittering around the mighty globe is awesome. The ebb and tides within our soul envelopes the water therein and moves our minds to intoxicating heights of ecstasy.

I love open spaces and have many a time slept under the sky and witnessed moving moments in time. We are simple specks of star dust, atoms waiting to return back to the Universal thin vale that opens to another dimension. Loved this poem, well done, brilliant. Bravo.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Mezmerized by gold glowing moon

Intoxicated lovers swoon

Tides of time wash wavelengths of shore

Timeless sphere doth romance implore.

sligobay


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Thanks tndr :]

I reread this 4 times. I rarely get so excited about my own writings haha


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

very intense flowing write! I am impressed!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Pooh - thank you again. A long day, a long night, and some random inspiration fueled this one. After reading it myself a few times, it is my favorite poem I have ever written.

Justin - thanks bro, love you


japtaker profile image

japtaker 5 years ago from United States

That is truly amazing from start to finish. Nothing more to be said.


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

"The past is behind us, but hearts have been broken

What was done is fulfilled, what’s said has been spoken

very concise words conveying emotions as deep as the sky you contemplate. really really good!

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