Emptiness - A Poem

A Poem:?

I was asked to write a poem containing the following words

soul please apple streets secret dark begging fruit heart

I am not sure if I am a poet but let´s try it. Here it is...


in the dark streets

leading to the secret places

of forgotten emptiness

you meet the old wise man

begging for an apple

please, give me this fruit ...

and your heart and soul

will be free

to join the other universe

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Comments 28 comments

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s 7 years ago

wow, this speeks volumes! Nice :)

nextstopjupiter profile image

nextstopjupiter 7 years ago from here, there and everywhere Author

Thanks for the comment, I just decided to became a poet!

kartika damon profile image

kartika damon 7 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

love this! Here I'm giving it a try:

Walking these apple streets

I'm begging for the dark fruit

And my soul asks, please give me the secret

of your soul.

wavegirl22 profile image

wavegirl22 7 years ago from New York, NY

I have to agree with I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s . . .it speaks volumes and then some. I really liked it. . and look forward to your new status as a poet!

nextstopjupiter profile image

nextstopjupiter 7 years ago from here, there and everywhere Author

Thanks, kartika, thanks wavegirl22, for encouragement, let's go on!

kartika damon profile image

kartika damon 7 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

Poets make the world go round and life worth living!

k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Seems you are a poet! You should try it more often. :D

profile image

Ibrahim Berr 7 years ago

Great poem very insightful

prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

wow, nice poem Bernd, I dont knwo that you can write too aside from your music, how are you? Maita

Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 7 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA

You indeed are a poet my friend nextstopjupiter, warm and inviting words!


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

Lovely poem, glad that I stopped in. You say that you don't ordinarily write poetry? Well, you should do it more often!

ddsurfsca profile image

ddsurfsca 7 years ago from ventura., california

I am a poet, and it isn't easy. Yours is very good for a first attempt especially. One thing that might make it easier, is after you are finished, read it outloud, to see if the timing is right. That is half the battle.

Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 7 years ago from Philippines

That' a nice try. Keep it up!

bonny2010 profile image

bonny2010 6 years ago from outback queensland

what do you mean you just decided to become a poet - think you were born one mate - poetry comes in all forms and the one that comes from the heart is the best kind - thank you for this read.

MeditateForPeace profile image

MeditateForPeace 6 years ago from Maine, USA

i want to say i like it, but somehow the regular words beautiful, great... just don't capture.. i wonder what your definition of emptiness is here?

MeditateForPeace profile image

MeditateForPeace 6 years ago from Maine, USA

i think i'm seeing the connection to meditation.. i wonder if you will write a bit explaining the connection so i that i can post the explanation as a comment (or you could) on the Meditate for Peace facebook page where you kindly posted a link to this poem.. just a thought :) very nice work..

profile image

ellinor 6 years ago

That was a good poem, you are always welcome to stop by,have a bed and a meal.Have an excellent day. (location Denmark, not that far away from you)

lxxy profile image

lxxy 6 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

Great way to connect them together!

Awesome poem!

michael's son profile image

michael's son 6 years ago from the mazes of minds

Oh wow this is a great prose. Its message is clear, yet encrypted, It is strong, yet silent, It is without rhyme and a beautiful poem. A lot of people have a problem with prose do to the lack of rhyme, they find it difficult to flow. But this is a flawless execution of a prose. I LOVE IT.

zduckman profile image

zduckman 5 years ago

Beautiful, I love it. thank you.

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Wow! Writing a poem with words given to you is not at all easy. You deserve 'awesome'!

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 5 years ago from India

Bernd - that was awesome :)

carolp profile image

carolp 5 years ago from Switzerland

You did made a beautiful poem out of those words. A nice combination reflecting a thought, a meaning. Thanks for sharing.

NiaLee profile image

NiaLee 5 years ago from BIG APPLE

Saying so much

in a few words

when given

a few words

you just brushed

a whole world

you just opened the door to a new world

apple, old men, wisdom

you gave us some

Thank you so much, your poem meets me where I was standing and wandering, your poem is a real jewel that shines like a star, its light showers me and I say: yes, thank you.

Ardie profile image

Ardie 5 years ago from Neverland

I love this! You were given words and came up with a beautiful poem :)

EuroNinila profile image

EuroNinila 4 years ago from NYC BABY

Nice! I probably wouldn't know what to come up with if I was given words to put a poem together with!

CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City

I just love your poetry its very interesting, and deep, nicely written.

Thumbs up and getting shared for sure, nice!

DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Great imaginations in poetry here thanks

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