A Poem- I Gave My Belief to a Habit
Finding my peace... Finding my reality...
My habit was my need- The need that never told me No...
I gave my belief to a habit,
One day, many years ago.
My habit was my need,
The need that never told me no.
It welcomed me with worth,
And a few moments of clarity,
Then I turned-and began to lose myself,
As I was then lost to reality.
I repeated this nasty habit,
While pretending to be alive,
Every day I pretended,
I moved further from my life.
Did I want to stop?
For a while- it never crossed my mind,
Until I looked into a mirror and noticed,
The girl behind the blinds.
She kind of looked like me,
Although I could not clearly see,
I couldn’t focus on her long enough,
To see if that girl was really me.
I never thought myself to be addicted,
Although I never thought much anyway,
I studied the way people acted,
And taught myself the best way to behave.
Chameleon if you will,
Meant to blend in with everyone else,
Until the day I fell from illusion,
And completely lost myself.
Pretend is the game,
A game I knew the rules to play.
Who really cares if I lost?
No one even knows my real name.
I gave my belief to a habit,
I wore it on my sleeve,
Until my habit took over my soul,
And my habit then wore me.
Lost in desperate times,
I had forgotten how to cry for help,
I suppose if I remembered how,
It would not have change the way I had felt.
It took a while to see past me,
It took a while to learn how to breathe,
I took a while to get back up,
And now-After a while,
I am finally okay with what once was.
When you want to know the truth about addictions- Ask the ones who lived it and struggle with it... More from HubPages
- Addiction And Relationships
In this day and age, many people find it hard just adjusting to a new relationship, never less living with someone that has an addiction. Addiction and relationships are running high in our society these...
- The Anatomy of A Relapse
My heart is heavy now as I tell the story of my decision to drink again. As I look back at this 'choice,' I am more and more convinced that the situation essentially demanded it, though I take full...
More Poetry about Addiction from HC Porter
- This is a Hub about Methamphetamines and How Meth Ef...
The Truth behind methamphetamine and how it effects the lives of the real people it touches. It is a drug used by people from all walks of life.
- 10 Tips for Getting and Staying Sober
10 Tips for Getting and Staying Sober, because it is not just quitting that can be difficult, it is staying sober that remains the real challenge.
- Addict to Addict and Back to Me Again
When a person knows addiction, they don't know who they are. They hurt, they fear, they dread sobriety. Finding the strength is hard, but a wise decision to make- Make it and you will be thankful you did.
- Intervention-Fighting the Disease of Addiction
Addiction is hard enough without the judgement of others who have no idea what it feels like to be lost in that much confusion and pain. The pull from within is terrifying and the fear alone is enough to bring...
More by this Author
H.C Porter puts a humorous spin on the networking powerhouse called Social Media, and speaking from her experience working within the field at Kirk Marketing Solutions as the Online Community Manager. A Poem unique as...
A Poem By Holly Chaffin- As we grow older we often forget what it is like to be a child, as a parent we are introduced to magic once again. Here is some childhood magic I have gained back from my kids
Everyone has heard the saying, Men are Dogs. But have you ever really considered the similarities between Men and Dogs, I have...