A Rose Untouched

  A victim I have become of the sunless sky

Without a pigment of chroma to live by

I stand alone within this dirt ground

As the dirt dried without the color brown

 

My stem growing weaker from dawn to dark

Just a wilted flower no longer a beauty mark

I hang my head low off to the side

Embarrassed to be seen with no place to hide

 

If only the brightest star blared once more

And shinned so bright for everyone to adore

To see how brightly red and perky I could stand

To be trimmed and given with love in hand

 

My days are coming to an end with no more time

Just a wasted pedicle withering in grime

One after the next they start to detach

From my core they flow and  unattach…..

 

bellawritter23(copyright)2011

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Comments 29 comments

Georgiakevin profile image

Georgiakevin 5 years ago from Central Georgia

This is so well written. i tried for a long time to capture what you did. I don't remember how many attempts I threw away because they just didn't say it the way I wanted it to be said. Your poem has. Very well done indeed.


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

Very beautiful bella! :) Keep going girl!


zzron profile image

zzron 5 years ago from Houston, TX.

Very nice and full of visual imagery.


sofs profile image

sofs 5 years ago

Poignantly beautiful. Your choice of words and imagery is amazing. Thanks for sharing Bella!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Off to potpourri heaven you'll go - a fragrance remembered.


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

But even a withering, blackened, grimy rose was once stardust, and will be again someday...


Johnny Love 5 years ago

can I have my breath back please?


skellie profile image

skellie 5 years ago from Adelaide

Beautiful! As in life, very well written poem, Bella :)

Beautiful and up


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

I have to quote Johnny Love: "Can I have my breath back please?" Wonderful!


sharuz profile image

sharuz 5 years ago from UK

Beautiful.....


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 5 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Even without the pictures you conjure up such a vivid image, very well written as always, great stuff :-)


Chriscwarner profile image

Chriscwarner 5 years ago

Way to unfurl an amazing symbol! So haunting and beautiful. What a piece.


No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago

I agree with Chriscwarner...haunting and beautiful...this one hit me deeply...brought tear to the brim...you have a way of doing that, you do!!! Your rhythm and flow with this one is spot on, and your imagery is sublime!


tumblintumblweed profile image

tumblintumblweed 5 years ago

Absolutely beautiful, Bella...Very well written!Up and awesome....


raghavrathi profile image

raghavrathi 5 years ago from Dehradun, Uttarakhand, India.

Awesome!

The feelings flow with such finesse and one can relate to the poem a lot.

cheers,

Raghav.

P.S; just a small piece of advice, there are just a few spelling mistakes in the poem. Please look after that. ;P


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Georg, Thank you very much yes a rose was in mind and I wrote I just kinda went with the concept and it just flowed I appreciate it!!

Hattie, THank you I will reach the top!!! lol

ZZ, Thank you I am gled you enjoyed it!!

Sofs, Thank you for stopping by and taing the time to read :)

Birdie, Awww thanks yes a scent that will never wilt!!

bb, Yes it will be, Thanks Will!!

Johnny, I have sent it back to you lol Thanks for the beautiful comment!!

Skellie, thank you life can be amazing!!

Genna, Thank you very much I appreciate the quote by you and johnny it means a great deal to me.....

Sharuz, Thank you!!

bumpsys, Well thank you I really hope it did, This one was just flowing and I visioned the little lonely rose who was dying!!!

Chris, Thank you I appreciate the wonderful comment.....

No, thank you I can describe how deeply touched with all the wonderful comments they mean so much but you my dear friend have the same effect on me that is undescribeable so the feeling is mutual!!!

Tumblin, Thank you very much, I still have to take some pointers on that painting stuff if you wouldn't mind.....

Rag, Thank you very kindly please do point out my mistakes lol wouldnt want a poem with mistakes ;)

smiles :)

bella


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

you are the rose in the vase sitting on my dresser. withering away...but you will rise again, and grow, into a new, brighter, better rose.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Aww thanks Nikki, This rose is blossoming very pretty lol because the person who picked with thorns and all has accepted it the way it is :D

smiles :)

Thank you

bella


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

as it should be, every rose has its thorns. :)


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

:) Thanks Nikki!!


4elements profile image

4elements 5 years ago

thought it was wonderful .i enjoyed the read


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

4, Thank you very much and thanks for stopping by!!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Beautiful Bella, Beautiful, and a little sad, but still, Beautiful!


chris 5 years ago

what the f is up with the any normal pic of roses


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

B, Thank you as always a plaesure to see yo visited! :)

Chris, ????

smiles :)

bella


Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

profound.. such an beauty poem


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Dark, Thank you I loved this one too!!

smiles :)

bella


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

Oh l loved that... If flowers could talk, l´m sure this poor little rose would have said just what you wrote.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California Author

Dim, Thank you for sure anything can talk they just do it when we are not looking (I may be crazy) ;)

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