A Special Kind of Love

Hello dear Fellow Hubbers,

1986 was a very difficult year for me. I was surrounded by people, yet I was alone. I am an Empath and I feel pain very deeply. I had fibromyalgia and that causes me to experience physical pain 7 times stronger than others without the disease. Therefore I was also depressed.

When I prayed my prayer and I realized the prayer had been answered I wrote this poem.

I am currently in the hospital and I realize that I must say how I feel about all of the help and encouragement I have received. I can not say it enough.

I’m not dying, but what if? Just what if? You would never know the depths your words reach.

I realize that coming to Hubpages is an extension of that answered prayer. I can think of no better way to tell you and share my heart with you.

So here is the poem which is as true today as it was in 1986.


A Special Kind of Love

Once upon a time

Not so very long ago

I had me some troubles

And I wanted to know

If any would help me

From where they would come

For as far as true friends,

I judged I had none.


This poor old body

That held the most of me

Was sick and was tired

Of being the host of me.


I knew that if “I

Did not care for myself at all,

Then surely, no other human

Upon my needs would call.

I was sad. I was lonely

With self imposed despair.

Within my soul my distress was full

No flame of hope was there.


Not accustomed to being the pessimist

And looking on the darker side,

I was real hard hit – on top of it -

The wave … impossible to ride.


“No more!” I prayed

To my Father in heaven above.

“I can not take this pain I have.

Please, shower me with your love.”


Oh God,” I cried,

“Please help me now;

I am in such despair.

The agony within my soul,

I can no longer bear.”


And He in His wisdom,

Gently placed His hands upon my being

With comfort and helped me up to stand.

Up He lifted me once,

And twice and then,

He turned around,

With His love so sound,

And did it once again.


How did He perform this wonderful feat?

How did it all come about?

Well, God in His mercy, His protective care

Never leaves room for doubt.


He used the greatest tool He has

You my friends so dear.

You lifted me up – you encouraged me –

You lessened many a fear.


You might say to yourself

“How can this be?

So very low; we did not know

Yet we helped to set you free!”


God knew that I,

Sad as I had become,

Needed love

And He made my cup to over run.


He knew I needed those

I hold so dear

To express their love to me

And to make it very clear.


Each kind word you said to me,

Each smile along the way

Helped to heal my saddened soul

Lift my spirit, brighten my day.


Each time you came to me

Your kind words to reflect

You helped restore within that soul

My much long needed self-respect.


So if just one thing I can leave with you,

This may it be:

Give to each other – your love your self

Just as you gave to me!

KJM

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22 comments

carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

This is a very beautiful honest poem about your feelings Pixienot. I hope you are soon out of the hospital and home once again. I'm glad you are feeling better. God really does answer prayers.


Jillian Barclay profile image

Jillian Barclay 5 years ago from California, USA

Dear Pixienot,

You have such a beautiful soul! Everytime I look at the picture that you have posted on your profile, I think of what a feeling of comfort and love you must give your family. Just your smile through pain and now your poem tells me I have been correct in my perception of you. Not too many things make me cry (well, that may be a small lie!), but your poem has done that on this Sunday morning. No worries, the tears were the good kind!

Thank you, as always!


Pixienot 5 years ago

Carrie, you are so right... God certainly does answer prayer. Our job is to be still and hear the answer.

Jillian, I am speechless. Thank you so much!


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

This is so beautiful, words written from your heart. You sound as though you are an incredible person who has overcome so much. You have many friends here now - I can tell. We may not physically know you but we feel your warmth and compassion. We are here for you Pixienot.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana

I'm so glad you found an outlet to express your feelings. You have a beautiful soul, mom. :O)


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

"The Wave impossible to ride" what a beautiful line Pixienot. One can see that this poem comes from your heart and so deep within. I am so sorry to hear that you are in the Hospital...We are all here rooting for you...to come home soon! LOL.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana Author

Acaetnna, I am so happy to make such quality friends. It is fun and healthy to commune with those who love writing as I do. Thank you for your kind comments.

Susan, tears of joy have appeared. I treasure your words.

B, thank you so much for the comment. I think I am some better tonight. Medicines are being revamped and I hope I will be sent home tomorrow.

Thank you all... my friends.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

The very best to you! You are courageous and strong. :0)


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana Author

Thank you for reading my work, Lilly.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

Good writing, is easy to read. :0) Blessings


Pixienot 5 years ago

Thank you very much, Lilly.


Honorablewoman profile image

Honorablewoman 5 years ago from Georgia

Pixienot, You know what I love most about hub pages, you find others and others find you with "Like Souls" reading this hub from you was like reading something I would write from my own heart. Thank You for sharing and may God continue to keep you and bless your beautiful SOUL. Daphne Marie McDonald


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Beautiful poem Pixienot. I hope that you are feeling better and have returned home. Take care!


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana Author

Dear Honorable woman and Susan,

I am home from the hospital and feeling somewhat better. I thank you both for the comments expressed.

When I write it is indeed from the heart. I sit down to write and my fingers take over. I never know what I am going to write until I do.

I am so glad to have made so many friends here on hub pages.

I am glad to realize I will soon be back writing much more often. I've not written a hub in days now.

Miles of smiles to y'all! (That's my Kentucky accent!)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Pixienot So glad to hear that you are home. I look forward to reading your new hubs! I wish you a speedy recovery.


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 5 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

Yeah! Congratulations on coming home. Write on, Write on!


Ms Dee profile image

Ms Dee 5 years ago from Texas, USA

Dear Pixienot, I've looked at your hubs, particularly the ones on Fibromyalgia. I have it too. I wanted to let you know that I have it a lot less than I used to and have a hub on it explaining why; "My Fibromyalgia Pain is Gone: Treated as Degenerative Disc Disease". Sounds like you've not heard of supernutrient.com that I explain there. I hope you check it out and consider trying what it says and find much relief. Would be interested to hear how it goes, because you're right, we "fibromites need to stick together" :) Blessings!


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana Author

Dear Susan and Lilly, thank you so much for cheering me on! I truly appreciate it.

Ms Dee, I did read your hub and considered what you wrote. For me it is not the answer. I have other health considerations that prevent me from using the entire program you suggest. However, I do agree with you on a lot you say.

Thanks so much for stopping by. And yes, we will stick together. The two most important things to remember is that 1) it won't kill us, ever and 2) we are all different. That's why the disease is so very frustrating.

Good wishes and miles of smiles coming your way.


Ms Dee profile image

Ms Dee 5 years ago from Texas, USA

Oh, good to know that you considered it. So sorry it is not the answer for you. Yes, we are all different and it isn't a death sentence :).


2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

I send you prayers of comfort and healing and most of all compassion and understanding. When you get out of the hospital look up free Kangen water in the city you live in. It is a wonderful water that bring healing and relief to many. There should be someone there who will give you the water for a one month trial. Pam


andycool profile image

andycool 5 years ago from the U.S.

Just extraordinary! Your feelings are so soft yet give a strong message to the rude world. Lovely poem... I liked it!

Love & Peace - Andy :)


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana Author

Ms. Dee, thank you so much for your kind comment.

2Besure, I certainly will look up the Kangen water and see what shakes out! :) Thank you for the advice.

Andy, wow, what a compliment. I'm glad my work says something. It is from the heart.

Miles and miles of smiles and good wishes coming your way!

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