A Story for Dad
I wrote this poem a few weeks ago when I was first thinking about Father's Day. Father's Day has always been a little rough for me. I don't really know how to celebrate it or how to approach the holiday because my dad was never around. I have been told that the last time I saw my dad I was 2 years old. I have never called this man dad - I always called him by his first name. I thought it was abnormal to call this man dad or daddy. I still do!
In this poem I am sitting with my dad for the first time since he left. He and I are looking through one of my scrapbooks so I can catch him up on the last 30 + years of my life. Everything starts out happy and positive and then I let my emotions get the best of me towards the end. I wrote this way because I am mostly over the hurt of being abandoned all those years ago but in the end I still have a lot of questions I'd like to ask. I'm not bitter about the whole "not having a dad thing" because I did end up with a wonderful father figure in my life. He raised me just like one of his own kids - he took care of me, he scolded me, he lectured me, he made sure I was happy and healthy and safe.
Hi Dad, it's great to see you - come in and sit for a spell
These pictures I have in my scrapbook have a story to tell
Look here dad, do you remember this time?
No of course you don’t, so let me remind.
This picture right here is one I used to hold close
This was one of the photos I cherished the most.
We were swimming - I see I was only 'bout two
And in the background, look – right there is you.
I only know it is you because mom told me so
See, other than her I’d have no way to know.
Here’s another picture, one I know you’ve not seen
Did you notice my eyes changed from blue to green?
And this one right here is my fourth grade strings concert
Did you know I used to play my violin 'til my fingers hurt?
Here’s the purple silk dress that in 1997 I wore to prom
It shimmered with sequins - I think I looked just like mom.
In this picture I had just gotten married outside under the trees
I don't know Dad, since my divorce its sorta hard to look at these.
Ah! But look here - a year later this angel came and made us three
Too bad we couldn't stay together, her dad and I, as a family.
Yes I later got remarried, that is my husband on that page
The little two children and my first get treated just the same.
He is a wonderful stepdad you don't even notice a difference
Heck, look there! My oldest daughter even looks like she could be his.
Cliffnote memories, that's right - we will look at just the best few
I wish this wasn't the only time I got to share my life with you.
Lets see what else we can find in my photo book
Let's look at the other memory snapshots I took
The dog and the cat and a fish in there for show
Some family vacations you never got to know
Pictures in my scrapbook of family holidays and parties
It was really your loss that you had to miss out on these
The events that shaped who I am today and will be tomorrow
Are filled with happiness and that's not a memory you can borrow
You had a chance to be a part of these days and memories - no, I am not mad
The time has passed when you could have come - that decision not to be had
So I thank you for coming to look through my photobook of memories
I wish we had more time because you missed hundreds more just like these.
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