A Stream of Me

Thank you alicepopkorn, I adore your work. http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/
Thank you alicepopkorn, I adore your work. http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/


Why won’t anyone step up to distract me. I don’t want to be left alone with my thoughts. Oh the chime of new mail.... yeah that distracted me for a total of 96 seconds. Now what? Maybe I could try your thoughts on instead? What do you say, Ya wanta let me roam around in that sizzling gray mass of yours for the evening? Another’s reality for a time, the fun I could have in there. I could take your desires out for a test drive. Try on your fetishes like a child trying on mommy’s pumps. And sit in the seat of your fears, see how they measure up to mine. What makes you sick inside, what makes the clown-paint smile come out and take its place, stretched upon your face? What fears haunt your dreams and dance at the corners of your eye’s? Would you like to trade? Just for the night mind you.


I realize your reality could be worse than mine. Unless your dealing with old ghosts. I don’t give a cotton for old ghosts. They are like old luggage. Some people drag that stuff around, move to move, decade to decade. I guess they figure they’ve invested so much into it, they are not about to let it go. Not me though. I say fill that puppy up with every crap brick and blood stained mortar chunk you can find and throw it’s ass over the side of a ravine. One of those old dump sites where no one would know or care that your abuses, indiscretions and youthful fears lay screaming in Samsonite between an old stained mattress and a perfectly good white wall tire. I say you must leave the past in the... helloooo, past. If not, you are wasting all your energy of today dragging that shit around. So I gotta tell you, if I get your mind for a day, that shits going over board! And in return for me purging your baggage, you can just deal with my reality.


Live in my moment. Take up my cross. Be the ever positive daughter who in the face of mathematical truth, says bullshit! My moment that says choose yourself over your offspring even though it rips against you like the thorns of a blackberry. The offspring who in the same breath says, you are the best mom in the whole wide world and you are ruining my life. Live my moment when the old holds out hope as does the new, but only one can win...me. And not all can be happy, no matter how god damn hard you try or how f***ing big you smile. My moment when prosperity and poverty switch places like the sun and the moon. My moment when the generations of pride you’ve been raised with ends when you step in line take a form and take a number. My moment in time when anything good has the sound of the sweet music you hear in a thriller, right before the knife comes out.


Yours, mine, I’m sure its all bad in different ways. I’d really rather not think at all. What do you say, ya want to just chat for a while?


Comments 27 comments

Enigmatic Me profile image

Enigmatic Me 6 years ago from East Coast Canada

The depth of it all

I'd take you up on your quest

Rest your head on my chest

Let your thoughts and memories be mine

while you look through my mind in rewind

I'd gladly take that tour, to see what you think those thoughts for

I'm even up for switching ideas and philosophies

Hell, you're mind in my hands might end up with glossy trophies

But don't you forget, not for a minute

My thoughts, and messiness are all a part of the craziness

All apart of the grand grey abyss, and bliss

So, if you can deal in the crevices of my mind

I'll gladly take that tour


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Bullshit! Well- you said, "in the face of mathematical truth!" Just pulling your leg Randy! Let you mind lead and your body will follow! Great thoughts Randy!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Poetry fro me? That's lovely EM, truly! But I suppose in the end we will share one great consciousness. Then all will know the triteness of my trials and the beauty in my imaginings, and I will know yours. Looking forward to it.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Morning Micky. So you think it impossible eh? Its probably a good thing; it gets kind of dark and depraved in here sometimes.


Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

Nice to visit, and to visit again, too.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Indeed.


Enigmatic Me profile image

Enigmatic Me 6 years ago from East Coast Canada

Wouldn't it be amazing if Everyone was aware of the same thing. I mean I learn something new every day, but if that learning could be transferable so that everyone does not have to learn it for themselves, but to innately become aware of it and move through life gaining one new perspective ata time... imagine the collective conscience and understanding the world could have. Sometimes I wish we were all Crows... who innately know their history... it would be grand.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Crows do? Really? That's kind of like the Clan people of Clan of the Cavebear. They only had to be reminded to jog the ancient memories. That would be faster.


Seldon55 profile image

Seldon55 6 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

Nice to run around in your psyche for a bit and enigmatic me had a wonderful reply. I was just listening to Leonard Cohen while trying hard not to finish a writing assignment for college. They say that if we all threw our troubles on the table and looked around, we'd all take our own back. Sounds like you just might hijack someone else's to take for a test drive.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Seldon. In reality I'd probably prefer the pain I know. But it'd be fun walking around someone else's thoughts don't you think? Wait don't answer that you are supposed to be studying.


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

Oh to find the bliss of nothingness, a coma like state of mind where all of the pain and burdens of life become nothing more than a fuzzy cloud. To be able to shut off the electrical synapases to one's brain simply by wishing it so, for a perscribed time in a safe place where one can simply exist without any concept of actually existing. Or even better to live a day as someone else in the cathedral of anothers cranium, making one's own life more desirable by the very act of taking on the baggage of another. A mind porter for just a while, to actually know what it is like to be a woman rather than a man or a man rather then a woman, what great understanding we might find concerning the other sex, what wonderful explorations both erotic and intellectual could be uncovered for that brief sojourn into another's psyche. Great hub here, I would so enjoy one day of basking in the randy behavior your mind holds as you wallowed in the stirrings of my own conciousness.

~~~~MFB III


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Morning MFB - A 14-year-old told me, they learned in school that men's and women's brains are different. Women's brains are a network where every thought leads to another. Mens brains are a series of boxes where they store information. It seems a man to effectively meditate need only find an empty box and sit there for a while. Would a man be overwhelmed to all of a sudden be in the business of a woman's brain? Jumping from thought to thought, like a child jumping from stone to stone in a river, trying not to be swept away? And would a woman feel isolated finding her self in a single box of thought cut off from the current?


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

Hey, it might make for a wonderful change of pace, and oh what we would bring back to our own minds with practiced thought when we retrun to our own senses. maybe someday mind melds will be reality, obviously you and I are on the same brainwaves....me in my box marked randy behavior and you in your network going off in all directions...lol...MDB III


Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago

Hey Randy,

Think you could handle straddling the bucking grey bull of my brain? Play Europa and give it a shot. There's very little bad, but it's no convenient series of boxes; the man's mind is a sacred mandala, full of concentricity.

Anyway, that was an interesting read and so were all the comments it occasioned. As good as Enigmatic Me's intentions were, I think I'll give a big 'No thanks!' on the hive-mind suggestion. I enjoy spaces of ignorance, asking people questions, learning the hard way through chit-chat and snooping their medicine cabinet. In fact, one of the things I dislike about google and wikipedia is so few folks ask one another about anything any longer, trying instead to be self-reliant netmonkeys.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

I supposed if we shared one consciousness Arthur, that would definitely cut down on interpersonal communication. That would be tragic. I do so love interpersonal communication...


DoorMattnomore 6 years ago

Reading one's words is as close to living thier pains as you can get, I guess. This is most interesting hub and comments!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

If their writing is honest, I agree. Nice to meet you DoorMattnomore!!


DoorMattnomore 6 years ago

oh, I feel silly. I forget some may not be honest, I trust you are. Ihope you wont think Im to wierd, but I have been thinking about this all day.

"I say fill that puppy up with every crap brick and blood stained mortar chunk you can find and throw it’s ass over the side of a ravine. One of those old dump sites where no one would know or care that your abuses, indiscretions and youthful fears lay screaming in Samsonite between an old stained mattress and a perfectly good white wall tire."

I am guilty of dragging the past for far too long. Its not that I haven't tried to dump it, but like those creepy china dolls that come back years after you thought it might be trying to kill you so you smashed it to bits and threw it out, the past seems to grab at me in the middle of the night. I sure wish I had your ability to leave it for good.

And we've met, I had to dissapear for a bit, and come back as newer version of the same me. I am glad your still here. :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

When MFB interviewed me he commented on my honesty. At the time I was surprised, but realized that not everyone approaches writing that way. Oh, hello old friend, then.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you...

Great thoughts. I missed reading RB :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Nice to see you Blaise25! Thanks for popping in.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Symbiosis is really the recommended way of "shit digging",for one to singularly try to evolve is kinda like conversing with a wall.;)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

So you think heading out into the dessert for a couple decades is overrated then Mentalist?


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Reflection is a matter of eliminating disease,but leaves little build upon without interpretation of your relationship with the source of trama or source of illumination,what is concieved within is hard to do without any input.;)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Good cause I'm more of a water girl than a dessert wanderer.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

This is quite a trip into your thoughts. Its great. somewhat funny at times, the way you word things. This is a beautiful flow of un-tampered-with thoughts that not that many people can create so well.

Loved it. Truly


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Ben, but I found your stream: http://hubpages.com/hub/Daedalus-Icarus-Thrice, and you are just as good at it. :)

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