A Day I Will Remember

I Hold My Porcelain Trophy Close

Where did all my competition go ?

I finished ahead of  all of them

I had some tough challangers but I always won

Night after night I would become victorous

There is no one that can beat me

I can say that with great pride

Other friends heard me boast

Some even say I talked rag time

Each time I accepted the challange

One by one they fell just like pins in bowling

I saw them fall sometimes right away

Other times hours later

I feel the sensation

The rush I get goes through my whole body

How can it be anything but good?

Maybe I feel a  little light headed  at times

But that is normal right ?

But nothing I can't handle

I have been playing this game since I was ten

No one but no one is going to mess with me ever again

People first looked at me with excitement

They were my peers who I quickly out shined

No matter how hard they tried they couldn't keep up

I began to practice every chance I got

I would wake up early

I would go to bed real late

I sometimes never slept

The t.v I left on for days

No sense and shutting it off when I just have to turn it on again

I am smarter than the average bear like Yogi bear would say.

But each time I knew my outcome

To be the biggest badass who anyone could ever meet

I felt the sense of accomplishment

That only a certain few knew

Colleges across the country practice diligently to be me

I let them try but I know who I am

What I am capable of

This once a leisure sport

Became such an obsession

That there was not a day that went by

I would not try

I couldn't seem to get it out of my mind

I watched as other people struggled in life with their problems

Not me my problems seemed to diminish each time I raised the bar

My chosen profession was dropped

Since I didn't need it any more

What get up way too early and leave later and later from a job

In hopes to make it big someday

Working hard and always burning the midnight oil

Can't you see ?

I am practicing to become a legend

Everyone will know my name

As I look up and wonder

How long have I been playing this game

Now I once could quickly give you the answer

But the answer alludes me now

For what reason I am not sure

But I now I know I am in no posittition to take a bow

I hold down my head and watch the room spin in circles

That brings back memories

Of forty years ago

When I first started

I was only a young lad who didn't know much

I was  a follower but was determined to become a great leader someday

I knew I could do it

Then others would eat my dust

Each week I would buy my supplies

At first I couldn't buy it and I paid someone else well

To bring me a little something

Hidden in a small paper bag

That could only lead to one thing

I was stubburn then and I am more stubburn now than ever

I have all the answers

You can't talk to me because I won't listen

I hold my trophy against my face

A cool feeling to give me the slightest relief

I feel like I have been here for hours

I don't feel any better

I keep telling myself this will pass

Everyone has to get on with their day

Its Monday and most people work

I partied so much over the weekend I can not even move

My eyes are tired but I can not sleep

My nose starts to bleed and I am not sure why ?

Once again I should call for help

But I don't even have the energy to try

I can't tell you what day it is

My memory gets all jumbled and words aren't clear and I don't know what I say

I don't know what time it is either ?

I sometimes forget what I did yesterday or even a few hours ago

Blackouts they call them

I use to think they were funny

Not remembering anything at any moment

I felt as if I had entered into a different world

One that is new to me

Sounds that sounded so familiar

Now became distant and soft

I hear a humming noise

Could it be one of those darned bees that use to aggrivate me in the middle of the summer

When I would pass out on the front lawn

They thought I was their friend

I never knew why they would sting me over and over again

I later knew why

They tried to knock some sense into me

It didn't work

I never did quite understand it

It was like one of lifes mysteries you never do solve

U. F. O.s, Easter Islands or the big green monster

I mean the Loche Ness

Like those puzzles that give you a headache like I have now

I am thirsty but I remember drinking just hours ago

I feel weak

I really do wish I had something to eat

I don't have any friends left

Since they were all sore loosers and quit playing with me

That is just fine with me who needs them anyway

I will be fine without them

I have done it for years now that I suddenly remember

I reach forward to pull myself up

I have no strength

I am like a famous triathalon runner

Now totally exhausted and out of breath

I am having trouble swollowing

i have been coughing and choking unexpectedly

I was gagging but things are better now

I feel a little cold and wish I had my favorite blanket with me

This smelly hooded jacket will have to do

I took it off days ago and must of left it curled in a ball here

How lucky was I to find it

I am getting even to tired to talk

I want to go to sleep now and put the past behind me

The future I do not see

I don't think there is one

The biggest hoax that had everyone buffaloed since the begining of time

I was to smart for that

Where God would come to those in times of great need

As the story goes like an old wives tale

They see bright white lights and walk through a tunnel to heaven

Yes those pearly gates that open

Unless you have been bad and then the Devil will get you

In his firey grasp

I don't know how people could be so gullable to believe that crap

Like cigarettes are good for you

Those cancer sticks everyone smokes

I feel my butt is burning and I don't know why

I first thought it was just pins and needles

That my legs get from time to time

Then I thought it was those damn cold sweats again

That give me the chills then I burn up like I have a fever

Enough about me

What do you believe ?

I am almost too tired to talk

My pains in my body don't bother me    a n y m o r e !

I still wish I could have something cold to drink

Yes a Pepsi or Coke would be nice

Those were the days when I could sneak a little something in it

Nobody ever knew

I felt kind of silly but later it gave me great confidence

I had everyone tricked like the great Houdini

Yes he also was tricked and died a sudden unexpected fate

Life is something

To contemplate and try to figure out

Now that's a big 25 cent word

Now I don't talk to much because people say I sllurr to much

They often say I don't make sense

I will have them know when I was younger I use to write

Pretty darn good stories and everyone I knew even strangers all seemed to agree

If I keep writing I can write my own ticket to life

I use to think what it would be like to have all that money and I could buy anything I ever wanted

Then I would laugh when I got kicked out of college and had the shakes just holding a pen

When the littlest things seemed impossible

I gave up on my dream

I had pages and pages of writtings I use to save

I remember once I threw up on them

What an awful mess I think when I moved they got lost

Was I  kicked out oh well it doesn't really matter

They were some of my best works

A publisher said bring them to me

I just forgot where to go and who was she?

Now I am going to take a nap finally

That was my life in a nutshell

I don't know if I going to Heaven or Hell

But one thing is for certain

I am done with drinking

So if I could write you a message

I would leave it in one of my empty bottles for you to find

No one can live your life but you

You make choices every day so what does this decison matter with so many others you have to make

It is too too LATE !

When you loose your wife and kids and everything else you have including your life

That is why I am here talking to you

 

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Comments 10 comments

kirutaye profile image

kirutaye 6 years ago from London, UK

Wow. I had shivers down my back reading this. So compelling, it delivers the message loud and clear. Addictions are destructive.

Well written. :o))


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago Author

Kirutaye I often wonder how we can all help each other.Maybe just saying kind thoughts and nice things to each other and remember what we love about them.What makes them so special.Let them decide what choice is good for them.Support and love is good as it gets.I appreciate your support and love on such a private and personal struggle for so many people in the world today.There is always a better way.Just I am not sure if we are going to find it today.Thanks.


Darlene Sabella profile image

Darlene Sabella 6 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

Oh my darling friend, we have all be this thing called life, this is a classroom and sometimes I think I am still in first grade. I cannot believe some of the experiences that have crossed my path, and many of the wrong choices I made in my life. However, with a great friend like you, how can life be wrong when we are a strong group of friends. Fabulous hub rate up peace and love darski


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago Author

Darlene Sabella To live is to experience the good and the bad.In the end we can only hope we make better choices that keep us from making the same mistakes over and over again.Thanks and have a wonderful day.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Such a great hub and delivered a strong message. So many of us are known to make the same mistake over and over. I think the best avise I can give is to stay in the same place for a little while but never go backwards.

thank you so much for sharing this. Take care.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago Author

Eiddwen They say you never really know anyone until you walk in their shoes.Since that is impossible we can only talk about the life that we see and how it affects everyone else in the end.We all have struggles in life.I guess we pick the battles we choose to fight.Life goes on with or without us.So while where here make it the best with sincerity and prosperity and all the love that one can bear.Thank you so much.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Very graphic and visceral, DO. I'm glad to read in your comments that you are not giving in to the negativity. You have a crowd of loving friends here. We may try to offer advise or consolation, but the best we can really offer which can really be received without hesitation is love for you and anything you must face. Be of good cheer. As I mentioned an hour ago to someone here, it's healing, is good cheer. It charges the very air with power and healing.

Hugs.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago Author

Nellieanna I think It is a great day when we can be healed by someone elses words and guidance.Thank you so much.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

The healing is within but at times we need reminded we can.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 6 years ago Author

Nellieanna Sometimes we just have to let time pass and age catches us in its clutch.Then maybe we don't have the energy to do so much.But the years that pass do irreversable damage that can not be fixed.A little too late and a little too sad.Thanks and have a sunny day.

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