A man without religion

I was passing by a man holding out his hand

and he asked if I could spare some change?

I replied,

only if you can spare some advice.

He said that

after trying to find his way in this life,

his only advice was to never make the same mistake twice.

I stood speechless while he continued

asking me questions like

if I had kids, a wife

and if I believed in Christ?

I gave no response and as I started to walk away

he grabbed my arm and said

religion is having vision without sight.

He was a tall man, black as night

that spoke with an overbite.

He removed the dark shades that covered his face

and he started reciting scripture,

telling me to listen and pay attention

but only then I noticed

that both of his eyes were missing.





Copyright © 2011 Daunt'e Loper


Comments 17 comments

LSKing profile image

LSKing 5 years ago from East Coast United States

Wow! That was awesome! I voted this up.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 5 years ago from Austin, Texas

Whew... that's some stuff right there... good job with this...

Rhyming "advice" with "twice" is an example of rhyme that enhances the message; it's not forced...


stclairjack profile image

stclairjack 5 years ago from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks

well done.


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

Thank you all, I really appreciate the feedback.


runrchic1 profile image

runrchic1 5 years ago from Upstate New York

Really great hub! Thanks for sharing.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Great Ending!!


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

Thanks runrchic and Fossillady, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Very nice!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Gripping from start to finish!


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

Thanks Susan and Nellieanna


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 5 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Pretty intense. Can't figure out if its pro or con religion. (:v


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

Its nither


Midianite profile image

Midianite 5 years ago from Australia

Wow dude, crazy! I was totally not expecting that ending. I really like your writing, more so than I do with most poets.

- You now have a new follower.


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

Thanks Midianite


Norma Budden profile image

Norma Budden 5 years ago from Nunavut, Canada

I don't think of it as being a pro or con of religion. I think the focal point is more along the lines of focusing on Christ and the Bible, as opposed to merely following an ordained religion with all of its rules and regulations.


Daunte Loper profile image

Daunte Loper 5 years ago from Detroit Michigan Author

I honestly don't know what my aim was in this piece Norma, but I was compelled to write it.


Norma Budden profile image

Norma Budden 5 years ago from Nunavut, Canada

I know that feeling all too well, Daunte, and I look forward to reading much more of your writing.

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