A series of embarrassing incidents

A series of embarrasssing incidents

I've been feeling really glum and sorry for myself the last month or so. In a desperate bid to restore my smile and naughty twinkle, I've decided to share a few embarrassing anecdotes from my youth. I have several of these and gauging from your response, may write a series. Times were so much lighter and innocent then. I've been without laughter for too long. Who knows, it could make you chuckle too! Please let me know if you enjoyed reading about my excrutiating experience and would like to read more!

A series of embarrassing incidents...

The first cringe worthy event occurred in secondary school. I was in the first year feeling awkward, nervy, paranoid and tiny! What a sight I must have been in my stiff, brand spanking new uniform. My hair was in little skinny plaits (my mother will never be forgiven ever!) I had a brace (which I used to try to unsuccessfully lose behind the sofa!) I had hideous clumpy Clark's lace up shoes with a naff block heel. (I know Clark's is cool now, it wasn't in those days, trust me!) I was in a science lesson and was sent on an errand to the PE Department. Off I went delighted to escape a boring science lesson, blissfully unaware of the the mortifying shame that lay ahead...

As I trotted along, I felt the eerie sensation of being watched. I turned around and saw to my excitement three tall, arrogant and impossibly cool fifth year boys walking behind me. One of whom was 'Anthony', a walking love god who made my heart quiver and stomach do flips! His hair was jet black and long, a silver crucifix dangled from his ear and he had a dangerous glint in his eye. I was besotted!

The thing was though, I was conscious of his presence behind me, I could feel his eyes burning into my nerdy little first year back. The swagger that boys in their final year of school have. The exaggeratedly loud voices, the inane laughter, the desperate attempt to give off vibes that 'they don't give a toss about anything.' They were the matches lighting my flame.

I self consciously hobbled towards the winking glass doors of the PE department. It felt like the clearness of the glass was about to reflect my humiliation and looming disbelief. After walking gingerly for what felt like a lifetime I was aware of an odd not altogether unpleasant loosening sensation around my waist. I think my mouth may have fallen open in an incredulous 'O' at this point and I really don't want to dwell on what I must have looked like!

The weird widening sensation continued for what seemed like an age. Things though were about to get far far worse... I heard the staccato sound of elastic snapping. The next part felt like it was in slow motion, a nightmare I was unable to wake up from.

My knicker elastic had ceased to exist and my knickers were rolling dangerously down my bottom! My short, grey school skirt only had a matter of seconds before my misfortune was revealed to all!

I clearly remember thinking 'there are three of the coolest fifth years behind me witnessing my downfall (well, my knickers at any rate!) If they realize that i am about to lose my pants then I will die of shame! 'Whip them off, whip them off quick! They might not notice'! I thought to myself. (I know, as if! I was only 11 though and losing the will to live!)

Quick as a flash, I yanked at my knickers which accommodatingly lowered on one side. Eventually and excruciatingly the other side came down too. With an almighty tug my deflated pants plummeted down my legs. I desperately pulled at them, willing them to detach themselves in one quick swoop! Fate it seems had other plans for me...

My knickers decided to get caught round the heel of my shoe (Damn Clarks)! I am unable or rather unwilling to imagine the sight to behold for Anthony and the two 5thYears. Me wiggling about with my bottom in the air desperately untangling my unrecognizable knickers from my shoe.

Finally, in tears, I gave up and hopped to the PE department. I locked myself in the Girls changing rooms and cried my eyes out. I spent the remainder of that fateful day in utter misery and gym knickers!

Tara Carbery © 2011


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Comments 38 comments

kootheancheah profile image

kootheancheah 5 years ago from Penang, Malaysia


Haha! That was really funny. Let's hear more of it. ;-)

Thanks for sharing.

Koot H.Cheah

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Thanks Kootheancheah. I'm glad you found it entertaining. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, Oh my goodness! ha ha I would have died! or at least stayed in the locker room for the whole week! thanks for sharing, cheers nell

leni sands profile image

leni sands 5 years ago from UK

Oh Tara, we should really swop notes on embarrassing incidents but we'd die laughing. I'm not sure I am as brave as you are in sharing them to the worldwide public - I mean millions of people (lol) don't want to put you off or anything:)...seriously - I thoroughly enjoyed reading this - it is sooo funny and soooo visual I can just see the picture now (ha)...more please...

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Glad you enjoyed it Nell and Leni. I have so many of these mortifying tales! I seem to be a walking disaster most of the time!

epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...yes but you still have that lovely red beret and you are a sincere and sensitive writer with a good heart and an excellent grasp of how to communicate to your readers - I'd eat your peanuts anytime - lol - and more importantly will always endeavor to read what you have to say - because you have something very unique in your writing kit - and it's you!!!!!!

lake erie time ontario canada 12:49am

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Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Epi, thank you for your lovely and impish words. I've got lovely peanuts even if I do say so myself!

Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Hilarious! even though it was also utterly embarrasing!

Oh, it sure sounds like something that could have happened to me!

suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

What a great storyteller you are! This is a fine piece of writing and the incident is hilarious to read about now, but at the time I'm sure it was excrutiatingly embarrassing. The things that happen when the most gorgeous guy is around!

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Denise and Suzette, Cheers! I used to do a autobiographical unit with my year 7's (11 year old's). In order to gain their courage i'd ask them to imagine their most embarrassing story. They'd all be too shy to talk about it in front of the class but after I started with one of mine to warm them up they were all shouting out to go next! Some of my happiest teaching moments with genuine laughter and enjoyment!

Sam Elutilo profile image

Sam Elutilo 4 years ago from Wallington, United Kingdom

It's one of those 'I shouldn't laugh but can't help myself' tales. I can relate to something similar happening to me whilst I was at secondary school. My skirt fell down in front of my 'cool' peers. As I hobbled away in shame to the loo I'm sure I was branded a weirdo lol. Great story. Voted up.

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Bless your heart! You told your story very well. I am sure you never imagined you would be writing about this later in life. Great job!

YogaKat profile image

YogaKat 4 years ago from Oahu Hawaii

Great writing . . . and yes I want to hear more.

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Thanks for reading Sam, Tammy and YogaKat. I had no idea that my humiliation would be a source for my writing years on! The thing is, life is full of these excrutiating events that we can all relate to. If my disasters give people a good laugh then that's a result in my book. Thanks again.

daisynicolas profile image

daisynicolas 4 years ago from Alaska

Your story made me flashback to those days of yore where I, too, have several moments of "would you believe this," anecdotes"! Of course, now, I find these as topics to enliven my converations.

teachertalking1 profile image

teachertalking1 4 years ago

Wow! Glad to hear that you survived this horrifying experience! At such a vulnerable age, those moments are often magnified 100x in our eyes! Would love to hear more - thanks for sharing!

soumyasrajan 4 years ago from Mumbai India and often in USA

Hi! Peanutritious

Nice article. You must be a nice and very understanding person that helps you to publish such simple incidents and get strength from such incidents.

We all pass through some times some such moments. But any weakness once one accepts it "ok! I am like this and I will be careful about it and enjoy my weakness" it becomes strength to be enjoyed.

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Oh my, the pain and sorrow and hilarity of elementary school. Some day we will sit down over a Diet Coke and compare notes on embarrassing moments. Thank you for sharing and giving me a good laugh.

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

daisynicolas, It's great for throwing in little witty stories to make people laugh!

teachertalking, you're right! I could never describe the intense feeling of utter horror I felt when I knew I was losing my pants!

Soumyasrajan, I think i'm nice and understanding! I was very careful following this incident to only purchase the highest quality underwear!!!

billybuc, I would love to sit down over a diet coke one day and have a good laugh. I wish hubpages could magically be turned into a huge room where we could mingle or have a good rant about the state of the world!

smcopywrite profile image

smcopywrite 4 years ago from all over the web

i always enjoy a great storyteller. thanks for sharing. voted up and funny

Dr Funom Makama profile image

Dr Funom Makama 4 years ago from Europe

entertaining, interesting and very funny.. I love it

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Thanks so much smcopywrite and Dr Funom Makamagla. Glad it made you laugh. It makes me laugh now but made me cringe for years afterwards!

wrenfrost56 profile image

wrenfrost56 4 years ago from U.K.

Oh goodness poor you, there is nothing worse then unreliable knicker elastic! If it makes you feel any better I had loads of embarressing moments at school and I had to wear DR Martins shoes, when they were seriously uncool, so I feel your pain on the whole clarks shoes thing. Thanks for sharing :)

ChristyWrites profile image

ChristyWrites 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Oh nooo! I would have locked myself in the bathroom too! We all have those humiliating moments.. nice of you to share to remind us we're not alone!

whowas 4 years ago

Oh dear! What an excruciating experience. I can hardly bring myself to laugh as I can recall so many embarrassments of youth and they are really sore moments at the time. Still, you make a funny tale of it!

I remember once, in my later teens, there was a girl I absolutely adored and we were pretty good friends, always hanging out together. Eventually it became clear that the feelings I was entertaining in her regard were probably reciprocated and we began to be much more playful around one another - mainly as a way of engaging in 'accidental' physical contact with one another (such innocent times!)

On one occasion I was in the local coffee shop, standing at the bar with my back to the room. We'd arranged to meet and I was going to confess my affections openly. I had it all perfectly planned...

She came into the shop without my seeing her and approached me quietly from behind. She'd decided to surprise me. She suddenly, with no warning, put out her hands and tickled either side of my waist. My muscles contracted in shock and...

... a noxious and audible fart instantaneously exploded from my rear end!

I died that day. Over and over again at each painful recollection.

But hey, you gotta laugh! :)

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

OH MY GOD! Whowas you just made me roar with that one! I'm working on another embarrassing incident next. It truly is another mortifying one too! I take it things didn't work out with this woman then?!

whowas 4 years ago

Alas, no. At that age, when ego was still so strong, it was impossible to overcome such a gaseous barrier to love.

I look forward ghoulishly to your next instalment!

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

That is weird! I've literally just been commenting on your work! Spooky stuff!

I suppose a machine gun fart would have been rather a passion killer!

tigresosal 4 years ago

Your story resemble so much with some of my experiences too. Wonderful read. Sometimes remembering those embarrassing days of the past make you lighter.

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

tigresosal, what a lovely way to look at it. I suppose it does make you lighter. I get so bogged down with the state of the world and so called humanity that I forget that the daft, simple things are really funny! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...still one of my most favorite 'embarrassing' hub stories of all time although I was sincerely sorry for you my friend .....now onto part 2 of your embarrassing stories segment ......lake erie time 11:05am lake erie time ontario canada

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Thanks for re-visiting Epi. I hope life is good in Canada.

epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....we are being invaded by the Martians here so I hope to immigrate (or flea) to England soon ......

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Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Englad is full of martians. I would seriously consider a different country for your own sanity!

Carl Wainwright 4 years ago

Incredible story.

The build up was fantastic and the detail made it so easy to imagine and relate to the sights,thoughts, and feelings experienced at school. The pace made me desperate to read on and find out what unfortunate incident was going to suddenly drop onto the page. I found it easy to feel the assembly of emotions released paragraph by paragraph.

You are so talented and you have left me with a serious craving for more.

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Thank you Carl, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. I'm flattered by your comments.

DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

If you are like me the embarrassing moments have played over and over in my head a million times.Your smart to post them and make money and maybe they will get a million views.Wonderful writing seeing us in our worst possible moment.Keep your chin up when everything else falls to the ground.(lol)

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 3 years ago from Cheshire, UK Author

Hi Dream, I have so many embarrassing moments, you have to laugh or you'd cry!

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