Afraid to Love

I remember that fateful day

I had to say my last goodbye

How I questioned the reasons why

You had to go so far away

Oh, what you put me through

When you took a part of me with you


And I'm afraid to love again

I've locked the doors to my heart

So I remain so far apart

Because I'm afraid to be drawn in

The result can only be more pain

Another loss there yet to gain


I thought my life was so complete

And, yet, somehow I know

That I've got to let the past go

Or else I submit to defeat

It's time to give away the key

Time to let someone be near me


But I'm afraid to love again

I've locked the doors to my heart

So I remain so far apart

Because I don't want to be drawn in

The result can only be more pain

Another loss there yet to gain


April 1999

© 2013 Shannon

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Comments 41 comments

writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Aww...this was sad and beautiful at the same time, Shan. Nice work and voted it up!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Don't give up, the second time around can be quite nice...Loved your rhyme.....


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, writinglover. :) I appreciate that.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Ruby. Glad you enjoyed the rhyme. I didn't give up. These are merely words penned long ago for no real "rhyme" or reason.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Very beautiful straight from your heart. Just remember what He tells us in His word about fear, sweetie. It is scary, but to live this life not ever loving, is that really and truly living this life? It is very hard to trust again . . that is the really hard part. You deserve the best this life has to offer in love and otherwise, as long as you know in your heart how worthy of love you are, then you will be able to love again and be loved.

Hugs and love to you, Faith Reaper


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Faith Reaper, you could make me cry with those sincere words offered with such love! But, rest assured, if you look at the date this particular poem was written, it was just a poem. Besides, I was only 16 at the time, and if you believe it, I'd never even dated anyone yet!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Shan,

You're just pounding them out aren't you? :D ... When I saw the title of this one I was almost afraid to open it; I'm in one of those 'could lose it easily' kind of moods. I love it, of course... and even if it was fictional, it speaks in truth!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Aw, don't lose it, girl. It's always okay. Remember our talk on faith? Love ya!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

I don't forget anything :D .... just one of those sentimental nights I guess. It's okay, at least I know the old ticker's still working... lol


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I remember quite a bit, too, especially when it comes to conversations. Sometimes the most random of things. . . But, anyway. . .alright then. Sentimental is not a bad thing.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

At 16 one's heart is something to behold. It's a lovely poem. Years following bring reality into it. Then, as Ruby mentions - the second time around is better. One's heart is intact, having survived some storms, and one's head is 'on straight' too!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

You know I like this. So well crafted. Congratulations and thank you


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Wow, Shan, that is amazing and thank you for sharing that here!

Hugs, Faith Reaper


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Well, Nellieanna, if twice was all it took- lucky ducks! Not so sure my head is on all that straight. haha


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you very much, Martin. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

You're welcome, Faith Reaper.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

no, baby - you HAVE to love again, or at least - open yourself to the possibility..

Life is for living, learning, screwing up - and trying again!

You've gotten stronger and better.

Apply accordingly.

Awesomely passionate poem, my friend..

sharing..


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Aw, Leslie, you're a badass with a sweet side. Haha. Thanks for sharing. :)


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

That is so beautiful, and sad. You wrote so well, even when you were not yet an adult! For someone who hadn't even experienced that kind of pain yet, you wrote it exceptionally well.

I hope you are having an enjoyable weekend. Take care!

~ Kathryn


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Gee, thanks Kathryn! I am glad you enjoyed it. Hope you're having a good weekend as well!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

"Second time around" is but a title for the one that works! Nevermind stumbling stops along the way - or, as they say, a few toads to be kissed before one turns out to be the Prince! ;-) Would that it were more direct & less circuitous! Would it would be the first toad we ever kissed! However, it may not always work out that way. We probably needed more courses in it, more than 'Life 101"! We get more education for driving a car or running a computer than for living a life and recognizing the real Prince, - OR for living well either way!! (Sometimes toads get one's head a little dizzy and womperjawed; - but that wears off!)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I know that it is "just a title"! Hahaha Yeah...courses, you say? I think I'm more of a hands on learner (that and thinking it through on my own), so they probably wouldn't do me much good!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Womperjawed! Hahaha...I'd already commented and then saw that.


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 3 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Words that speak such a simple universal truth of the heart don't have to prove themselves to anyone. And I know that no words are written for no reason. Whatever story behind them, one hopes that better things lie ahead. We all dare to hope.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Nice name, whatever your reason for that, Astra Nomik! Thank you for your kind words and visit. :)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and beautiful. Sad and lovely sentiments all the same. Passing this on.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for voting it up and passing it on!


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Great one, so much emotion expressed! I like the structure of the verses too.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Lurana. Why do I get the feeling your read my things with a songwriter's mind? hehehe


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Ha, I refrained from commenting about its lyrical quality since I say it so much already :-).


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Hehe. :)


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Love hurts and sometimes one is not able to go through such pain again, such a beautiful poem


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you so much for your visit and comment, DDE!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Courses provide both starting places, directions and nice definite places from which to disagree and venture off into one's own, 'hands on" process, without being caught completely off on an island of one's own making & choosing without a raft to retrace the steps, which having could be such a help. That situation was often described in the old-fashioned vernacular as finding oneself "up a creek without a paddle." haha ;-) But, at least, it IS one's very own creek! :-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Um, so you're saying I'm up my very own creek without a paddle? LOL That was a kind of random comment, but I love you!

Okay....maybe not so random, but out of place considering the comments in between. hehe


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Sad....and ....beautifully written though .... and just like one of those great 'lost' country 'n western songs.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, Epi. :) No mention of your cats today?


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

I see you have been writing for along time.You just keep surprising me with you'r work.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks, DREAM ON. Actually, yes, I have been writing for awhile, off and on through the years. High school was about the time I first discovered I really enjoy doing it.


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

Beautifully written. Voted Up. I did not realize I was not following, but I am now. Forgive me for taking so long to push all the buttons.

Best Always,

Kim


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

No need for forgiveness, as you have not done anything wrong, Kim! Glad to count you as a follower now, though! :) Thanks for reading this hub and others.

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