All Hat, No Cattle

All Hat, No Cattle
All Hat, No Cattle | Source

Sure, that famous Texas expression of ‘All hat, no cattle’ has been used for centuries to describe any individual — Madoff, W., Munchausen, Ponzi, the pathological liar, your brother-in-law, etc. — that gets by with a lot of bluster, but actually has very little substance to back it up.

Well, meet the guy this expression must have been created for: ‘Rawbone’ Rueben Rose, the original ‘Yellow Rose’ of Texas. Rueben quite literally has no cattle; he likes to ride his ‘pony’ out by the fence on the back forty that abuts the neighboring cattle rancher’s herds, especially for photo ops such as this. (The cattle think Rueben and his horsey are cute.)

And, as you can see, Rueben is nearly all hat. In any case, whatever isn’t stone-ground pre-aged acid-washed antique denim, custom-crafted lizard-skin, pearlescent-beaded linen, hammered silver neckpiece, overgrown side-whiskers, and raspberry-melon chapstick is all hat.

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jimagain profile image

jimagain 5 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

Very good and very well-written. It was short but not short on substance like poor Rueben.

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Thanks, Jim!

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