All Was Still, All Was Silent ( Part 3 )

...



The air in a sleeping city

   Becomes stale with death

As a monster rises far

   To the east and south

       Across the span

  Of time, and sea


Children awake

   To unfamiliar vibrations

           And jump from their beds,

     Running to their windows

To gaze across the water


What do you think they see?


The reflection of

   A distant atrocity

 Glares off the surface

      Of the peaceful water

  Illuminating the night

In flickering light


Elemental surges

    Pulsate rhythmically

In waves expanding

    From the site

Of disturbance

       In all directions


The very movement

      of the beast’s wings

          seemingly tears through

  the fabric of space,

    creating blazing riffs,

and sending fear

   into the hearts

of all who bare witness

    to the rebirth

       of an abomination




The planet cries.

        The planet quivers...



© copyright Ben D.A 2011




Comments 20 comments

BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

thanks again doug, by the way, it's finished


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Don't sell yourself short. You don't write dozens and dozens of poems without being a storyteller. Go with your gut.

But I hear ya, I sometimes write myself dry and have to take a step back. I usually look up poetry in those situations -- get a feel for the style of the old masters (Bukowski and Ginsberg lately. Check out Ginsberg's "America" if you haven't). Peace.


Elizabeth99 profile image

Elizabeth99 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

Rebirth of an abomination is my favorite line. i like this, its gettin' good!!


MOlmstead 5 years ago

Ah, it's about a dragon! Wish i would of read the first three parts before commenting on the conclusion. Good stuff regardless.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

doug - I have never been much for story-telling, so maybe I'm having a bit of trouble with concluding this one, but if the descriptions are good, and people are anticipating the end, I guess that's good.

Not gonna lie...haven't really been inspired for the last part yet, so I might have to wait on it a bit.

I rarely have this problem, but maybe I have been writing a bit too much lately. ya know...55 hubs in 3 weeks? haha

Thanks for the read man


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Your prose is vivid, of that there is no doubt. But I agree with Randy; I could have used more conclusive action for three hubs. We have the beautiful telling of a winged beast rising up from a pit, but I come away remembering little else (doesn't help that I'm reading for hours in the middle of night). Cheers, if you drink. Dry cheers if you don't.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Great! I can well imagine that your idea will flow like a river!!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - indeed...you may have sorta given me an idea. To be honest, the conclusion to this is still unknown to me...

haha


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

That was my point, Ben. What happens here is of so little concern beyond here. In fact, HERE has relatively little concern for what we think about it. (wink)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - the universe knows nothing of these events :D but I like that very much hehe

Mentalist - spot on lol

Nikki - thank you


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

liked this one best of the 3.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

...and the children will war with old ways of defeat.;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

. . . and the Universe merely sighs.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

lol...

poor dirty girl ;]


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

I'm pretty sure you did, Mr. Writings lol


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

A volcano? This was a mere morsel. Spill it man, I don't got all night. Well I do but I'm an impatient female. "Elemental surges

Pulsate rhythmically" liked that... of course I did, It sounded dirty.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Ellie, who said it was a trilogy? haha


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

It's how I roll, Ian ;]

I would much rather read such potent words in small doses.

Thank you, I am glad you like them


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

And the trilogy goes out with a bang xD Fantabulous


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

I'm glad you have the guts to serve small morsels of poetry so that it can be assimilated without ploughing through a plethora of words... Great use of archaic wording for an apocryphal subject.

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