Almost Like A Pause


In that moment

the night would fold,

he felt cold,

and he could smell the sweat

coming from his flesh,

it was a salty smell,

but fresh,

there was no need or cause,

for the air to be still,

almost like a pause,

the fear would call,

as the heat would suddenly rise,

then fall,

there was the pressure

building in his chest,

then it stopped short,

shaking his head,

he would cough,

his eyes red,

as the whispers would rise,

then fall off,

his eyelids quivered,

his body shivered,

and just like that,

death, he would meet,

his chest would slowly rise again,

and his heart would beat,

once, twice,

he fell to the floor,

and his heart would beat no more.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 82 comments

savanahl profile image

savanahl 4 years ago

What an awesome piece. You make death seem so beautiful, very melodic. I really like this one a lot. Voting up and awesome.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I'd rather die in my sleep than from a heart attack. Very vivid poem. Awesome Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Sava for the visit and You too Just Ask Susan bless you both :)


time2rite profile image

time2rite 4 years ago from Navarre, Fl, USA

You took a final moment in time, a heart attack, and made it seem like it was moving in slow motion almost like a beautiful waltz. Awesome read, Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

time3rite your comments are always rite on time.. thank you so much


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

I agree absolutely with time2rite, this was so well done. I love it. Voting up and away


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

wow Frank..the end of our lives.. Just to think about it what will it be like/. will it be painful or not? and you said it all so well in this poem.. I love the way you described it my friend

voted way up

Debbie


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Frank, my friend you have written the very best poem it's great. Voted up and Awesome.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much toobusiness for reading and Our Ms Brooks as always bless you and writer20 you're the best period...:) Frank


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 4 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

You did not leave that long, but this is a fresh reminder of how the king steps.

If you are one that's afraid of the enormous amount ways death can be described.

Great work brethren.

Bless.


reikieffect profile image

reikieffect 4 years ago

Frank you find beauty and poetry even in death! Awesome


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks sky for you comment had to at least hit the 300 mark..:) and Reik thank you too for your wonderful comment..bless you all :) Frank


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

wow frank...how do you do it? such vivid descriptions and yet made sense.

voted up and sharing!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Oh Frank this was very creative and vivid! You nailed this one..although I do not know what death feels like, you did give a great image to draw from. Great work! :)


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Frank, another great added to the collection. You never cease to amaze me with your detail and creative poetry my friend. Well done.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

beautifully done--the dance of death as only you can do it--


duffsmom profile image

duffsmom 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

Can't find the words that haven't already been said - well done Frank, very well done!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Ruch and Sunnie Day for visiting my pause, and I want to thank you toothe lyricwriter and my sweet dear Audrey Howitt and never forget duffsmom bless you all :) Frank


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Wow...this was truly great, Frank! You just have a wonderful way with words!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

This reads like slow motion. It is very good Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks justateacher and Hyhen for your visit to my pause :) Frank


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Frank

I felt the fear and pain. Awesome writing.

Voted up and awesome.

Have a good evening. :)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

You did well with this one Frank. Your words are so vivid.

I imagine that last moment would happen in slow motion, as when a car is headed towards you for a head on collision that last few seconds seems to take hours and yet there is no time to do anything. Yes almost like a pause.

You wrote captured this moment perfectly

Voting up across the board except funny


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much for reading sueswan.. and Rosemay bless you all three of you guys :)


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

What a great way to die...so vivid description on this Frank...Bless you...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

a great way to die? LOL thank you raci ...bless you


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Yet again great words from you my friend;very well told and in your own unique style as always .

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

O my gosh Frank, believe you've nailed feelings that the big one can induce. Known far too many who probably would fit-in the narrative here. Best to do all one can to prevent so as to not wind up in a chilling but awesome poem like this.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Eddy.. and Alastar Packer you're comment is so much appreciated Frank


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Even though I'm reading this in a humid afternoon, I can feel the night, the cold and the darkness of death.

This is wonderful Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks VG :)


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

You are giving Edgar Allen Poe a run for his money!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

LOL thanks wd curry LOL


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...congratulations on 300 quality hubs Frank - you are still one of my favorite writers here - you can say so much in so few words and still tell an effective story - bravo to you and as always - awesome to read.

lake erie time 3:54pm


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Epi for your kind words :)


Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

A heart attack in words. Awesome...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

hey you.. moms-secret


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Came back for another read---just really well done Frank!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Audrey :) you're too kind


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Well worth a second read my friend:) Hope you are doing great Frank. Me, staying too busy for any good. See you later.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks the lyricwriter for that second look.. yeah a little trouble never hurts right?


shimmering Dawn profile image

shimmering Dawn 4 years ago

That is what I missed! Oh my God you are so good at this! Have a blessed day!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much shim-dawn :)


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

OMG what more can I say. Brilliant work!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you acaetnna


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Wow, I love this! What probably seems like an eternity at the moment of death was captured in that moment. All the thoughts, the movements.... I enjoyed this so much. Many votes!


madmachio profile image

madmachio 4 years ago from Kansas

Good Hub!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks so much Victoria Lynn for reading my pause.. and thank you too Madmachio :)


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 4 years ago from Close to Heaven

Wow Frank love this. I always feel like I'm reading a thriller or mystery novel when I read your poetry. Voted up.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

that was sweet Caroline bless you :)


AshtonFirefly profile image

AshtonFirefly 4 years ago

Very well written...voted up :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Ashtonfirefly :)


Secret lies profile image

Secret lies 4 years ago from Redlands California

Such a beautiful feeling. I love this,"as the whispers would rise,

then fall off,

his eyelids quivered,

his body shivered,

and just like that,

death, he would meet,

his chest would slowly rise again,". Absolutely amazing.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

i sense those lies.. secrets..LOL only kidding thanks for stopping by :) Frank


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

Another breath-taking piece. Awesome work.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

No words could adequately describe the depth of this writing, Frank. You have an eye for the detail and the end that this piece unfolds. Well done.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Phoebe and Pegcole for stopping by my pause :)


Secret lies profile image

Secret lies 4 years ago from Redlands California

My lies are secrets lol


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

i bet they are


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

No one can write about death like you do, another "inspirational" piece for me. :)


KatrineDalMonte 4 years ago

It's a great poem Frank, the last moments expressed so well. I cannot write such a piece for I don't think of death at all, only life eternal :-) Well done.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Kat and Senortitaa bless you both


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Frank dear.. I was looking for your latest hub.. are you all right? I need some of your wonderful new hubs!!!

debbie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you.. Our Dear Ms Brooks.. I'm on a reading blitz now.. that 30/30 has me reading so many wonderful hubs so no time to write... bless you


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

Superb description here, Frank, and from the many comments left here it has touched that 'last' nerve in all of us.

Your ability to capture the emotional aspect of torturous subjects like death, vampires, etc, amazes me! Well done and as always, gripping, captivating and interesting.

Rated up and AWESOME!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Denise


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Quite wonderful Frank. I noticed how many of the comments referred to music, a waltz, a dance....there is a musicality here, a rhythm that is just exquisite. :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank PHDAST7 for visiting my pause :)


Kebennett1 profile image

Kebennett1 4 years ago from San Bernardino County, California

You are an awesome poet. I can see and almost feel it because your imagery is so vivid.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

again thanks for leaving footprints and reading :)


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

Frank, brilliant writing! You have caught in just a few words the pause between life and death. The very last intermission in life, filled with fear and pain. Outstanding!


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Frank, this is beautiful. I think you and Audrey are two of the most eloquent poets writing for HP.

As a musician, the "pause" means quit a lot to us - some pauses can be longer than others, etc.

Voted beautiful

John


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Great poem about an inevitable, but, we hope distant appointment. It captures that moment so well.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks so much Sannel.. John and xstatic for stopping on my pause bless you guys :)


Angelme566 profile image

Angelme566 4 years ago

its nicely written but i thought i didn't like , i am afraid , i can picture it..


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks for stopping by angelme566


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Frank, your poems on HubPages appear less frequent these days. I went to read some of the titles and found I have read and commented on many. But I chose to comment on this one.

Night is dark, and I'm going to sleep.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

VG thanks for visiting I know I'm working on some now,, but probably going to place them on Triond.. this month but again thanks for stopping by :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 18 months ago from southern USA

Hi Frank, thought I'd dig up some of your older work and I am glad I did! Wow, look at all of these great comments from three years ago. This must have been before I knew of you or right before I joined HP. I wish that all of these writers were still on here and I wonder where have they gone? Oh, well, as long as you don't drift off somewhere. I see you were coming up with the great titles even back then to your stellar poems. Hugs


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 18 months ago from Shelton Author

LOL I wonder the same thing my amazing virtual friend :) Faith


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 18 months ago from southern USA

I am about to get on my laptop so I will be sure to share everywhere and do the thumbs up. I cannot share via my phone for some reason but I can vote across all except the thumbs up? I hope you are enjoying a peaceful Sunday dear Frank. Hugs and blessings to you from your faithful virtual follower : ) me ole' Faithful LOL


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 18 months ago from Shelton Author

thank ouso mch my dear...:) bless you bi time

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