Alone, to be with myself

I see their faces, in this lonely place

And I know I shall not see them again

The pain is shown upon troubled brows

The eyes that look as if they cannot see

Settle amongst old memories and straight through me

Gleaming when they smile with joy

Perhaps as a young girl or a fresh boy

Hearts secrets they alone carry within

Standing tall , proud and without sin

Old age is a funny thing, that seems so far away

A place we all will be sooner or later, One Day !

The unsettled way they make me feel,

A beat out of rhythm, a sorrow no one can truly know

Body disfigured, mind is lost, and heart still wants to flow

Suffer for me, suffer with me, then please set me free.

If one could read another's mind? What a tale a thought might tell?

This road may seem Heaven to you, but to me ?...Hell

To be left in a stranger's hand, they just do not understand

My fears, my tears, my needs, and my demands

Alone to be with myself, to face the end silently I Pray

Oh God forgive me my sins and take me home TODAY.

Comments 36 comments

daniel.edie profile image

daniel.edie 6 years ago from Augusta KY

Omg i love it!


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

You amaze me! This is perfect! Thank you GMa for sharing your heart! Love ya lots!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

daniel.edie...fast response I must say...must be FB :O) Thanks for the encouragement...:o) Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Candie my dear sweet lady...Thanks...I so miss writing but Mom comes first right now...Hope all is well for you and we need to do lunch soooon...My Love back...:O) Hugs G-Ma


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

Good to see you here G-ma...your writing is as heartfelt as ever! :)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Hi Feline...has been a long time and am overwhelmed right now but trying to get with it again...Thanks my dear so much...:O) Hugs G-Ma


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

I can feel your emotions, your love and sorrow through this poem. Missed you!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

VioletSun..Hi sweetie and Thank you I miss you all too...:O) Hugs G-Ma


Cindi Johnson 6 years ago

Mom,

That was beautiful. How bout you wait til tomorrow though? I love you and give grandma a hug for me and tell her I have Gracie, her cat. She wont remember, but who knows. Gracie is the fattest cat I have ever seen and has a texas draw......loud one.......xoxo


Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 6 years ago from Cornwall

Gma, your caring loving nature shines through from this poem. Miss you. Take care of yourself.x


Debilyn profile image

Debilyn 6 years ago from Garden City, MI

Oh, sweet lady....you have such a talent for putting your emotions into words. I've missed reading your hubs. Praying for your continued strength while you're enduring all that life is throwing at you. Rob and I are sending you our love and prayers of blessings!! xoxo


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

So much emotion and heart - thank you for sharing such precious verse.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 6 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

Poingnant and beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing piece. It must be really hard for you, seeing your mother go through this.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Hi Daughter,

Haa Haa :O) a Texas meow ?? Funny lady.Thanks for the response my sweet one...:O) Hugs Mom


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Hawksdream..Thank you so much..am doing my best under the circumstances...:O) Hugs G-Ma


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Truly amazing and so poignant. Growing older as we all must do brings on for many, sadness, pain and tears. I shed one while reading this poem, I feel the pain. Thank you for sharing.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Debilyn...Hugs and Kisses back my dear and Thank you both for your support as always...:O) Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

billie...I am thankful for everyone's attention, just needed to release some inner thoughts...:O) Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

alekhouse... it is difficult enough, but harder to see the way the SYSTEM fails our elderly...write the congressmen is what they say...no need to take on the responsibilty of the work they do, and take the money from the people...oops...Thanks my dear you are so sweet...:O) Hugs G-Ma


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

saddlerider1..Well thank you once again for following me and for the tear, one of which many I have shed. The pain is always there, but only smiles and up beat when with my mother, I guess you are ALL my sounding block THANKS EVERYONE OF YOU...:O) Hugs G-Ma


justom profile image

justom 6 years ago from 41042

I understand you're feelings. Someone said to me a while back that gettin' old ain't for sissies. It sounds simple but is so true. I wish you and your mom Peace !! Tom


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

justom...Nice to meet you and Thank You for the comment...couldn't agree more...:O) Hugs G-ma


eovery profile image

eovery 6 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

Long time no hear. Nice to see you writing again.

Keep on Hubbing!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

eovery THANK YOU:O) Hugs G-Ma


Raven King profile image

Raven King 6 years ago from Cabin Fever

G-Ma you bared your heart and soul. Thanks for the inspiration!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

I really just released some of my frustration at the system that screws our elderly..Hi Sweet Lady, you are always here for me Love You...:O) Hugs G-Ma


coffeesnob 6 years ago

So powerful. Thanks for sharing this


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

coffeesnob...YW...and Thank You my dear...:O) Hugs G-Ma


celinewayne profile image

celinewayne 6 years ago

awesome =)

i love reading your poem of "alone, to be myself"

so deep in emotion, just rated it UP =)

thanks for sharing, G-ma. GBU


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

celinewayne...Thank you my newest Fan, glad to have you aboard... :O) Hugs G-Ma GBU 2


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

My mother died this January and although her memory was slipping and her body becoming more frail, I'd give anything to be able to hear her voice or feel her touch again. Try and enjoy whatever small pleasures you can get...a look...a touch...even an uttered word that carries some meaning. Although it is hard, you will miss your Mom when she is gone. Hugs to you and your Mom.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Peggy...I do know that my dear...That's why all this is so tough now, she is so frail, so defenseless and so sweet...words just can't describe my feelings...Thank you for the comment and my Prayers to you for such a Lose..God Bless You...:O) Hugs G-Ma


no body profile image

no body 6 years ago from Rochester, New York

I understand. I would rather be home than here and of no use to the Lord to witness and usher others home. But the thing is that silence is sometimes a testimony that witnesses of a great life and can point others to the gospel they have already heard. If God wants to keep me here to endure this, it is not easy to say, but it would be okay with me. I hurt for you but others may be effected for their eternal good by seeing her and working with her. God loves her and you. I love you too, Ma. Bob.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Bob...You are a wise Man..and though I Realize what you say is true...and I can understand the pain He went through is in no way equal to any we shall endure, my heart aches to see this frail 90 year old woman so defenseless. He is the Way and the Light and I will endure whatever it takes, but I need to release and this seems to be where I feel safe.

Thank You for your words of encouragement..I read them and take them very seriously...God Bless...:O) Hugs G-Ma


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 6 years ago from Central United States of America

Suffer for me, then suffer with me...and then let me go...

How truly realistic, how sad, yet there is always Hope and the realization of final blessings! And memories, G-ma!

Thank you for this beautiful expression/experience hub.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 6 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

frogyfish..I do know YOU understand and I pray for you everyday...thanks for taking time to encourage me...:O) Hugs G-Ma

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