Amos the Runaway Dog-My attempt at a childrens book

My attempt at writing

The following is my first ever attempt to write a children's story. I've never done anything like this before, so please be kind! I want honesty, just not cruelty! HAHA I'm picturing it approximately one of each paragraph per page or thereabouts, with adorable illustrations. So my next question is, Who knows how to draw well?? :) I was having trouble coming up with long stories, I'm not the greatest with poetry, so I just thought this might be kind of fun. The dog featured is my real life dog, Amos, a chocolate Labrador retriever. Amos is 7 1/2 years old, and as you can see, he loves children. My grandson Jax absolutely adores Amos and lays on him every chance he gets. Doesn't seem to bother Amos at all! Anyway, I will quit stalling now, and put my story out there for your "kind" critiques! Thanks for your time.


Amos The Runaway Dog

There once was a lovely dog named Amos. Amos was a big, brown dog that lived in a tiny town. Amos loved his people dearly, but sometimes Amos got bored. His people didn’t do much outside, so Amos didn’t get enough running and playing.

Sometimes the grandchildren would come over to visit. Amos loved those days best. Because when the little ones were there, they dropped food. Amos wasn’t allowed to have any “people” food, only dog food, so when some got dropped, he was a very happy dog indeed.

One day when the grandchildren came to visit, Amos snuck out the front door. Oh they were all so upset, calling and looking and trying to find him. But naughty Amos did not want to be found. He wanted to run and play and find out what all was outside in that great big world. So he ignored them calling his name and just kept running.

Amos ran past a yard with another big dog inside a fence. He ran past a group of kids playing in the park. He passed houses and trees and all sorts of things. But he still kept running. Oh the wind felt so good on his face, the smells he could smell!

Soon Amos came to a pond with a large dock sticking out of one end. He thought it would be fun to swim in that pond. He’d done that once with his people, and he’d enjoyed it very much! So Amos ran and leaped into the water, making a giant splash! He swam and swam, water dripping from his ears, until he was just too tired to swim anymore. He crawled from the pond, took a drink of it to help his dry throat, and went over to the bank and lay down.

When Amos woke from his nap the sky was dark. Oh my thought Amos, I have been gone from home a very long time. My people will be worried. But now it is dark and I’m not sure how to get home. Amos was very sad. Even though he sometimes got bored at his house, he loved his people very much. He had his very own couch he was allowed to sleep on whenever he wanted. They fed him two times a day, and boy his food was yummy, and he was very hungry!

With night getting darker and darker, and Amos getting more and more hungry, he began to walk. He couldn’t find his way home, he’d never been this far away before. He walked and he walked, and he even cried a little. And just when he was starting to think he’d never make it home, he heard the most wonderful sound ever! “Amos, where are you?” His people had been looking for him all day, driving and calling and checking all of the places they’d ever taken Amos. They remembered the time they had gone to the pond, so they came to see if Amos had remembered it too. He went running and jumped all over them, kissing and licking, they were hugging him and saying how very happy they were to see him.

They even let that naughty Amos get into the car, even though he smelled like pond water, and he was covered in mud and sand. They sure did love that silly dog! When they got home they filled his bowl with food, gave him fresh water, and lots of hugs. Boy was Amos sure glad to be home with people that loved him!




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Comments 11 comments

Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

A sweet story, Angie, and, as you say, you would like it illustrated. I looked into illustrations once when I wrote a children's story. I can draw, but I am also very lazy... Apparently, the publishers like to choose their own illustrators, because they know what sort of illustrations are "fashionable".

I'm not trying to undermine what you have written, as I think it's sweet, and the story line is easy to follow; which is a good thing. But I have taught a lot of children in the age range that this is geared towards, and their interests change from week to week. What might work brilliantly for one group (and one locality) might not for the other.

By the way, I love Chocolate Labs... can I come and live at yours?


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago Author

Ian, you know you are always welcome at my house anytime. Bring treats! :)


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee

I loved it and have no suggestions, quite honestly. These are the types of stories I like to read (me being a guy who still thinks the Frog and Toad series are the best books ever written). I'm sure it's appropriate for kids, I dunno, from the age of 1 to 5 or so, and for guys like me who are still 1 to 5 at heart.

You've reminded me of the children's story I never finished. My mom was doing the illustrations and doing them quite well. It was about a seaturtle that thought it was a bird. (Nobody steal my idea!) Maybe I'll finish it one day. PS, I would buy this book if you get it published. I have a soft spot for children's stories.


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago Author

Adam, You are the sweetest thing ever! And if/when I get it published I will give you a free copy, being an honorary son of mine and all. Thank you for your kind words. xo

And you should finish yours, it sounds cute!


LaurieDawn profile image

LaurieDawn 5 years ago

Okay, if I say I like it, you will just say I am being kind just the big Sis, but then again if I don't comment, you will think I don't like it. So I am gonna say I like it, and not because I am the big Sis. Just because I think it's cute. And I want a free copy too, of course.

xoxo

Laur


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Charge them the full price, Angie, and charge them for your signature... Greedy buggers want everything free.


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago Author

Laur, I am charging you double for your copy, just because I'm a bratty little sister! HAHA Just kidding.

But you're right, I don't believe you, you're just trying to be nice.

xoxo

Ian, You are a total brat, you know that right? I don't think I have to worry about charging anyone anything for my book. I can't even get more than three people to comment on the darn thing, and one of those is my sister! Sighhhhhh


Paula 5 years ago

Ang, I love it. Of course, you know I like stories about dogs...after all, they were one of three of God's most wonderfully well-thought out creations. And of course, Amos is one of my favorite dogs!


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago Author

Ok, dogs are one, horses are one, what is the third? And thank you for your sweet words!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Plankton are the third.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Great story and here's to reading many more by you.

Take care my friend.

Eddy.

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