An Obedient Servant

The Author

An Obedient Servant

(A three act skit)

An unmarried woman was finding it difficult to cope up with many tasks around the house. So she decided to hire a servant. She placed the following ad in the local newspaper:

Wanted : A MALE, OBEDIENT SERVANT, PREPARED TO WORK FOR SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.

Scene 1 :

A woman is sitting in the sofa reading a newspaper. Aloud she thinks, ‘Well, the ad is published. I hope somebody will read it and get interested in the job.’

There is a knock on the door.

‘Come in,’ she shouted.

A man walks in and stands in front of her. He bows to her and says, ‘Madam, you have advertised for an obedient servant. I have come to be your obedient servant.’

Woman: (looking at him with inquiring eyes) ‘Can you cook’

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

Woman : (puzzled with the reply) ‘Can you vacuum clean the house ?’

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

Woman : ‘Can you fix up things around the house ?’

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

Woman : (Getting upset and angry) ‘Can you at least drive a car ?

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

Woman : (Very angry, gets up) ‘What about some gardening ? Can you do that ?’

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

Woman : (Now very angry, picks up the stick) ‘So what good you are ? Do you mind if I beat you ?’

Man : ‘No madam, but I will work as your obedient servant.’

The woman starts beating the man and shouts, ‘You are totally useless. Get out of here.’

Scene 2 :

The woman is sitting in sofa sipping coffee from a mug. She thinks aloud, ‘When will I find the right servant ?’

There is a knock on the door.

Excitedly, the woman shouts, ‘The door is open, come in, please.’

A man walks in, bows to the woman and says politely, ‘Madam, you have advertised for an obedient servant. I have come to apply for the job.’

The woman surveys the man from top to bottom then asks, ‘Can you cook ?’

Man : ‘Yes madam, but that was not mentioned in your ad.’

Woman : Can you vacuum clean the house ?’

Man : ‘Yes madam, but that was not mentioned in your ad.’

Woman : ‘Can you fix up things around the house ?’

Man : ‘Yes madam, but that was not mentioned in your ad.’

Woman : Can you drive a car ?’

Man : ‘Yes madam, but that was not mentioned in your ad.’

Woman : ‘Can you do gardening ?’

Man : ‘Yes madam, but that was not mentioned in your ad.’

Woman : ‘Good. On Monday you will drive me to the supermarket to pick up the bargains, on Tuesday to Thursday you will drive me to the club, on Friday you will drive me to the down-town for shopping, on Saturday you will drive me to the opera, and on Sunday you will drive me to the beach for a picnic. You will be allowed to go and see a movie while I am at the Opera. Your other duties will be explained to you everyday morning.’

Man : ‘Excuse me madam, does it mean you are employing me to do all these works ?’

Woman : (smiling) ‘Yes. ‘You must consider yourself lucky to get the job. You can start work tomorrow.’

Man ; ‘I don’t think so.’

Woman : (a little bit confused) ‘Why not ?’

Man ; ‘A servant cannot do all these things seven days a week. YOU NEED AN OBEDIENT HUSBAND.’

The man walks out.

Scene 3 :

The woman is pacing up and down in the room. There are a few letters in her hand. She looks worried.

There is a knock on the door.

Woman : (looking anxiously at the door) ‘Oh brother, come in quickly. I am glad you could come.’

The brother walks in.

Brother : ‘What’s the matter, Sis ? You sounded so much worried on the phone !’

The woman rushes to the brother and hands over the pile of letters to him and says, ‘look at these letters. They are so much worrying, I do not know what to do ?’

The brother reads the letters one by one :

- A group called ‘women for anti-sex-discrimination’ wants to sue you because your ad asks for ‘A male servant’ and so excludes all women.

- The first applicant filed complaint in ‘the equal opportunity board’ for refusing to employ him even though he was prepared to be your ‘obedient servant’ as required in the ad.

- A notice from the ‘Minister for the Consumers Affairs’ for a misleading advertisement for not specifying the duties of the servant, as per the sworn statement of the second applicant.

- A notice from the ‘Department of Labour and Industries’ warning you that you cannot ask any employee to work for ‘seven days a week’

Then looking at his sister, he says, ‘Oh, Sis, you are in a real big trouble ! What are you going to do about it ?’

Woman : Please brother. I plead you. I do not know what to do ? Find some way out of it. I am so much frightened.’

The brother thinks hard, then says slowly, ‘there is only one way out. You may claim that there was a typing error in preparing the ad.

Woman inquired anxiously, ‘What kind of typing error ? It is only a one sentence ad !’

Brother : ‘Well, you can claim that the word ‘servant’ was supposed to be word ‘Husband’.

Woman ; (she was furious, almost not believing) ‘What ? Why would I want a husband ? And how is that going to get rid of all the complaints and avoid a law-suit ?’

Brother : ‘Easy sis. I am not saying you need a husband. But that is the surest way out.

Woman ; ‘Explain it.’

Brother :

- As your husband has to be a Male, there is no sex-discrimination in asking for a ‘Male Husband.’

- The first applicant was prepared to be only an obedient servant, not a husband.

- A husband’s duties include all those unspecified demands made by his wife and hence need not be listed in the ad.

- There is no law against a husband working for seven days a week.

Woman : ‘Oh, my God.’!

And she fainted !




Comments 1 comment

Dinesh Srivastava 6 years ago

Very amusing. Well written!

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